The season is now through 82 games. You know what that means?!
It means I'm pissed at myself for ignoring the exact halfway point yesterday (thinking I could get away with it), only to get a text from an excited reader about the "halfway blog tonight."
For the record, I'm not pissed at the person who texted me this at all. I thought about this last night - we were 81 games in...that's a perfect spot to post something! Plus I only have 11 posts in June, and I had 13 in each of April and May. This could surely get me to 13 if I did a post for the halfway point and one reacting to the series today! And if you haven't noticed through the first 2 years of this blog, my mind only really works in numbers. And I teach social studies why? Don't worry about it.
Off the record, though, I hate Steve.
(Kidding! That is, as long as you're actually reading this, Steve. If he's not, let the hatred begin!)
There are about a billion different things that I could possibly do for a halfway post. Unfortunately for you, I can only think of about 4 of them.
1) At this rate
No one wants this. Sure, I can throw in a joke or 2 about bin Laden dying again, but I already did that at the illustrious 1/5 mark of the season. I'll probably end up doing some of this anyway, though.
2) Revisit my predictions
This one I just really don't want to do because those things are embarrassing. And I did that at that famed 20% mark as well. I'll probably end up doing some of this anyway, though.
3) General thoughts about the season so far
This has no structure to it whatsoever! I could be typing for days. No one wants to read that. Seriously, that post will be somewhere around 4,000 words. I'll probably end up doing some of this anyway, though.
4) What can we expect the 2nd half of the season?
Who freakin' knows?! You saw my predictions for this Red Sox series. I clearly have no faith in this team and think they are all a group of big majokers who only succeed with luck and the best starting rotation in history. I'll probably end up doing some of this anyway, though.
And a 5th, unforeseen direction I could go:
5) Complain about people I don't like associated with the Phillies
This is what most every other post ends up being anyway, so let's just count on this to be the majority of it.
So here is my attempt at a post summing up the season for the Phillies, past, present, and future.
I will start (a little late to start, yes?) by saying that the All-Star Break is not the halfway point in the season. I hate the All-Star Break for this reason alone. We still have another 2 weeks or something weird probably until the All-Star Break. See? I don't even know! And I'm too lazy to check because why should I have to check? Just make it July 1st every year. That's so much easier for everyone to remember. And we play baseball every day of the week anyway, it's not like it needs to be worked around a weekend or anything like that. It's not like this works out better with the way series' line up either, because every team has such a weirdly different schedule throughout the season and we end up playing stupid 2-game series' with the Cardinals in the first half anyway. And another thing about the All-Star Break. The Home Run Derby participants should just be the best home run hitters, not necessarily All-Stars. If someone is hitting .197 but every one of their hits is a home run, then let's go for it. And I don't really want Phillies pitchers in the All-Star Game because it'll just mess up their rest between starts. We should end up having 3 starters in there. If Uncle Chuck's head doesn't explode during the week before or after the All-Star Game, I'll put my life savings on the Phillies winning the World Series this year (don't hold me to that, although it's not much money anyway).
I have yet to even really talk about the Phillies, and I feel like this is already getting a little lengthy. I warned you...
So right now we are probably on pace to have the worst offensive season in baseball history. Definitely the worst for a team that will win 100 games (on pace for 102). Ryan Howard is our only player who will hit 20 home runs or get 80 RBI. That's such a joke. In 2008? 4 20-homer guys, 3 80-RBI. 2009? 5 and 5. Including Pedro Feliz having 82 RBI. We currently have just one player who is as productive as PETER HAPPY was for us in 2009. He batted .266 in the 7 spot in our order with 12 home runs and still got 82 RBI. So I think it is safe to say that we need to get another bat in our lineup. Can we just trade to get Jayson Werth back? And make the Nationals continue to pay him? Ok, good.
Look at this. Thinking about being halfway through the season and all I'm doing is getting angry. Why? Why?!??
If you were to look back at my season preview, you will see that I made 7 predictions for this season. Five of said predictions are not worth me mentioning right now because they're just sort of embarrassing. But a few of them are fun to look at. I said that Ryan Howard would win a Gold Glove this year. I'm sticking with this one. Pujols is hurt, Adrian Gonzalez is in the AL, and who else is there that really stands out defensively or has a big enough name for them to give a Gold Glove to (oh, politics)? No one, I don't think. And Howard only has 2 errors thus far this season, probably neither of which were his fault (because I said so). I would encourage you all to join in the campaign and yell "Gold Glove" every time a ball gets hit to him.
I also picked us to win the World Series against the White Sox. The White Sox were horrible just a month or so ago, but they've since gotten to within 4.5 games of the Tigers in the AL Central, and we all know the Indians aren't actually going to stay respectable. It's almost too easy for us to make the playoffs at this point (not even going to knock on wood, it's just true), so I am going to stick with that prediction. We're up 4 games in the East right now, so we will win it by 8 games (duh, math). At that point, the playoffs are generally about pitching and defense, and we have both of those. (But my God do we need an offense)
This season has generally been pretty enjoyable through the first 82 games now. It is much of what I expected, so I could never get too upset at our lack of scoring runs. As a matter of fact, I would encourage you to go back and read that season preview that I linked to earlier in this post. It's basically all the same feelings that I have right now. I talked about how bad it sucked to not have Utley, how much Ben Francisco bites, how old Ibanez is, and how good our starters are. A few things have changed since then, though.
With Oswalt hurt, are we going to trade for another ace or what???
On a more serious note, our bullpen has been a pleasant surprise for the most part. I don't really want Brad Lidge to come back for fear that we may think he can close. Contreras I still have faith in and Madson I have more faith in than ever. The people who have surprised everyone, though, are Antonio Bastardo and Michael Stutes. It will be exciting to see how they handle such a big role on such a good team over the course of an entire season and into the playoffs. Today, Christopher Wheeler said that "they" (whoever they are) were referring to the Phillies bullpen as the "Pig Bullpen." Either "they" are complete morons, or you are a complete moron, Christopher Wheeler. Due to empirical evidence, I will go with the latter. It would be witty to call it the "Pigpen" due to the fact that most of these guys started in Lehigh Valley this year. It would be a waste of a built-in joke to call it the Pig Bullpen. Get a job.
And SPEAKING OF our terrible announcers, today I counted Thomas McCarthy saying "and the SIIIiiide...is retired" 9 times. That means throughout a game he says that once for every 2 times the side is retired. In the exact same voice like he's trying to sell me something. Please please please stop doing this. Don't make this into a thing. Is he trying to make it into a thing? Because that's not a good thing to have be your thing! (That's almost as annoying as asking questions only to answer them yourself all the time. Is that a good "thing" to have? Unfortunately, I don't think it is. Sorry everyone.) If I liked him or thought he was halfway decent, I would sit and watch and say it along with him in a fun way every time, like I'm at a Pistons game. It could be fun to take a boring saying and make it fun for all. But it's not fun. YOU'RE not fun, Thomas. You would be better off being the new spokesperson for Oxi Clean. Except a knock-off brand of Oxi Clean. Because you can't come anywhere close to Billy Mays.
Another thing that really bothers me about these guys is Christopher Wheeler's constant desire to tell me how competitive someone is. This is not unique to our horrible broadcast team, but I notice it all the time when they give a scouting report on a pitcher. "He's been around for a while and he doesn't have great stuff but boy is he a competitor." Of course he's a competitor! He's a professional athlete! If he weren't a competitor, he'd be doing anything else with his life. A lot of people are athletic. Unless they are competitive, though, it doesn't really matter. If you don't want to win all the time, your athleticism will lead you nowhere. I guarantee that every single professional athlete is the most competitive person that any one of their non-athlete friends knows (except for Jose Reyes). It's like saying that a basketball player is athletic. Or saying that a cornerback is quick. Calling a chess player smart. That's the equivalent of calling a professional athlete competitive. Please tell me when they are not competitive so I can call you a liar rather than a moron.
See what happens? This post isn't even about the season being halfway over. It's just rambling about nothing. This is why I try to stick to previews, so my posts can have some type of direction. I leave the ramblings for the Male Bags.
We should expect some good things from the second half of the season. I can't really analyze the schedule for you or anything because, well, it's baseball. But I do know that we are almost through with interleague play and have done so with a 7-5 record thus far. The series we just completed against the Red Sox was very encouraging. It had a playoff-type feel to it, and our pitchers stepped up in that atmosphere. That makes me feel so much better about this team as we go forth into the 2nd half and eventually the playoffs. Even though the bats aren't the best, they can give us just enough for our pitching to capitalize on.
Lastly, I will give you some things that will happen and won't happen in the 2nd half of this season. The following are statements of pure, indisputable fact:
Roy Halladay WILL throw a complete game shutout
Cole Hamels WON'T miss any starts because his non-throwing hand has a boo-boo on it
Chase Utley WILL get his average up to .300 and keep it there
Cliff Lee WON'T give up another earned run in 2011
Ryan Howard WILL hit 40 home runs
The Phillies WON'T get swept in a series this season other than that stupid 2-game majoke against the Cardinals
Thomas McCarthy WILL have a birthday this Tuesday
I WON'T celebrate that in any way. I probably won't even watch the game because of it
Ryan Madson WILL be our full-time closer once he is back
The Pirates WON'T finish with a winning record. Sorry, B Fresh. It's the only bad thing about your sports teams that can actually be talked about (other than how horribly annoying they are). It must continue
The Phillies WILL win the division by double-digit games
The Phillies WON'T blow it against an NL team in the playoffs
The Phillies WILL win the World Series
A pitcher WON'T win MVP of that World Series...Chase Utley will
I WILL continue blogging through the end of the season and playoffs
I remembered I wanted to say this but then went back and had nowhere good to put it (you know, like how everything else was so well-placed in this post). Ben Francisco is terrible. The only reason I don't give him as much crap as Ibanez is because he doesn't play every day. But we seriously cannot make our lineup or bench worse by putting Mayberry there instead of him. Or by adding Mayberry and getting rid of a pitcher. Our bullpen pitched on Saturday of this past week. The next time it pitched? Wednesday. Complete games on Sunday and Tuesday. And there are more of those to come. And more 7- and 8-inning starts. So why not get an extra bat (since we can't score) and leave Drew Carpenter down in the minors where he won't get shellacked by Jason Varitek (who is awful)?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Interleague Update
This post is going to serve as both a recap of what already has happened in our interleague games as well as a preview of the upcoming series with the Red Sox.
What's the worst that could happen?
I would encourage us to keep that question in mind during this upcoming series with the Red Sox. I'm not saying that because I have a negative attitude about it. Don't mistake the theme of this post as negative. I think it's just realistic.
So far, we have played against only AL West teams in interleague play. Generally, they have weak offenses and unspectacular pitching. The Red Sox do not fall into either of those categories at all. They have a very dangerous offense with a starting rotation that, when healthy, is potentially as good as ours. Yes, I mean that.
So let's look at what we can expect from the series. Thus far, the Phils have been just about as good as, probably better than, expected against the American League. Our starters have compiled a 1.84 ERA against them. Fantastic. The bullpen? A 1.76 ERA. We've given up just 65 hits in the 79 innings pitched with just 3 home runs allowed. The staff is holding those opponents to somewhere around a .215 batting average. This is all good news, right? Well...
Our record against the AL is 5-4. That's a winning record! Yay! But it's really not that great if you look at those pitching numbers. We should be probably somewhere around 7-2 at worst with statistics like those. But AL pitchers have a 1.97 ERA against us, holding our hitters to a batting average that is somewhere around .194. We've had just 84 base runners in 77.2 innings. We can't score runs. We can't do it against anyone this season in general, but we seem to definitely not be too into hitting against the American League. Shane Victorino is batting .317 in interleague play, but everyone else is pretty much nowhere close to that. And he missed the series with the Rangers. Obviously, our pitching has kept us alive. This last series, there were a total of 10 runs scored for BOTH teams in 3 games. Ugh. I would hate to have been at the game Friday night. (Oh wait. I was. And I think I slept through 7 innings)
Will this fly against the Red Sox? NO! They are 1st in the MLB in batting average, 1st in runs scored, 1st in on-base percentage, and 2nd in slugging percentage. This is why I'm worried about this series. This is why we need to constantly ask ourselves, "What's the worst that could happen?" Right now, we sit at 5 games up in the NL East and even 2.5 games up in the MLB. So what if we get swept? Not saying we will or we should, but what if we do? We're (at worst) 2 games up in our division still. And that's all that matters. Injuries aside (knock on wood), the worst thing that could happen in the next 3 days is not all that bad.
So when we get no-hit in 2 of these 3 games and only score 2 runs total in 27 innings, it'll be OK. When Cliff Lee snaps his scoreless inning streak by giving up 6 runs tomorrow, we can still sleep at night. When John Lackey, who totally sucks this year, shuts us down while Vance Worley flounders against a high-powered Red Sox offense, we will still survive to see Thursday. And when Cole Hamels pitches a no-hitter and we end up losing in extra innings, life will go on. And the Phils will still be in first place.
It would be nice to have a good showing in this series, though, considering the fact that nearly everyone predicted this would be the World Series prior to this season starting. We need to go out and prove that we are a complete baseball team, not just 4 starting pitchers. And I think at this point, it's most important to prove that to ourselves.
Game 1: Josh Beckett (6-2, 1.86 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (8-5, 2.87 ERA)
The Phillies have a ton of experience against Beckett, dating back to when he was with the Marlins. He is a much better pitcher now than he was then, though. He has the lowest ERA of any starting pitcher in baseball. And within all of that experience is not a ton of success. Howard and Utley, though, are both hitting over .300 against them with OPS's up around 1.000. On the flip side, Cliff Lee is facing some scary opponents tomorrow. Most notably Adrian Gonzalez. Gonzalez is hitting .361 this season (best in baseball) with 71 RBI (most in baseball). Those numbers suck compared to what he has done against Lee. He's hitting .700 with a 2.000 OPS. I keep refreshing the website I'm getting these numbers from to make sure they're right. The good news is that we're still in June 2011. Lee is 4-0 with a 0.27 ERA.
Prediction: Red Sox 3 Phillies 2
Keep an eye out for: Gonzalez being a part of every Red Sox run and Utley doing the same for us
Game 2: John Lackey (5-6, 7.36 ERA) vs. Vance Worley (2-1, 2.83 ERA)
This, in theory, is the game in which we can score some runs. It is also, in theory, the game in which the Red Sox can score some runs (along with every other game they play). Lackey has been bad this year. He's given up 8 earned runs or more 3 times. Raul Ibanez is a career .352 hitter against him in a ton of at bats, so you know he's gotta be awful. In all seriousness, he's never been a bad pitcher before this season, but I think he's too often seen as a really good pitcher. He's a pretty consistent winner but nothing spectacular. I have decided to not doubt Vance Worley pitching against any team for the first time. I never have a great feeling about it, but he has come through for us. His biggest problem will be keeping a pitch count down and throwing strikes, especially against a very well-disciplined Red Sox team. I think they are going to take advantage of the baserunners he allows. But hopefully we can take advantage of the mediocrity that is John Lackey.
Prediction: Red Sox 7 Phillies 5
Keep an eye out for: Worley not making it through 5 innings and the Phillies constantly trying to play catch-up but coming up just short.
Game 3: Jon Lester (9-4, 3.66 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (9-4, 2.49 ERA)
What a difference an offense makes. Lester, who is a great pitcher, has an ERA that is well over a full run higher than Hamels, but has the same record. He gets 8.71 runs of support per game (5th in the majors) versus Hamels' 4.66 runs per game (just behind Cliff Lee for 9th worst in the NL). I can't really comment on what we'll do against Lester other than not score very much (because we don't score very much), but I have a good feeling about Hamels in this game (assuming he gets the start and not Kendrick). He is 3-0 with a 1.71 ERA in his career against the Red Sox, and one of my favorite Hamels pitching memories is this game from 2008. The Red Sox came in as a better team than us and the reigning World Series champs, and we stuck it to them behind a strong pitching performance by Hamels. If we lose the first 2, I definitely expect a big showing from him. I also expect Charlie to start him if we lose the first 2.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Red Sox 1
Keep an eye out for: double digit strikeouts by Hamels in 8 innings
What's the worst that could happen?
I would encourage us to keep that question in mind during this upcoming series with the Red Sox. I'm not saying that because I have a negative attitude about it. Don't mistake the theme of this post as negative. I think it's just realistic.
So far, we have played against only AL West teams in interleague play. Generally, they have weak offenses and unspectacular pitching. The Red Sox do not fall into either of those categories at all. They have a very dangerous offense with a starting rotation that, when healthy, is potentially as good as ours. Yes, I mean that.
So let's look at what we can expect from the series. Thus far, the Phils have been just about as good as, probably better than, expected against the American League. Our starters have compiled a 1.84 ERA against them. Fantastic. The bullpen? A 1.76 ERA. We've given up just 65 hits in the 79 innings pitched with just 3 home runs allowed. The staff is holding those opponents to somewhere around a .215 batting average. This is all good news, right? Well...
Our record against the AL is 5-4. That's a winning record! Yay! But it's really not that great if you look at those pitching numbers. We should be probably somewhere around 7-2 at worst with statistics like those. But AL pitchers have a 1.97 ERA against us, holding our hitters to a batting average that is somewhere around .194. We've had just 84 base runners in 77.2 innings. We can't score runs. We can't do it against anyone this season in general, but we seem to definitely not be too into hitting against the American League. Shane Victorino is batting .317 in interleague play, but everyone else is pretty much nowhere close to that. And he missed the series with the Rangers. Obviously, our pitching has kept us alive. This last series, there were a total of 10 runs scored for BOTH teams in 3 games. Ugh. I would hate to have been at the game Friday night. (Oh wait. I was. And I think I slept through 7 innings)
Will this fly against the Red Sox? NO! They are 1st in the MLB in batting average, 1st in runs scored, 1st in on-base percentage, and 2nd in slugging percentage. This is why I'm worried about this series. This is why we need to constantly ask ourselves, "What's the worst that could happen?" Right now, we sit at 5 games up in the NL East and even 2.5 games up in the MLB. So what if we get swept? Not saying we will or we should, but what if we do? We're (at worst) 2 games up in our division still. And that's all that matters. Injuries aside (knock on wood), the worst thing that could happen in the next 3 days is not all that bad.
So when we get no-hit in 2 of these 3 games and only score 2 runs total in 27 innings, it'll be OK. When Cliff Lee snaps his scoreless inning streak by giving up 6 runs tomorrow, we can still sleep at night. When John Lackey, who totally sucks this year, shuts us down while Vance Worley flounders against a high-powered Red Sox offense, we will still survive to see Thursday. And when Cole Hamels pitches a no-hitter and we end up losing in extra innings, life will go on. And the Phils will still be in first place.
It would be nice to have a good showing in this series, though, considering the fact that nearly everyone predicted this would be the World Series prior to this season starting. We need to go out and prove that we are a complete baseball team, not just 4 starting pitchers. And I think at this point, it's most important to prove that to ourselves.
Game 1: Josh Beckett (6-2, 1.86 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (8-5, 2.87 ERA)
The Phillies have a ton of experience against Beckett, dating back to when he was with the Marlins. He is a much better pitcher now than he was then, though. He has the lowest ERA of any starting pitcher in baseball. And within all of that experience is not a ton of success. Howard and Utley, though, are both hitting over .300 against them with OPS's up around 1.000. On the flip side, Cliff Lee is facing some scary opponents tomorrow. Most notably Adrian Gonzalez. Gonzalez is hitting .361 this season (best in baseball) with 71 RBI (most in baseball). Those numbers suck compared to what he has done against Lee. He's hitting .700 with a 2.000 OPS. I keep refreshing the website I'm getting these numbers from to make sure they're right. The good news is that we're still in June 2011. Lee is 4-0 with a 0.27 ERA.
Prediction: Red Sox 3 Phillies 2
Keep an eye out for: Gonzalez being a part of every Red Sox run and Utley doing the same for us
Game 2: John Lackey (5-6, 7.36 ERA) vs. Vance Worley (2-1, 2.83 ERA)
This, in theory, is the game in which we can score some runs. It is also, in theory, the game in which the Red Sox can score some runs (along with every other game they play). Lackey has been bad this year. He's given up 8 earned runs or more 3 times. Raul Ibanez is a career .352 hitter against him in a ton of at bats, so you know he's gotta be awful. In all seriousness, he's never been a bad pitcher before this season, but I think he's too often seen as a really good pitcher. He's a pretty consistent winner but nothing spectacular. I have decided to not doubt Vance Worley pitching against any team for the first time. I never have a great feeling about it, but he has come through for us. His biggest problem will be keeping a pitch count down and throwing strikes, especially against a very well-disciplined Red Sox team. I think they are going to take advantage of the baserunners he allows. But hopefully we can take advantage of the mediocrity that is John Lackey.
Prediction: Red Sox 7 Phillies 5
Keep an eye out for: Worley not making it through 5 innings and the Phillies constantly trying to play catch-up but coming up just short.
Game 3: Jon Lester (9-4, 3.66 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (9-4, 2.49 ERA)
What a difference an offense makes. Lester, who is a great pitcher, has an ERA that is well over a full run higher than Hamels, but has the same record. He gets 8.71 runs of support per game (5th in the majors) versus Hamels' 4.66 runs per game (just behind Cliff Lee for 9th worst in the NL). I can't really comment on what we'll do against Lester other than not score very much (because we don't score very much), but I have a good feeling about Hamels in this game (assuming he gets the start and not Kendrick). He is 3-0 with a 1.71 ERA in his career against the Red Sox, and one of my favorite Hamels pitching memories is this game from 2008. The Red Sox came in as a better team than us and the reigning World Series champs, and we stuck it to them behind a strong pitching performance by Hamels. If we lose the first 2, I definitely expect a big showing from him. I also expect Charlie to start him if we lose the first 2.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Red Sox 1
Keep an eye out for: double digit strikeouts by Hamels in 8 innings
Friday, June 24, 2011
A's Preview
Can I first just say how annoying it is to play the Oakland baseball team simply for terminology purposes? Am I supposed to call them the Athletics? Cause that sounds stupid. But saying the A's creates all kinds of problems. Like if I want to say how good their starting pitchers are, how am I supposed to do that? I never really understood any grammar/punctuation rules for words that end in "s," and this one is simply a disaster.
The A's starting pitchers are really good.
This one bothers me because I'm changing absolutely nothing about the original word (or whatever you wanna call it). Isn't this cheating? I just type "A's" as I normally would?
The A's' starting pitchers are really good.
This one is so weird because if I look at it too much it looks like I'm just putting single quotes (whatever the crap they are) around an s that is next to an A. Did you understand the description I just gave of what I'm seeing? Because I barely did. This team is making me question my ability to write altogether.
The A's's starting pitchers are really good.
OK now I'm just typing "Ass" but separating it with apostrophes. And I know there's no way that is right.
And then you get to actually pronounce that idiotic possessive noun and you sound like my dad trying to say the name of a local supermarket. Landis's's's's's's's's. Clemens's's's's's's's (RIP). Maybe this problem just runs in the family. Thanks a lot for the extremely awkward and rare speech impediment, father.
I think what I'm trying to say here, though, is that Oakland has really good starting pitching. It seems like they always manage to have really good starting pitching, dating back to when their rotation included Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder, and Barry Zito (when ALL of them were actually good, not just one). Cory Lidle was also on a team with those guys, keeping an ERA below 4 while everyone was juicing hardcore. They also had Ted Lilly around for a little, and he has been a solid starter throughout his career. Rich Harden, Joe Blanton, and Dan Haren are a few more names that have come through Oakland and been a part of big deadline deals over the years.
And now, their rotation (without injury) would include Trevor Cahill, Brett Anderson, Dallas Braden, and Gio Gonzalez. You probably have heard of maybe one of those guys because Braden threw a perfect game on Mother's Day last season (only to be shown up a few weeks later by Halladay). What you may not know, though, is that Braden is probably the worst of those 4. He and Brett Anderson are injured, though, so they don't really matter. And if we were playing these guys in August, none of them would matter because they'd most likely all be traded to contending teams. If there's one thing the A's love, it's trading away any sign of a good player. As fun as trades are, I would imagine that's a pretty tough team to be a fan of.
An annoying part of this series: Having to see Hideki Matsui again. I hate that guy.
Game 1: Guillermo Moscoso (2-3, 3.30 ERA) vs. Vance Worley (2-1, 3.41 ERA)
There is very very little experience in this game. Moscoso has made 5 starts in his career, all this season. Worley has 7 career starts and only 2 prior to this season. Neither pitcher has pitched more than 6 1/3 innings in a game this season, so this game may be more of a bullpen-type game. Let's just hope the bullpen we see includes Stutes, Bastardo, and Madson rather than Baez, Baez, or Baez. This game could either be a home run derby or a pitchers' duel. Knowing how our offense works, and knowing essentially no one on the A's (ugh) offense, I think I'll go with the latter. I'll be attending this game, so look for me catching foul balls somewhere along the first base line, 35 rows up.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Athletics 1
Keep an eye out for: all of those runs coming in the first 2 innings and things getting pretty snoozy after that
Game 2: Trevor Cahill (7-5, 3.24 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (9-3, 2.51 ERA)
Last season, in his 2nd season in the majors, Cahill went 18-8 with a 2.97 ERA. On a playoff team, that's a Cy Young season. On the A's, I guess it's not much. He doesn't strike a lot of guys out, he'll walk his fair share of people, he gives up a decent amount of home runs, and he didn't get to 200 innings last season. Cahill is nothing special, except he just doesn't let the other team score. I guess that's why we never really hear about him.
As for Cole Hamels, I feel like we haven't heard enough about him this year either. Right now, he should probably be the NL starter for the All-Star Game. He is 3rd in ERA and 1st in wins. He has 13 quality starts in 15 starts, good for the 2nd best percentage. He has the second best strikeout-to-walk ratio and is 10th in strikeouts per 9 innings. His WHIP (walks and hits per innings pitched) is the best in the league at 0.93. That basically means he averages less than one baserunner per inning, the only pitcher in the NL who can say that. His biggest issue in the past? Fly balls. He's now 6th in groundball-flyball ratio. You think Roy Halladay is better? Well, it's close. So close, in fact, that their records and ERAs are currently the same. The difference? It's an expectation with Halladay. Hamels was our number 4 starter coming into the season. We expect him to be good, but we don't expect him to be Halladay. Or Lee. Or Oswalt. But he's just as good or better than all of them.
Prediction: Phillies 4 Athletics 2
Keep an eye out for: offense. I don't anticipate much of it in this series (as a matter of fact, I don't even mention any offensive players in these game breakdowns), and the 6 runs I'm predicting here may very well be the most we see in a game. We may only see 6 runs the whole weekend.
Game 3: Josh Outman (3-1, 2.86 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (9-3, 2.51 ERA)
If the name Josh Outman looks familiar to you at all, it may be because he was a part of the trade for Joe Blanton. We gave him, Adrian Cardenas, and Matt Spencer to the A's for Joe the Pitcher back in 2008. Looking at his numbers, that may seem unfortunate at this point because of how bad Blanton was this year in his starts, but let's not forget what he did for us in '08. He went 4-0 with the Phils as well as 2-0 in the playoffs. And, oh by the way, he got a win and hit a home run in Game 4 of the World Series (if you didn't remember, we won that World Series). Those other guys involved in the trade have done nothing in the majors, and Outman has done nothing spectacular thus far. His numbers have been solid this season in limited starts, but he is 2-0 in his last 2 starts with a 0.69 ERA. I don't like that he is coming in pitching well, but he's young and that can change. Plus he's facing Halladay. This should end up being a good game, and I have to stick with my Halladay prediction until it's right.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Athletics 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay throwing his first complete game shutout of the season. This will happen at some point
The A's starting pitchers are really good.
This one bothers me because I'm changing absolutely nothing about the original word (or whatever you wanna call it). Isn't this cheating? I just type "A's" as I normally would?
The A's' starting pitchers are really good.
This one is so weird because if I look at it too much it looks like I'm just putting single quotes (whatever the crap they are) around an s that is next to an A. Did you understand the description I just gave of what I'm seeing? Because I barely did. This team is making me question my ability to write altogether.
The A's's starting pitchers are really good.
OK now I'm just typing "Ass" but separating it with apostrophes. And I know there's no way that is right.
And then you get to actually pronounce that idiotic possessive noun and you sound like my dad trying to say the name of a local supermarket. Landis's's's's's's's's. Clemens's's's's's's's (RIP). Maybe this problem just runs in the family. Thanks a lot for the extremely awkward and rare speech impediment, father.
I think what I'm trying to say here, though, is that Oakland has really good starting pitching. It seems like they always manage to have really good starting pitching, dating back to when their rotation included Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder, and Barry Zito (when ALL of them were actually good, not just one). Cory Lidle was also on a team with those guys, keeping an ERA below 4 while everyone was juicing hardcore. They also had Ted Lilly around for a little, and he has been a solid starter throughout his career. Rich Harden, Joe Blanton, and Dan Haren are a few more names that have come through Oakland and been a part of big deadline deals over the years.
And now, their rotation (without injury) would include Trevor Cahill, Brett Anderson, Dallas Braden, and Gio Gonzalez. You probably have heard of maybe one of those guys because Braden threw a perfect game on Mother's Day last season (only to be shown up a few weeks later by Halladay). What you may not know, though, is that Braden is probably the worst of those 4. He and Brett Anderson are injured, though, so they don't really matter. And if we were playing these guys in August, none of them would matter because they'd most likely all be traded to contending teams. If there's one thing the A's love, it's trading away any sign of a good player. As fun as trades are, I would imagine that's a pretty tough team to be a fan of.
An annoying part of this series: Having to see Hideki Matsui again. I hate that guy.
Game 1: Guillermo Moscoso (2-3, 3.30 ERA) vs. Vance Worley (2-1, 3.41 ERA)
There is very very little experience in this game. Moscoso has made 5 starts in his career, all this season. Worley has 7 career starts and only 2 prior to this season. Neither pitcher has pitched more than 6 1/3 innings in a game this season, so this game may be more of a bullpen-type game. Let's just hope the bullpen we see includes Stutes, Bastardo, and Madson rather than Baez, Baez, or Baez. This game could either be a home run derby or a pitchers' duel. Knowing how our offense works, and knowing essentially no one on the A's (ugh) offense, I think I'll go with the latter. I'll be attending this game, so look for me catching foul balls somewhere along the first base line, 35 rows up.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Athletics 1
Keep an eye out for: all of those runs coming in the first 2 innings and things getting pretty snoozy after that
Game 2: Trevor Cahill (7-5, 3.24 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (9-3, 2.51 ERA)
Last season, in his 2nd season in the majors, Cahill went 18-8 with a 2.97 ERA. On a playoff team, that's a Cy Young season. On the A's, I guess it's not much. He doesn't strike a lot of guys out, he'll walk his fair share of people, he gives up a decent amount of home runs, and he didn't get to 200 innings last season. Cahill is nothing special, except he just doesn't let the other team score. I guess that's why we never really hear about him.
As for Cole Hamels, I feel like we haven't heard enough about him this year either. Right now, he should probably be the NL starter for the All-Star Game. He is 3rd in ERA and 1st in wins. He has 13 quality starts in 15 starts, good for the 2nd best percentage. He has the second best strikeout-to-walk ratio and is 10th in strikeouts per 9 innings. His WHIP (walks and hits per innings pitched) is the best in the league at 0.93. That basically means he averages less than one baserunner per inning, the only pitcher in the NL who can say that. His biggest issue in the past? Fly balls. He's now 6th in groundball-flyball ratio. You think Roy Halladay is better? Well, it's close. So close, in fact, that their records and ERAs are currently the same. The difference? It's an expectation with Halladay. Hamels was our number 4 starter coming into the season. We expect him to be good, but we don't expect him to be Halladay. Or Lee. Or Oswalt. But he's just as good or better than all of them.
Prediction: Phillies 4 Athletics 2
Keep an eye out for: offense. I don't anticipate much of it in this series (as a matter of fact, I don't even mention any offensive players in these game breakdowns), and the 6 runs I'm predicting here may very well be the most we see in a game. We may only see 6 runs the whole weekend.
Game 3: Josh Outman (3-1, 2.86 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (9-3, 2.51 ERA)
If the name Josh Outman looks familiar to you at all, it may be because he was a part of the trade for Joe Blanton. We gave him, Adrian Cardenas, and Matt Spencer to the A's for Joe the Pitcher back in 2008. Looking at his numbers, that may seem unfortunate at this point because of how bad Blanton was this year in his starts, but let's not forget what he did for us in '08. He went 4-0 with the Phils as well as 2-0 in the playoffs. And, oh by the way, he got a win and hit a home run in Game 4 of the World Series (if you didn't remember, we won that World Series). Those other guys involved in the trade have done nothing in the majors, and Outman has done nothing spectacular thus far. His numbers have been solid this season in limited starts, but he is 2-0 in his last 2 starts with a 0.69 ERA. I don't like that he is coming in pitching well, but he's young and that can change. Plus he's facing Halladay. This should end up being a good game, and I have to stick with my Halladay prediction until it's right.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Athletics 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay throwing his first complete game shutout of the season. This will happen at some point
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Cardinals Preview
Before the preview, let me just say that I had a blast writing that last 2-part Male Bag, and I have gotten great responses, new readers, and already a few questions for the next edition. What took me so long to start doing the Male Bag?
In the last Cardinals preview, I focused completely on Ryan Howard and his success against his hometown team. Well, he managed to go 0 for 5 in those 2 games with 3 walks and 3 strikeouts. The problem with that series is that it occurred in Philadelphia, though. Howard kills people in St. Louis (similar to far too many people in St. Louis), and we can plan to see that once again over the next few days. Although I said this before, it's worth repeating. In St. Louis, The Big Man is hitting .388 with 8 home runs, 21 RBI, and a 1.257 OPS in 21 games. These next 3 games should do nothing but add to those numbers. We hope
Meanwhile, the star first baseman that we were supposed to be facing in this series will not be around. Albert Pujols (along with my fantasy team) suffered a sprained right wrist over the weekend and will miss 4-6 weeks. I can't say I'm excited about him missing 4-6 weeks, but the next 3 days will at least be nice. He actually hasn't done that much damage against the Phils in his career, with only a .270 average, but the bottom line is he has the potential to single-handedly win any game for the Cardinals.
One sad thing about this series: the lack of flashbacks to the most hilarious moment in sports history, when Albert Pujols nearly ended Brad Lidge's career with the longest home run in recorded history. The ball landed somewhere in the panhandle of Oklahoma. With Lidge being out for both series' that we played the Cardinals in this season, and Pujols being out for this one, there is little to no chance we get to see this video on television this year. What a sad, sad day.
Another thing about Albert Pujols. He is one of those people who had no choice but to be the most athletic person in history. His last name is Pujols. Every once in a while you come across an athlete with a horrible horrible name that makes them worthy of countless bathroom stall beatings throughout their entire elementary, middle, and high school lives. They hope to one day marry someone with an awesome last name like "Diesel" or "Rockhammer" or something like that and then voluntarily change their name. They can never hope of one day making a list of The 9 Manliest Names in the World. Instead, they must figure out at an early age that sports are their greatest line of defense against a harsh world of awkwardly large kids without friends who want a reason to become a bully and pick on just about anyone else. So, hopefully, they can end up on a list more like this one or this one. Although the names are embarrassing, a 4.3 40-yard dash, 44-inch vertical leap, or 450-foot home run will quickly replace that laughter with pure awe. Congrats, Poo Holes. It took me about 4 or 5 seasons of you crushing big-league pitching to realize how awful your last name is.
Game 1: Roy Halladay (9-3, 2.56 ERA) vs. Kyle McClellan (6-3, 3.96 ERA)
McClellan has good numbers against our current roster, holding us to a .138 batting average in the just 29 career at bats we have against him. That type of experience is a good thing. It means we've basically seen him once and did nothing against him. This is normal, but now that we have the experience, we should be ready to unleash. Halladay has great career numbers against the Cardinals (2-0, 1.13 ERA), and he'll be looking to pick up his league-leading 10th win tonight.
Howard factor: 1 for 2 against McClellan with that 1 being a home run
Prediction: Phillies 7 Cardinals 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay's first shutout of the season. I will now predict this in every one of his starts until it happens. This is getting old, Roy.
Game 2: Cliff Lee (7-5, 3.12 ERA) vs. Kyle Lohse (7-3, 2.88 ERA)
First of all, Kyle Lohse needs to take a look at his last name and figure out how to pronounce it. It's almost like he is dyslexic and decides to pronounce it Loesh. It's spelled L-O-H-S-E, bud. It should sound something more like Lowse (or, ya know, Lohse?). Now that I got that off my chest, can I just say that it's annoying how good he is? He has never been this good. Why now? Steroids, that's why! (No, not serious) We have decent career numbers against him and should be able to build upon them in this game. Our offense has been much better lately, and I expect Howard to spark us throughout this series. Lee should also look MUCH better than his first start against the Cards this year, when he walked 6. Gross.
Howard factor: 6 for 13 against Lohse with 1 home run and 6 RBI
Prediction: Phillies 6 Cardinals 2
Keep an eye out for: Domonic Brown going deep against Lohse. A right-handed pitcher he's never seen before. I interpret Dom's lack of experience against people as a "I'm too stupid to know any better, I'll just hit the ball really hard." And every time he is up to bat I swear he's gonna hit the ball into the next county.
Game 3: Roy Oswalt (4-5, 3.38 ERA) vs. Chris Carpenter (1-7, 4.47 ERA)
OK, so Roy Oswalt has to get going at some point, right?? I feel like I've said this for each of his past 5 starts, and nothing consistent has come up. What better time to start (a phrase that is getting all too familiar) than against a fellow struggling star pitcher? Carpenter has been shockingly bad this season. In an era where an ERA above 3 is basically average at this point, Carpenter is up at 4.47. Let's hope his struggles continue against us and we don't see the dominant Carpenter of the past 5 seasons. And let's hope we see a good Oswalt. The average Oswalt is getting old to me. Unfortunately, I don't know that we can count on that.
Howard factor: 1 for 6 against Carpenter with a home run.
Prediction: Cardinals 4 Phillies 2
Keep an eye out for: the dominant Carpenter of the past 5 seasons and the average Oswalt. Ugh.
In the last Cardinals preview, I focused completely on Ryan Howard and his success against his hometown team. Well, he managed to go 0 for 5 in those 2 games with 3 walks and 3 strikeouts. The problem with that series is that it occurred in Philadelphia, though. Howard kills people in St. Louis (similar to far too many people in St. Louis), and we can plan to see that once again over the next few days. Although I said this before, it's worth repeating. In St. Louis, The Big Man is hitting .388 with 8 home runs, 21 RBI, and a 1.257 OPS in 21 games. These next 3 games should do nothing but add to those numbers. We hope
Meanwhile, the star first baseman that we were supposed to be facing in this series will not be around. Albert Pujols (along with my fantasy team) suffered a sprained right wrist over the weekend and will miss 4-6 weeks. I can't say I'm excited about him missing 4-6 weeks, but the next 3 days will at least be nice. He actually hasn't done that much damage against the Phils in his career, with only a .270 average, but the bottom line is he has the potential to single-handedly win any game for the Cardinals.
One sad thing about this series: the lack of flashbacks to the most hilarious moment in sports history, when Albert Pujols nearly ended Brad Lidge's career with the longest home run in recorded history. The ball landed somewhere in the panhandle of Oklahoma. With Lidge being out for both series' that we played the Cardinals in this season, and Pujols being out for this one, there is little to no chance we get to see this video on television this year. What a sad, sad day.
Another thing about Albert Pujols. He is one of those people who had no choice but to be the most athletic person in history. His last name is Pujols. Every once in a while you come across an athlete with a horrible horrible name that makes them worthy of countless bathroom stall beatings throughout their entire elementary, middle, and high school lives. They hope to one day marry someone with an awesome last name like "Diesel" or "Rockhammer" or something like that and then voluntarily change their name. They can never hope of one day making a list of The 9 Manliest Names in the World. Instead, they must figure out at an early age that sports are their greatest line of defense against a harsh world of awkwardly large kids without friends who want a reason to become a bully and pick on just about anyone else. So, hopefully, they can end up on a list more like this one or this one. Although the names are embarrassing, a 4.3 40-yard dash, 44-inch vertical leap, or 450-foot home run will quickly replace that laughter with pure awe. Congrats, Poo Holes. It took me about 4 or 5 seasons of you crushing big-league pitching to realize how awful your last name is.
Game 1: Roy Halladay (9-3, 2.56 ERA) vs. Kyle McClellan (6-3, 3.96 ERA)
McClellan has good numbers against our current roster, holding us to a .138 batting average in the just 29 career at bats we have against him. That type of experience is a good thing. It means we've basically seen him once and did nothing against him. This is normal, but now that we have the experience, we should be ready to unleash. Halladay has great career numbers against the Cardinals (2-0, 1.13 ERA), and he'll be looking to pick up his league-leading 10th win tonight.
Howard factor: 1 for 2 against McClellan with that 1 being a home run
Prediction: Phillies 7 Cardinals 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay's first shutout of the season. I will now predict this in every one of his starts until it happens. This is getting old, Roy.
Game 2: Cliff Lee (7-5, 3.12 ERA) vs. Kyle Lohse (7-3, 2.88 ERA)
First of all, Kyle Lohse needs to take a look at his last name and figure out how to pronounce it. It's almost like he is dyslexic and decides to pronounce it Loesh. It's spelled L-O-H-S-E, bud. It should sound something more like Lowse (or, ya know, Lohse?). Now that I got that off my chest, can I just say that it's annoying how good he is? He has never been this good. Why now? Steroids, that's why! (No, not serious) We have decent career numbers against him and should be able to build upon them in this game. Our offense has been much better lately, and I expect Howard to spark us throughout this series. Lee should also look MUCH better than his first start against the Cards this year, when he walked 6. Gross.
Howard factor: 6 for 13 against Lohse with 1 home run and 6 RBI
Prediction: Phillies 6 Cardinals 2
Keep an eye out for: Domonic Brown going deep against Lohse. A right-handed pitcher he's never seen before. I interpret Dom's lack of experience against people as a "I'm too stupid to know any better, I'll just hit the ball really hard." And every time he is up to bat I swear he's gonna hit the ball into the next county.
Game 3: Roy Oswalt (4-5, 3.38 ERA) vs. Chris Carpenter (1-7, 4.47 ERA)
OK, so Roy Oswalt has to get going at some point, right?? I feel like I've said this for each of his past 5 starts, and nothing consistent has come up. What better time to start (a phrase that is getting all too familiar) than against a fellow struggling star pitcher? Carpenter has been shockingly bad this season. In an era where an ERA above 3 is basically average at this point, Carpenter is up at 4.47. Let's hope his struggles continue against us and we don't see the dominant Carpenter of the past 5 seasons. And let's hope we see a good Oswalt. The average Oswalt is getting old to me. Unfortunately, I don't know that we can count on that.
Howard factor: 1 for 6 against Carpenter with a home run.
Prediction: Cardinals 4 Phillies 2
Keep an eye out for: the dominant Carpenter of the past 5 seasons and the average Oswalt. Ugh.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Male Bag: Volume III (Part 2)
This is the second installment of the third Male Bag. For the first installment, you can probably just scroll down. Or else you can click here. Yesterday had a distinct feeling of hatred toward the broadcast team. Today, we can focus more on the baseball team (for the most part)
Do you carry around business cards with the blog URL on them?
No, I unfortunately do not. Although, this is something that I should definitely look into. I imagine it would increase the chances of my blog becoming famous and me never having to work another day in my life. It's always flattering to get these types of questions from people. I know you're not serious, but it still is a nice reminder that people actually appreciate what I'm doing. Does anyone know where I can get business cards made up? Anyone want to design one? In the meantime, just tell your friends.
How do you feel about Wilson Valdez?
The answer to this question has changed drastically in the past month. I now, obviously, love Wilson Valdez and always will. He helped to get Phillies second basemen this season a win on the mound before they could hit a homerun. That's quite the impressive feat. He's been great at filling in for us over the past year, and I love him for that. I used to hate him, though, because of his tendency to ground into double plays. How often does he ground into a double play? Here's a true story from the Phils-Rangers game I went to this season: Valdez is up with 1 out and a runner on first. He hits a ground ball to the second baseman. The play is over and the Phanatic starts riding his four-wheeler out into the outfield. The rightfielder had to tell the Phanatic to go back because Wilson actually beat out the throw. Even the Phanatic has no faith in him. Here's a not-so-true story. Wilson Valdez once grounded into a double play with no one on base and 2 outs. Let's just say, he does it all the time. My mom has also pointed out many times that he bears a striking to Wilson the volleyball from the movie Castaway. Although a picture doesn't necessarily do it justice, pay attention next time they show his face. I agree with her.
How did you like PNC Park?
PNC Park is arguably the nicest ballpark in the country. And why not? The Pirates should at least have something going for them. Seriously, though, it is a great park. They have a lot more interesting things going on throughout a game than at The Cit. I guess when you win games, you don't need much else to get people to come out. Did you know the Pirates have Free Shirt Fridays? Every single Friday home game, you get a free Pirates t-shirt. How awesome is that? And the ticket will cost you something like 9 bucks. That's not even fair. Not to mention they have a Primanti Bros. inside the park. That's enough to make it the best park in the country.
How many first and second inning homers has Blanton given up?
The answer to this question actually shocked me. First of all, he's only given up 4 this season total. Of course, that's in just 34 innings. Compare that with Hamels' 5 homers in 104 innings and it looks like he sucks. It looks that way, though, mostly because he does. Let's not forget that. Of those 4 home runs though, only 2 have come in the first or second inning, and actually both were in the first. They also both occurred in his last start this season. So the reason this question was asked is probably because it was fresh in our minds. Blanton still bites though, and it's good to have him on the DL. (For the record, though, I think that Blanton would turn things around if he were to stay healthy. He has a knack for coming on strong as the season progresses.)
Since we all know that The Hangover is not the greatest thing to happen to the comedy genre, in your awesome opinion...what is?
This is something that was mentioned in the intro to the original Male Bag. And this is an easy question for me to answer. Dumb & Dumber. Without a doubt. I have always felt that it is one of the only true comedies. It never has that "Big Daddy Moment." What is a Big Daddy Moment? Glad you asked. It’s a term I came up with to describe that part in any comedy that can be compared to the moment in the movie Big Daddy when the kid is taken away by social services and even him yelling “I wipe my own ass” can’t make you even crack a smile unless you’re heartless or have some odd condition in which it is physically impossible for you to not be smiling. Kill me. Dumb & Dumber keeps things light the whole time. And all of this while still having a plot. Yes, there are movies that involve not a single serious moment, or their serious moments are overshadowed by the comedy put into them, but most of them are not even attempts at real movies, they are just movie spoofs or something like that. I’m not saying that Dumb & Dumber has the greatest or most complex plot in the world, but it does have one. And speaking of movies, apparently I've become some sort of expert movie critic through this blog as well...
How do you feel about the upcoming blockbuster hit Mr. Popper's Penguins?
First of all, this question made me "l o l" in the most literal interpretation of the acronym. Can I take this question seriously? I know that I'm not supposed to. Can I take this movie seriously? Can Jim Carrey take himself seriously? I mean, look at this movie poster. This is a real movie that Jim Carrey, star of the greatest comedy of all time, has decided would be a good career move. The movie is rated PG, which I didn't even know existed anymore. It gets 5.8 stars out of 10 on IMDB.com, which is basically like getting a C in my class, which is basically like getting a J in any other class... or some letter way below failing*. Apparently the plot of this movie includes Jim Carrey inheriting 6 penguins while living in a city. Can you imagine the wacky hijinks that ensue?!?! Spoiler alert: I bet they are extra wacky, and super awful
Mr. Koehler, you know everything...Why do baseball coaches wear uniforms?
This question was clearly asked by a student that I don't have in one of my actual classes (see footnote again). Without really knowing, the answer I gave to this kid was that a lot of managers were also players back in the day so they obviously had to wear uniforms. I told them that was a guess because I didn't really know. While that aspect is somewhat true, the real reason today is that the different coaches for a baseball team are required to be on the field at one point or another. The first base coach, the third base coach, the pitching coach, and the manager will all be on the field of play at some point throughout the game usually. That is not the case with any other sport. It is in the rule book that managers must wear uniforms.
Reyes or Jeter?
My good friend Dert and I went out for a beer Friday night, and we started playing some game where you just give the other person 2 options and they answer without really thinking, and I guess that is supposed to be the one they prefer. It's a weird game because I figured out I usually just say the second one either way, and then I change my answer 2 seconds later. At some point, though, Dert asked me the aforementioned question. Jeter was my answer and I stuck with it. And I will forever. I absolutely hate Jose Reyes. I hate him more than I hate the Phillies broadcast team. He is such whiny piece of crap who has no idea how to actually win baseball games. If he gets a hit or does something good, he celebrates like it's his first career everything and he's getting inducted into the Hall of Fame tomorrow. If he gets out, he complains and cries almost as if he's a Mets fan. Which he is not, because if he was, he would actually try to help them win. If I hear one more person talk about trading Rollins for Reyes, I will throw a chair. Rollins hates the Mets to his very core. Reyes probably doesn't give a crap because he only really knows how to like himself. He's everything that's wrong with the Mets - someone who should be awesome, has shown that he can be awesome, but can never actually do anything about it when it matters. I don't want a loser on my team. Jose Reyes is a loser. He does not win. He is someone who loses. A loser. Jimmy Rollins wins because that's what you're supposed to want to do as a professional athlete. I'll take Jimmy all day every day forever over Jose Reyes. If the Phillies get Jose Reyes, I will not watch a single game that he plays in.
I LOVE Stutes
So do I. He is one of the minor league players I have kept an eye on over the past few seasons, and it is nice to see him developing into a reliable reliever. Sometimes it is disappointing to not see those guys become starters, but the Phillies often make me realize that a bullpen is just as important as a starting rotation (not true at all, but go with me on this). Stutes and Bastardo are two players that I have loved for the past 2 or 3 seasons, and it makes me feel justified in choosing the youngins that I do seeing them maintain close leads game after game.
We should get into throwing the baseball
Playing catch is one of the most counter-productive things I can imagine at this point in my life. I understand the value it has for a young child, but as you get older, does it not just get boring? So I don't necessarily have a problem with throwing a baseball, I just think it is unbelievable to act like there is any type of challenge in throwing a tiny ball back and forth 20 yards and using a glove 5 times its size to catch it. How is it made interesting then? Create some type of challenge. Find a fence that you can use to practice robbing home runs. Throw the ball in a fashion that forces diving catches rather than just standing in one spot. Set up targets and try to hit them from far away. All viable options for throwing a baseball. A standard game of catch, though? Not for me.
What happened to Mayberry?
The coaching staff went insane is what happened to Mayberry. On June 5, Mayberry was sent down to Triple-A. Since that time, Ben Francisco and Michael Martinez (the people left up above him) are 6 for 29 with 0 RBI and one extra-base hit. WHAT ARE WE DOING??? I won't bring up Raul because I know we are not getting rid of him, and that is too frustrating to think about. But Francisco and Martinez have done NOTHING for us this season since the 2nd week of April. What is the benefit of having them play over Mayberry? I semi-understand trying to get him at bats daily down in Lehigh Valley, but I'd rather just keep him up and use him as a pinch hitter and have him play something like once a series since Ibanez bites. Is this so much to ask?
I just read your Braves recap. How can we get Uncle Chuck to start reading your blog?
Oh, stop. You're going to make me blush. My readers...too kind!
You, sir, are looking like you know what you are talking about
What'd I just say? Honestly, this is almost embarrassing. Look at how red my face is!
*For legal purposes and possible backlash when an administrator somewhere reads this, let me state for the record that I take my job as an educator very seriously, and I do not feel in any way that I give out grades that students have not earned. Did I really have to do this? Wow, what a buzzkill.
Do you carry around business cards with the blog URL on them?
No, I unfortunately do not. Although, this is something that I should definitely look into. I imagine it would increase the chances of my blog becoming famous and me never having to work another day in my life. It's always flattering to get these types of questions from people. I know you're not serious, but it still is a nice reminder that people actually appreciate what I'm doing. Does anyone know where I can get business cards made up? Anyone want to design one? In the meantime, just tell your friends.
How do you feel about Wilson Valdez?
The answer to this question has changed drastically in the past month. I now, obviously, love Wilson Valdez and always will. He helped to get Phillies second basemen this season a win on the mound before they could hit a homerun. That's quite the impressive feat. He's been great at filling in for us over the past year, and I love him for that. I used to hate him, though, because of his tendency to ground into double plays. How often does he ground into a double play? Here's a true story from the Phils-Rangers game I went to this season: Valdez is up with 1 out and a runner on first. He hits a ground ball to the second baseman. The play is over and the Phanatic starts riding his four-wheeler out into the outfield. The rightfielder had to tell the Phanatic to go back because Wilson actually beat out the throw. Even the Phanatic has no faith in him. Here's a not-so-true story. Wilson Valdez once grounded into a double play with no one on base and 2 outs. Let's just say, he does it all the time. My mom has also pointed out many times that he bears a striking to Wilson the volleyball from the movie Castaway. Although a picture doesn't necessarily do it justice, pay attention next time they show his face. I agree with her.
How did you like PNC Park?
PNC Park is arguably the nicest ballpark in the country. And why not? The Pirates should at least have something going for them. Seriously, though, it is a great park. They have a lot more interesting things going on throughout a game than at The Cit. I guess when you win games, you don't need much else to get people to come out. Did you know the Pirates have Free Shirt Fridays? Every single Friday home game, you get a free Pirates t-shirt. How awesome is that? And the ticket will cost you something like 9 bucks. That's not even fair. Not to mention they have a Primanti Bros. inside the park. That's enough to make it the best park in the country.
How many first and second inning homers has Blanton given up?
The answer to this question actually shocked me. First of all, he's only given up 4 this season total. Of course, that's in just 34 innings. Compare that with Hamels' 5 homers in 104 innings and it looks like he sucks. It looks that way, though, mostly because he does. Let's not forget that. Of those 4 home runs though, only 2 have come in the first or second inning, and actually both were in the first. They also both occurred in his last start this season. So the reason this question was asked is probably because it was fresh in our minds. Blanton still bites though, and it's good to have him on the DL. (For the record, though, I think that Blanton would turn things around if he were to stay healthy. He has a knack for coming on strong as the season progresses.)
Since we all know that The Hangover is not the greatest thing to happen to the comedy genre, in your awesome opinion...what is?
This is something that was mentioned in the intro to the original Male Bag. And this is an easy question for me to answer. Dumb & Dumber. Without a doubt. I have always felt that it is one of the only true comedies. It never has that "Big Daddy Moment." What is a Big Daddy Moment? Glad you asked. It’s a term I came up with to describe that part in any comedy that can be compared to the moment in the movie Big Daddy when the kid is taken away by social services and even him yelling “I wipe my own ass” can’t make you even crack a smile unless you’re heartless or have some odd condition in which it is physically impossible for you to not be smiling. Kill me. Dumb & Dumber keeps things light the whole time. And all of this while still having a plot. Yes, there are movies that involve not a single serious moment, or their serious moments are overshadowed by the comedy put into them, but most of them are not even attempts at real movies, they are just movie spoofs or something like that. I’m not saying that Dumb & Dumber has the greatest or most complex plot in the world, but it does have one. And speaking of movies, apparently I've become some sort of expert movie critic through this blog as well...
How do you feel about the upcoming blockbuster hit Mr. Popper's Penguins?
First of all, this question made me "l o l" in the most literal interpretation of the acronym. Can I take this question seriously? I know that I'm not supposed to. Can I take this movie seriously? Can Jim Carrey take himself seriously? I mean, look at this movie poster. This is a real movie that Jim Carrey, star of the greatest comedy of all time, has decided would be a good career move. The movie is rated PG, which I didn't even know existed anymore. It gets 5.8 stars out of 10 on IMDB.com, which is basically like getting a C in my class, which is basically like getting a J in any other class... or some letter way below failing*. Apparently the plot of this movie includes Jim Carrey inheriting 6 penguins while living in a city. Can you imagine the wacky hijinks that ensue?!?! Spoiler alert: I bet they are extra wacky, and super awful
Mr. Koehler, you know everything...Why do baseball coaches wear uniforms?
This question was clearly asked by a student that I don't have in one of my actual classes (see footnote again). Without really knowing, the answer I gave to this kid was that a lot of managers were also players back in the day so they obviously had to wear uniforms. I told them that was a guess because I didn't really know. While that aspect is somewhat true, the real reason today is that the different coaches for a baseball team are required to be on the field at one point or another. The first base coach, the third base coach, the pitching coach, and the manager will all be on the field of play at some point throughout the game usually. That is not the case with any other sport. It is in the rule book that managers must wear uniforms.
Reyes or Jeter?
My good friend Dert and I went out for a beer Friday night, and we started playing some game where you just give the other person 2 options and they answer without really thinking, and I guess that is supposed to be the one they prefer. It's a weird game because I figured out I usually just say the second one either way, and then I change my answer 2 seconds later. At some point, though, Dert asked me the aforementioned question. Jeter was my answer and I stuck with it. And I will forever. I absolutely hate Jose Reyes. I hate him more than I hate the Phillies broadcast team. He is such whiny piece of crap who has no idea how to actually win baseball games. If he gets a hit or does something good, he celebrates like it's his first career everything and he's getting inducted into the Hall of Fame tomorrow. If he gets out, he complains and cries almost as if he's a Mets fan. Which he is not, because if he was, he would actually try to help them win. If I hear one more person talk about trading Rollins for Reyes, I will throw a chair. Rollins hates the Mets to his very core. Reyes probably doesn't give a crap because he only really knows how to like himself. He's everything that's wrong with the Mets - someone who should be awesome, has shown that he can be awesome, but can never actually do anything about it when it matters. I don't want a loser on my team. Jose Reyes is a loser. He does not win. He is someone who loses. A loser. Jimmy Rollins wins because that's what you're supposed to want to do as a professional athlete. I'll take Jimmy all day every day forever over Jose Reyes. If the Phillies get Jose Reyes, I will not watch a single game that he plays in.
I LOVE Stutes
So do I. He is one of the minor league players I have kept an eye on over the past few seasons, and it is nice to see him developing into a reliable reliever. Sometimes it is disappointing to not see those guys become starters, but the Phillies often make me realize that a bullpen is just as important as a starting rotation (not true at all, but go with me on this). Stutes and Bastardo are two players that I have loved for the past 2 or 3 seasons, and it makes me feel justified in choosing the youngins that I do seeing them maintain close leads game after game.
We should get into throwing the baseball
Playing catch is one of the most counter-productive things I can imagine at this point in my life. I understand the value it has for a young child, but as you get older, does it not just get boring? So I don't necessarily have a problem with throwing a baseball, I just think it is unbelievable to act like there is any type of challenge in throwing a tiny ball back and forth 20 yards and using a glove 5 times its size to catch it. How is it made interesting then? Create some type of challenge. Find a fence that you can use to practice robbing home runs. Throw the ball in a fashion that forces diving catches rather than just standing in one spot. Set up targets and try to hit them from far away. All viable options for throwing a baseball. A standard game of catch, though? Not for me.
What happened to Mayberry?
The coaching staff went insane is what happened to Mayberry. On June 5, Mayberry was sent down to Triple-A. Since that time, Ben Francisco and Michael Martinez (the people left up above him) are 6 for 29 with 0 RBI and one extra-base hit. WHAT ARE WE DOING??? I won't bring up Raul because I know we are not getting rid of him, and that is too frustrating to think about. But Francisco and Martinez have done NOTHING for us this season since the 2nd week of April. What is the benefit of having them play over Mayberry? I semi-understand trying to get him at bats daily down in Lehigh Valley, but I'd rather just keep him up and use him as a pinch hitter and have him play something like once a series since Ibanez bites. Is this so much to ask?
I just read your Braves recap. How can we get Uncle Chuck to start reading your blog?
Oh, stop. You're going to make me blush. My readers...too kind!
You, sir, are looking like you know what you are talking about
What'd I just say? Honestly, this is almost embarrassing. Look at how red my face is!
*For legal purposes and possible backlash when an administrator somewhere reads this, let me state for the record that I take my job as an educator very seriously, and I do not feel in any way that I give out grades that students have not earned. Did I really have to do this? Wow, what a buzzkill.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Male Bag: Volume III (Part 1)
The Male Bag! Back by popular demand!
This edition of the Male Bag will actually be done in two parts. Part 1 will be today, Part 2 tomorrow, and then a Cardinals preview on Tuesday. Why split it up into 2 parts? Because I counted over 20 different questions and comments that I can include in this edition of the Male Bag, and I figured everyone would be happier if I split that over 2 days. Thank you to everyone who continues with all of the questions and comments seemingly every day. I love starting up conversations about the Phils, and I love ignoring your questions and just telling you to read the Male Bag as well. Most of my questions and comments are actually coming in via text nowadays, but don't be shy using email either. Remember, my email address is cskoehler5@gmail.com. If you don't have my phone number and would prefer to text rather than email, my number is 215 206 6431.
Part 1 has a special feel to it. You may remember Volume II having a distinctly anti-Ibanez aura, and this one will be similar. It will be completely focused on the Phillies broadcast team! I know that sounds awful, and it mostly is. Hopefully you will enjoy as much as I have some of the questions and comments that have come in over the past month or so. Also, this Male Bag will include a special announcement at the end for all of my loyal readers! So the sooner I start with the actual questions, the sooner you can find out the news:
How much do you hate [Christopher] Wheeler?
This is an appropriate start to this Male Bag. It seems that most people have noticed how much I hate the broadcast team, and none of you have been very shy in expressing to me your hatred as well. I can't really tell how much I hate Christopher Wheeler. Enough to not ever call him "Wheels" or even "Chris" because I feel he does not deserve a nickname? Absolutely. Enough to only listen to the Phils on the radio because he annoys me so much? Absolutely not. Well, at least not yet. What is interesting about this is that I actually think baseball is so much better on the radio than on TV, and our radio guys are infinitely better than the TV guys, but I just can't get away from actually seeing the play. I have yet to figure out why this is, and I may end up making a complete switch at some point this summer if I continue to be this frustrated. At the same time, though, I feel watching games brings me closer to my readers because we can all complain together. And the complaints that come in about Christopher Wheeler and the others are actually fun when I can share them with someone else. Listening to the Phillies TV broadcast team is sort of like drinking alcohol. When you do it alone, it's downright depressing. When you share the experience with someone else, it's hilarious.
What the hell are they talking about?
Another great question. Because no one really ever knows. I found a website that helps to highlight how annoying they are, but be warned. As I just stated in the last response, this is frustrating to experience alone but provides plenty of laughs when shared with a friend. It is entitled [Thomas] McCarthy Sucks. The address is even [thomasmccarthy]sucks.blogspot.com. Why didn't I think of this? Anyway, it often points us to times when Thomas is talking about anything but the Phillies. Something that I should add to the Phillies drinking game is to drink anytime Thomas talks about whatever is on camera, baseball-related or not. The reason I won't is because you would be hammered in an inning and a third. You'll often find him randomly saying things like, "And boy [Christopher Wheeler] wouldn't we all enjoy an ice cream cone on a day like today just like that little girl? Looks like she's got chocolate there. And speaking of chocolate, Sarge will be joining us next inning where I will awkwardly ask him any number of questions from my list of 75 I have every game about his playing career. And speaking of ice cream, I'm sure Shane Victorino doesn't need any to cool off his hot bat as of late. And speaking of hot, the red-hot Oakland Athletics will be coming into town next weekend for a 3-game series. And speaking of town, have you gotten a chance to see all of the sites of downtown Philadelphia recently? And speaking of downtown, that ball is GONE!"
So what the hell are they talking about? We're never really sure. It's just mostly whatever is on the television screen and/or Thomas McCarthy's mind. And it's anything but the game until something exciting happens. What a travesty.
I need to set a timer to see how long they actually talk about the stupid shizzle they talk about
What a depressing adventure that would be. I agree, and I will probably do it one game. But how often do they talk about something completely unrelated to the game? And I don't mean interesting things. I mean things like a girl catching a foul ball over the railing. Yes, great catch. Sure, show a replay. OK, maybe show another. Then let's move on. But please. Do NOT talk about it again the NEXT NIGHT. That's ridiculous. And that's what we do.
Oh wow, a guy selling beer in the stands using a backpack. How crazy is this? Do they still carry those buckets up and down the aisles? Yes, Thomas and Christopher. That's why we can see another beer guy carrying a bucket up and down the same aisle. Yet they decide to talk about this enough that a camera man actually has to go back to that shot multiple times to see what this beer man will do next. My guess is sell a beer. A job that you're both much more suited for, Thomas and Christopher.
Morgan Freeman interacting with [Thomas McCarthy]? Strange
As if McCarthy doesn't get off-topic enough on his own, every once in a while the Phillies decide to bring in a special guest to the booth to help him talk about anything but events transpiring in a baseball game. Morgan Freeman was forced to suffer through this earlier in the year. Can you imagine? Such a talented actor, someone who is so successful and respected in his particular field, having to answer questions from someone with as much talent as he has hair on his head. And poor Billie Jean King. A tennis legend having to interact with someone who can only hope to some day have talent the size of his own man boobs. What did these guests do to deserve such treatment? At least they are usually in there with Sarge, though, rather than Christopher Wheeler, a person with about as much personality as lunch meat with a face.
If [Christopher Wheeler] says "What a goofy game" one more time I'll lose it
When I made the Phillies drinking game, I really should have made it just for the broadcast team and things they do on a game-by-game basis. If there is a balk, a ground-rule double, or 2 errors in a game, it has suddenly been dubbed "goofy" by Christopher Wheeler. Just like scoring more than one run in an inning is putting up a "crooked number." Are you truly referring to the shape of the number, and 1 just happens to be the only "straight" one? If that's the case, it's not clever. You're just annoying. If it's not the case, you're just annoying. A pitcher who fields a ground ball, bunts the ball fair, or just swings a bat is automatically "athletic" or a "really good athlete." I've already said how annoying his talk is of park sizes, and the tendency of a ball to "fly out of this place." And there are countless things that McCarthy says or does all the time. Like getting excited about what the other team is doing. Stupid segues are my most recent favorite. If I had a dollar for every time Thomas McCarthy said "speaking of," I would be able to quit my job and focus all my energies on this blog. And I'd write about every single game. Because I'd be able to afford Phillies season tickets. With my seats being in the dugout.
That trivia thing is awful...Stump Christopher Wheeler
This may be the thing that frustrates me the most game in and game out. I absolutely love trivia. I mentioned a few posts that I go to Trivia Night every week at the Perk. I am a teacher, so I generally love learning as well. Interesting facts are my jam. I used to salivate at the mere mention of Dodge Stump the Fans. Years ago, I honestly would make sure I had a game on by the third inning and watched through the 7th just for this question and answer. That seems stupid and horrible to me now, but that is how much I honestly loved it. Now, I dread the beginning of the third and seventh inning. And when I say "beginning," I mean the entire top half. Because it's all they talk about. And I don't know how Thomas and Christopher sleep at night knowing that that segment of their program is actually referring to the fans. In no way do they want the fans to enjoy Dodge Stump the Fans. Is it some sick game between the two of them? Like they know they are torturing us, yet they can manage to keep a straight face the whole time and do it every single day? I would give them credit if that were the case because I would eventually crack and just admit to everyone that we were being that annoying on purpose. Here is an example of most annoying things about these two (or at least Thomas) all rolled into one Dodge Stump the Fans segment.
The question: The Red Sox traded Hanley Ramirez and Anibal Sanchez with 2 other players to Florida for Guillermo Mota and what 2 other players?
Immediately, I can identify Mike Lowell as one of the two. Before I have a chance to really think about the second, this exchange occurs:
TM: Just so you know they weren't in that crowd shot right there, [Christopher Wheeler].
CW: No
TM: Although one of them could've been
CW: What?
TM: That's all I'm gonna say
Die, Thomas McCarthy. First of all, stop directing the question at Christopher. Secondly, shut up about every single crowd shot they show throughout a game. Thirdly, you ruined my train of thought. Now I am so focused trying to figure out your cryptic comment on the fact that someone could be in the stands that I don't know how to figure out the second person (who was so easy...Josh Beckett). If I go to see a movie, I don't want to know that there's a twist at the end. Once I know that, I can only think about what the twist is going to be. I can't actually watch the movie and take it all in. This is what you've done to me, Thomas. And it's what you do to me almost daily. Stop giving your stupid hints and then being a jackass who says "That's all I'm gonna say." You're the biggest of all majokes. Well, except maybe Christopher Wheeler.
I'd rather stick my hand in a piston and feel the repeated breaking of my fingers than listen to them
I agree with this statement. As I do way too many things, I would describe listening to those two as "worse than a hanging."
I would rather have my neck not break in a hanging so I could gasp for every last breath.
Pretty graphic there, Jeremiah. But, yeah, they are really bad. These awful punishments you've so eloquently described are nothing compared to the torture they put us through. We are going to have so much fun watching and listening to them together this summer. Wait, what?
**Warning: This is the big announcement part. Prepare yourself
Can I go to Virginia with you?
This question may come as a surprise to a decent amount of you out there. For some, this makes the news all too real. You read that correctly though, I am going to Virginia. And I am not just going there for vacation this summer. Instead, I am moving to the great state of Virginia. Although teaching and coaching at Pennridge has long been my dream job, I've since woken up from that dream and realized that a reality is much better down in Virginia, seeing what else the world has to offer one Cameron Koehler. I had a great year here, but I need to branch out and shake things up a little bit. The branching and shaking will be occurring in Midlothian, Virginia with a job at James River High School. And I know what you are all thinking now. And someone has already asked.
How will you be watching the Phillies when in Virginia?
No worries, folks. I can watch the Phils with just as much consistency as I do right now. I am going to be moving in with Brianna and Jeremiah, taking on the roll of Jesse Katsopolis in the Full House that is their life come October 16 with the arrival of a baby girl. Always thinking, I bought MLB.TV for Jeremiah for his birthday back in April, and I will begin reaping all of the benefits come mid-July when I move down there. The blog will continue, I promise. The blog will continue. The blog will continue. (If I keep saying it, it has to be true).
But how is any of this news related to the hatred of the Phillies broadcast team?
Glad you asked, No One. The answer is simple. Jeremiah and I make a perfect Phillies broadcast team. I know things about the Phillies, and he has a hilarious and interesting way to get excited about things. This includes our beloved Phillies, and the world can someday look forward to my play-by-play and Jeremiah's color commentary full of made up words and often borderline offensive comments. What we may even look into doing is some type of podcast where we call a game every so often. There's no way that would ever work, but it sure sounds cool to talk about doing it, right?
That's it for Part 1 of the Male Bag: Volume III. Come back tomorrow for Part 2
This edition of the Male Bag will actually be done in two parts. Part 1 will be today, Part 2 tomorrow, and then a Cardinals preview on Tuesday. Why split it up into 2 parts? Because I counted over 20 different questions and comments that I can include in this edition of the Male Bag, and I figured everyone would be happier if I split that over 2 days. Thank you to everyone who continues with all of the questions and comments seemingly every day. I love starting up conversations about the Phils, and I love ignoring your questions and just telling you to read the Male Bag as well. Most of my questions and comments are actually coming in via text nowadays, but don't be shy using email either. Remember, my email address is cskoehler5@gmail.com. If you don't have my phone number and would prefer to text rather than email, my number is 215 206 6431.
Part 1 has a special feel to it. You may remember Volume II having a distinctly anti-Ibanez aura, and this one will be similar. It will be completely focused on the Phillies broadcast team! I know that sounds awful, and it mostly is. Hopefully you will enjoy as much as I have some of the questions and comments that have come in over the past month or so. Also, this Male Bag will include a special announcement at the end for all of my loyal readers! So the sooner I start with the actual questions, the sooner you can find out the news:
How much do you hate [Christopher] Wheeler?
This is an appropriate start to this Male Bag. It seems that most people have noticed how much I hate the broadcast team, and none of you have been very shy in expressing to me your hatred as well. I can't really tell how much I hate Christopher Wheeler. Enough to not ever call him "Wheels" or even "Chris" because I feel he does not deserve a nickname? Absolutely. Enough to only listen to the Phils on the radio because he annoys me so much? Absolutely not. Well, at least not yet. What is interesting about this is that I actually think baseball is so much better on the radio than on TV, and our radio guys are infinitely better than the TV guys, but I just can't get away from actually seeing the play. I have yet to figure out why this is, and I may end up making a complete switch at some point this summer if I continue to be this frustrated. At the same time, though, I feel watching games brings me closer to my readers because we can all complain together. And the complaints that come in about Christopher Wheeler and the others are actually fun when I can share them with someone else. Listening to the Phillies TV broadcast team is sort of like drinking alcohol. When you do it alone, it's downright depressing. When you share the experience with someone else, it's hilarious.
What the hell are they talking about?
Another great question. Because no one really ever knows. I found a website that helps to highlight how annoying they are, but be warned. As I just stated in the last response, this is frustrating to experience alone but provides plenty of laughs when shared with a friend. It is entitled [Thomas] McCarthy Sucks. The address is even [thomasmccarthy]sucks.blogspot.com. Why didn't I think of this? Anyway, it often points us to times when Thomas is talking about anything but the Phillies. Something that I should add to the Phillies drinking game is to drink anytime Thomas talks about whatever is on camera, baseball-related or not. The reason I won't is because you would be hammered in an inning and a third. You'll often find him randomly saying things like, "And boy [Christopher Wheeler] wouldn't we all enjoy an ice cream cone on a day like today just like that little girl? Looks like she's got chocolate there. And speaking of chocolate, Sarge will be joining us next inning where I will awkwardly ask him any number of questions from my list of 75 I have every game about his playing career. And speaking of ice cream, I'm sure Shane Victorino doesn't need any to cool off his hot bat as of late. And speaking of hot, the red-hot Oakland Athletics will be coming into town next weekend for a 3-game series. And speaking of town, have you gotten a chance to see all of the sites of downtown Philadelphia recently? And speaking of downtown, that ball is GONE!"
So what the hell are they talking about? We're never really sure. It's just mostly whatever is on the television screen and/or Thomas McCarthy's mind. And it's anything but the game until something exciting happens. What a travesty.
I need to set a timer to see how long they actually talk about the stupid shizzle they talk about
What a depressing adventure that would be. I agree, and I will probably do it one game. But how often do they talk about something completely unrelated to the game? And I don't mean interesting things. I mean things like a girl catching a foul ball over the railing. Yes, great catch. Sure, show a replay. OK, maybe show another. Then let's move on. But please. Do NOT talk about it again the NEXT NIGHT. That's ridiculous. And that's what we do.
Oh wow, a guy selling beer in the stands using a backpack. How crazy is this? Do they still carry those buckets up and down the aisles? Yes, Thomas and Christopher. That's why we can see another beer guy carrying a bucket up and down the same aisle. Yet they decide to talk about this enough that a camera man actually has to go back to that shot multiple times to see what this beer man will do next. My guess is sell a beer. A job that you're both much more suited for, Thomas and Christopher.
Morgan Freeman interacting with [Thomas McCarthy]? Strange
As if McCarthy doesn't get off-topic enough on his own, every once in a while the Phillies decide to bring in a special guest to the booth to help him talk about anything but events transpiring in a baseball game. Morgan Freeman was forced to suffer through this earlier in the year. Can you imagine? Such a talented actor, someone who is so successful and respected in his particular field, having to answer questions from someone with as much talent as he has hair on his head. And poor Billie Jean King. A tennis legend having to interact with someone who can only hope to some day have talent the size of his own man boobs. What did these guests do to deserve such treatment? At least they are usually in there with Sarge, though, rather than Christopher Wheeler, a person with about as much personality as lunch meat with a face.
If [Christopher Wheeler] says "What a goofy game" one more time I'll lose it
When I made the Phillies drinking game, I really should have made it just for the broadcast team and things they do on a game-by-game basis. If there is a balk, a ground-rule double, or 2 errors in a game, it has suddenly been dubbed "goofy" by Christopher Wheeler. Just like scoring more than one run in an inning is putting up a "crooked number." Are you truly referring to the shape of the number, and 1 just happens to be the only "straight" one? If that's the case, it's not clever. You're just annoying. If it's not the case, you're just annoying. A pitcher who fields a ground ball, bunts the ball fair, or just swings a bat is automatically "athletic" or a "really good athlete." I've already said how annoying his talk is of park sizes, and the tendency of a ball to "fly out of this place." And there are countless things that McCarthy says or does all the time. Like getting excited about what the other team is doing. Stupid segues are my most recent favorite. If I had a dollar for every time Thomas McCarthy said "speaking of," I would be able to quit my job and focus all my energies on this blog. And I'd write about every single game. Because I'd be able to afford Phillies season tickets. With my seats being in the dugout.
That trivia thing is awful...Stump Christopher Wheeler
This may be the thing that frustrates me the most game in and game out. I absolutely love trivia. I mentioned a few posts that I go to Trivia Night every week at the Perk. I am a teacher, so I generally love learning as well. Interesting facts are my jam. I used to salivate at the mere mention of Dodge Stump the Fans. Years ago, I honestly would make sure I had a game on by the third inning and watched through the 7th just for this question and answer. That seems stupid and horrible to me now, but that is how much I honestly loved it. Now, I dread the beginning of the third and seventh inning. And when I say "beginning," I mean the entire top half. Because it's all they talk about. And I don't know how Thomas and Christopher sleep at night knowing that that segment of their program is actually referring to the fans. In no way do they want the fans to enjoy Dodge Stump the Fans. Is it some sick game between the two of them? Like they know they are torturing us, yet they can manage to keep a straight face the whole time and do it every single day? I would give them credit if that were the case because I would eventually crack and just admit to everyone that we were being that annoying on purpose. Here is an example of most annoying things about these two (or at least Thomas) all rolled into one Dodge Stump the Fans segment.
The question: The Red Sox traded Hanley Ramirez and Anibal Sanchez with 2 other players to Florida for Guillermo Mota and what 2 other players?
Immediately, I can identify Mike Lowell as one of the two. Before I have a chance to really think about the second, this exchange occurs:
TM: Just so you know they weren't in that crowd shot right there, [Christopher Wheeler].
CW: No
TM: Although one of them could've been
CW: What?
TM: That's all I'm gonna say
Die, Thomas McCarthy. First of all, stop directing the question at Christopher. Secondly, shut up about every single crowd shot they show throughout a game. Thirdly, you ruined my train of thought. Now I am so focused trying to figure out your cryptic comment on the fact that someone could be in the stands that I don't know how to figure out the second person (who was so easy...Josh Beckett). If I go to see a movie, I don't want to know that there's a twist at the end. Once I know that, I can only think about what the twist is going to be. I can't actually watch the movie and take it all in. This is what you've done to me, Thomas. And it's what you do to me almost daily. Stop giving your stupid hints and then being a jackass who says "That's all I'm gonna say." You're the biggest of all majokes. Well, except maybe Christopher Wheeler.
I'd rather stick my hand in a piston and feel the repeated breaking of my fingers than listen to them
I agree with this statement. As I do way too many things, I would describe listening to those two as "worse than a hanging."
I would rather have my neck not break in a hanging so I could gasp for every last breath.
Pretty graphic there, Jeremiah. But, yeah, they are really bad. These awful punishments you've so eloquently described are nothing compared to the torture they put us through. We are going to have so much fun watching and listening to them together this summer. Wait, what?
**Warning: This is the big announcement part. Prepare yourself
Can I go to Virginia with you?
This question may come as a surprise to a decent amount of you out there. For some, this makes the news all too real. You read that correctly though, I am going to Virginia. And I am not just going there for vacation this summer. Instead, I am moving to the great state of Virginia. Although teaching and coaching at Pennridge has long been my dream job, I've since woken up from that dream and realized that a reality is much better down in Virginia, seeing what else the world has to offer one Cameron Koehler. I had a great year here, but I need to branch out and shake things up a little bit. The branching and shaking will be occurring in Midlothian, Virginia with a job at James River High School. And I know what you are all thinking now. And someone has already asked.
How will you be watching the Phillies when in Virginia?
No worries, folks. I can watch the Phils with just as much consistency as I do right now. I am going to be moving in with Brianna and Jeremiah, taking on the roll of Jesse Katsopolis in the Full House that is their life come October 16 with the arrival of a baby girl. Always thinking, I bought MLB.TV for Jeremiah for his birthday back in April, and I will begin reaping all of the benefits come mid-July when I move down there. The blog will continue, I promise. The blog will continue. The blog will continue. (If I keep saying it, it has to be true).
But how is any of this news related to the hatred of the Phillies broadcast team?
Glad you asked, No One. The answer is simple. Jeremiah and I make a perfect Phillies broadcast team. I know things about the Phillies, and he has a hilarious and interesting way to get excited about things. This includes our beloved Phillies, and the world can someday look forward to my play-by-play and Jeremiah's color commentary full of made up words and often borderline offensive comments. What we may even look into doing is some type of podcast where we call a game every so often. There's no way that would ever work, but it sure sounds cool to talk about doing it, right?
That's it for Part 1 of the Male Bag: Volume III. Come back tomorrow for Part 2
Friday, June 17, 2011
Mariners Preview
15 minutes. Ready... go!
Ok so I was going to do a Male Bag today, but I just didn't get the time with it being the last day of school and all types of celebrations and such going on. That doesn't mean Male Bag Volume III is not coming soon. Expect it on Sunday.
As for the preview of the Mariners series, I am going to keep it very brief. Partially because the Mariners are mostly worthless, partially because we are probably going to lose to them, and mostly because I just don't have the time to go very in depth. We'll see what I can get in before game time, though.
Game 1: Roy Oswalt (4-4, 3.14 ERA) vs. Michael Pineda (6-4, 2.72 ERA)
This game feels like it could go one of two ways to me with nothing in between. Either Pineda and the Mariners throw a shutout against us, or we get him out of the game in about 3 innings by scoring 8 runs off of him. I want to hope for the latter, but I feel like the former is much more likely. Pineda has been very very good this year, and we've never seen him. He has been worse recently though, going 0-2 with a 3.72 ERA in his last 3 starts. As for the Phils, does anyone realize that Oswalt has the worst ERA of our 4 starters this season? It's 3.14. That's the worst of those 4. Can we please take a second to recall how good our rotation is?
Prediction: Mariners 4 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: Ben Francisco sucking even worse as a DH (if possible). And why is Ibanez not our DH? If we need him in the lineup so bad, can we at least keep him off the field defensively?
Game 2: Vance Worley (2-1, 3.75 ERA) vs. Felix Hernandez (7-5, 3.30 ERA)
This seems like a sure loss to me. The thing we have going for us is the fact that Worley is new to the Mariners, and they generally don't score many runs anyway. I sort of feel like these first two games could end up being very similar in that there will be a general lack of offense from both teams (but especially the Phils. Kill me). The silver lining here: Worley is starting because Romero got designated for assignment. What does that mean? Who cares! All I know is it means he's not on our team right now. Ruben Amaro, Jr. called this "not an easy decision for us." Getting rid of Romero wasn't an easy decision? Please, please, PLEASE tell me what you consider an easy decision Rube. He's the biggest majoke of a pitcher in baseball. Get him out of here.
Prediction: Mariners 2 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: even less hits in this game than the first one from the Phils
Game 3: Cole Hamels (9-2, 2.49 ERA) vs. Jason Vargas (4-4, 4.13 ERA)
I wish I had time to convince you that Cole is the best pitcher in the NL right now, but I am down to 2 minutes and 28 seconds to finish this preview in under my goal. Bottom line: He's nasty. And Jason Vargas kinda sucks. Trust me, he's on my fantasy team. He really sucks.
Prediction: Phillies 8 Mariners 1
Keep an eye out for: double digit strikeouts from Hamels and the Phils offense taking all of their anger out from the past 2 days on Vargas
14:01. Well done, Cam. Well done.
Ok so I was going to do a Male Bag today, but I just didn't get the time with it being the last day of school and all types of celebrations and such going on. That doesn't mean Male Bag Volume III is not coming soon. Expect it on Sunday.
As for the preview of the Mariners series, I am going to keep it very brief. Partially because the Mariners are mostly worthless, partially because we are probably going to lose to them, and mostly because I just don't have the time to go very in depth. We'll see what I can get in before game time, though.
Game 1: Roy Oswalt (4-4, 3.14 ERA) vs. Michael Pineda (6-4, 2.72 ERA)
This game feels like it could go one of two ways to me with nothing in between. Either Pineda and the Mariners throw a shutout against us, or we get him out of the game in about 3 innings by scoring 8 runs off of him. I want to hope for the latter, but I feel like the former is much more likely. Pineda has been very very good this year, and we've never seen him. He has been worse recently though, going 0-2 with a 3.72 ERA in his last 3 starts. As for the Phils, does anyone realize that Oswalt has the worst ERA of our 4 starters this season? It's 3.14. That's the worst of those 4. Can we please take a second to recall how good our rotation is?
Prediction: Mariners 4 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: Ben Francisco sucking even worse as a DH (if possible). And why is Ibanez not our DH? If we need him in the lineup so bad, can we at least keep him off the field defensively?
Game 2: Vance Worley (2-1, 3.75 ERA) vs. Felix Hernandez (7-5, 3.30 ERA)
This seems like a sure loss to me. The thing we have going for us is the fact that Worley is new to the Mariners, and they generally don't score many runs anyway. I sort of feel like these first two games could end up being very similar in that there will be a general lack of offense from both teams (but especially the Phils. Kill me). The silver lining here: Worley is starting because Romero got designated for assignment. What does that mean? Who cares! All I know is it means he's not on our team right now. Ruben Amaro, Jr. called this "not an easy decision for us." Getting rid of Romero wasn't an easy decision? Please, please, PLEASE tell me what you consider an easy decision Rube. He's the biggest majoke of a pitcher in baseball. Get him out of here.
Prediction: Mariners 2 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: even less hits in this game than the first one from the Phils
Game 3: Cole Hamels (9-2, 2.49 ERA) vs. Jason Vargas (4-4, 4.13 ERA)
I wish I had time to convince you that Cole is the best pitcher in the NL right now, but I am down to 2 minutes and 28 seconds to finish this preview in under my goal. Bottom line: He's nasty. And Jason Vargas kinda sucks. Trust me, he's on my fantasy team. He really sucks.
Prediction: Phillies 8 Mariners 1
Keep an eye out for: double digit strikeouts from Hamels and the Phils offense taking all of their anger out from the past 2 days on Vargas
14:01. Well done, Cam. Well done.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Marlins Preview
We have a unique series coming up with the Marlins over the next 3 days. Not only will we be playing 4 games in 3 days, but 3 of those games will occur over the course of about 27 hours. It sounds crazy, and that's mostly because it is.
So what could this possibly mean for the series? Starters, starters, and more starters. If the pressure is on anyone in this series, it will be the starting pitchers. Conserving bullpens will be key between now and this time on Thursday in order for one team to come out on top. Who does all of this favor? Us!
Not only do we have a rotation full of guys who can go the distance if we need them to, but we come in at quite an advantage in terms of bullpen use recently. The Marlins' starter lasted only 3 innings in yesterday's 12-9 loss to the Diamondbags. Combine that with a 5-1 loss on Sunday, and they come into this series having used 7 different relievers to pitch 10 innings over the past 2 days. With the Phils coming off of an off-day, this puts us in a much better position.
In the 5 games we have played thus far with the Marlins, our starters have averaged just over 6 innings per outing. Their starters have averaged just under 6 innings per outing. Not a big difference when you look at it as a generalization like that; therefore, rather than hit you with some big long intro to this preview, let's get right into the specifics.
Game 1: Chris Volstad (2-6, 5.51 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (8-2, 2.58 ERA)
There are way too many things I can say about Chris Volstad and who has had success against him over the years. Rather than break down individual players, here are our current roster's stats against him:
57 for 156 (.365 AVG), 7 2B, 12 HR, 26 RBI, 17 BB, 16 K, 1.107 OPS
I know I just said it, but let me please remind you that those are our team stats against him. That's everyone combined. That tells me that the Marlins should not be able to keep him in the game for very long. And that comes against Cole Hamels, one of the hottest pitchers in baseball (4-0, 1.70 ERA in his last 5 starts). Along with that, Hamels has been able to pitch 8 innings in each of his past 2 starts. I don't see this one working out too well for the Marlins.
Prediction: Phillies 10 Marlins 2
Keep an eye out for: Howard homering off of Volstad. The longer they keep him in, the more home runs. He is a .478 hitter against Volstad in his career with 6 homers in 23 at bats.
Game 2: TBA (0-0, -.-- ERA) vs. Kyle Kendrick (3-4, 3.47 ERA)
The good news: Kendrick has a 0.00 ERA in one game against the Marlins this season. The whatever news: That was a 1-inning relief appearance.
As I've said before, we can figure out what Kendrick will do after the first inning of any game he pitches. If he gets through it without giving up a run, we can get 6 or 7 out of him with 2 runs or less. If he gives up a run, he'll be out by the 5th having given up 6 runs or so. With the Marlins not announcing a starter, I am worried about what may be looming for the Phils. I am sure they will call up their Asian phenom Sum Yung Gai*, and he will shut us down because of our lack of experience against him. Kendrick is getting put in a tough spot here, and I almost feel like it is going to be a loss for him no matter what he does.
Prediction: Marlins 6 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: the Phils failing to get a hit until the 5th inning after doing so well the night before
*Sum Yung Gai is not a real person. Reread the name. We just aren't that great against young pitchers we don't have a lot of experience against, and this is what I assume they will throw at us. Pun intended.
Game 3: Anibal Sanchez (6-1, 3.06 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (9-3, 2.39 ERA)
I doubt there are many pitchers in the league that the Marlins would rather NOT see. That more than likely applies to every team, but the Marlins should be especially depressed about a matchup with Roy Halladay. Since joining the Phils, Roy's numbers in 6 starts against the Marlins are as follows:
46 IP, 34 H, 8 ER, 4 BB, 50 K
The silver lining for Florida? We have a bad habit of not giving him much run support against them, giving him just a 4-2 record in those games despite his 1.57 ERA. Unfortunately for them, we have a few guys with some great career numbers against Sanchez. Polanco is a .538 hitter with 2 home runs in just 13 at bats, Rollins is hitting .333 against him, Utley .440, and Howard .318. Good numbers against Marlins pitching is generally no accident because we see them so often.
Prediction: Phillies 7 Marlins 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay's 5th complete game but first shutout of the season
Game 4: Javier Vazquez (3-6, 7.09 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (6-5, 3.41 ERA)
Lee was pretty mediocre in his only start agaisnt the Marlins this season, pitching 6 and giving up 3 runs while striking out just 4. I expect much more out of him this time, especially if there is any type of pressure on him to pitch deep into the game due to a lack of bullpen availability. Cliff always seems to rise to the big moments. Javier Vazquez is probably dreading this start, seeing as his ERA is 7.09 this season and it is even worse just against the Phillies (7.71). And those appearances were without Utley in the lineup. At this point in the series, things could get ugly if we see as much bullpen from the Marlins as I anticipate. But I don't want to get too greedy, so I'll keep my prediction modest.
Prediction: Phillies 5 Marlins 2
Keep an eye out for: more Howard home runs. He could feasibly hit 4-5 homers in this series. Combined against these 3 starters, Howard is a .391 hitter with 11 homers, 15 RBI, a .506 on-base percentage, and a .984 slugging percentage. For a point of reference: .400 is a great on-base percentage, and the current runaway leader in slugging percentage in the MLB is at .701.
So what could this possibly mean for the series? Starters, starters, and more starters. If the pressure is on anyone in this series, it will be the starting pitchers. Conserving bullpens will be key between now and this time on Thursday in order for one team to come out on top. Who does all of this favor? Us!
Not only do we have a rotation full of guys who can go the distance if we need them to, but we come in at quite an advantage in terms of bullpen use recently. The Marlins' starter lasted only 3 innings in yesterday's 12-9 loss to the Diamondbags. Combine that with a 5-1 loss on Sunday, and they come into this series having used 7 different relievers to pitch 10 innings over the past 2 days. With the Phils coming off of an off-day, this puts us in a much better position.
In the 5 games we have played thus far with the Marlins, our starters have averaged just over 6 innings per outing. Their starters have averaged just under 6 innings per outing. Not a big difference when you look at it as a generalization like that; therefore, rather than hit you with some big long intro to this preview, let's get right into the specifics.
Game 1: Chris Volstad (2-6, 5.51 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (8-2, 2.58 ERA)
There are way too many things I can say about Chris Volstad and who has had success against him over the years. Rather than break down individual players, here are our current roster's stats against him:
57 for 156 (.365 AVG), 7 2B, 12 HR, 26 RBI, 17 BB, 16 K, 1.107 OPS
I know I just said it, but let me please remind you that those are our team stats against him. That's everyone combined. That tells me that the Marlins should not be able to keep him in the game for very long. And that comes against Cole Hamels, one of the hottest pitchers in baseball (4-0, 1.70 ERA in his last 5 starts). Along with that, Hamels has been able to pitch 8 innings in each of his past 2 starts. I don't see this one working out too well for the Marlins.
Prediction: Phillies 10 Marlins 2
Keep an eye out for: Howard homering off of Volstad. The longer they keep him in, the more home runs. He is a .478 hitter against Volstad in his career with 6 homers in 23 at bats.
Game 2: TBA (0-0, -.-- ERA) vs. Kyle Kendrick (3-4, 3.47 ERA)
The good news: Kendrick has a 0.00 ERA in one game against the Marlins this season. The whatever news: That was a 1-inning relief appearance.
As I've said before, we can figure out what Kendrick will do after the first inning of any game he pitches. If he gets through it without giving up a run, we can get 6 or 7 out of him with 2 runs or less. If he gives up a run, he'll be out by the 5th having given up 6 runs or so. With the Marlins not announcing a starter, I am worried about what may be looming for the Phils. I am sure they will call up their Asian phenom Sum Yung Gai*, and he will shut us down because of our lack of experience against him. Kendrick is getting put in a tough spot here, and I almost feel like it is going to be a loss for him no matter what he does.
Prediction: Marlins 6 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: the Phils failing to get a hit until the 5th inning after doing so well the night before
*Sum Yung Gai is not a real person. Reread the name. We just aren't that great against young pitchers we don't have a lot of experience against, and this is what I assume they will throw at us. Pun intended.
Game 3: Anibal Sanchez (6-1, 3.06 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (9-3, 2.39 ERA)
I doubt there are many pitchers in the league that the Marlins would rather NOT see. That more than likely applies to every team, but the Marlins should be especially depressed about a matchup with Roy Halladay. Since joining the Phils, Roy's numbers in 6 starts against the Marlins are as follows:
46 IP, 34 H, 8 ER, 4 BB, 50 K
The silver lining for Florida? We have a bad habit of not giving him much run support against them, giving him just a 4-2 record in those games despite his 1.57 ERA. Unfortunately for them, we have a few guys with some great career numbers against Sanchez. Polanco is a .538 hitter with 2 home runs in just 13 at bats, Rollins is hitting .333 against him, Utley .440, and Howard .318. Good numbers against Marlins pitching is generally no accident because we see them so often.
Prediction: Phillies 7 Marlins 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay's 5th complete game but first shutout of the season
Game 4: Javier Vazquez (3-6, 7.09 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (6-5, 3.41 ERA)
Lee was pretty mediocre in his only start agaisnt the Marlins this season, pitching 6 and giving up 3 runs while striking out just 4. I expect much more out of him this time, especially if there is any type of pressure on him to pitch deep into the game due to a lack of bullpen availability. Cliff always seems to rise to the big moments. Javier Vazquez is probably dreading this start, seeing as his ERA is 7.09 this season and it is even worse just against the Phillies (7.71). And those appearances were without Utley in the lineup. At this point in the series, things could get ugly if we see as much bullpen from the Marlins as I anticipate. But I don't want to get too greedy, so I'll keep my prediction modest.
Prediction: Phillies 5 Marlins 2
Keep an eye out for: more Howard home runs. He could feasibly hit 4-5 homers in this series. Combined against these 3 starters, Howard is a .391 hitter with 11 homers, 15 RBI, a .506 on-base percentage, and a .984 slugging percentage. For a point of reference: .400 is a great on-base percentage, and the current runaway leader in slugging percentage in the MLB is at .701.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Cubs Series Check-Point
My poor readers. Surely you were all refreshing this page constantly for the hour leading up to our first game with the Cubs on Thursday night, eager to read a preview and figure out exactly what you could expect over the course of the ensuing 4 games. Rather than feeling too bad about this, I am going to justify my actions by claiming that I had a plan for this all along and simply forgot to tell you about it. My extended Thursday afternoon nap had nothing to do with the lack of an update...
I actually do think this is a really good thing, though. With a lot of previews, I have no idea how the Phils or their opponent are going to play against each other. All I have to go off of is statistics that have been compiled over the past 5 years rather than statistics that we've gotten over the past 2 days. This may or may not mean a new trend in a preview of a 4-game series. Rather than previewing, I think a series check-point halfway through is a good idea. Where have we been, and where are we going? Hopefully, because of our successes and failures over the past 48 hours, we can figure out how to limit those to just successes over the next.
Side note before I get into the breakdown: I feel like I have a ton of stuff to write about that I simply haven't gotten a chance because I've basically been limiting myself to previews. For the most part, I plan on keeping things the way they've been this season, but I envision myself having some more time in a little over a week because of the end of school. I think I'm going to kick off my summer with the third edition of the Male Bag, so keep the questions coming! After that, hopefully we can get some more non-series related posts that are more centered on the Phillies in general this season. Previews are OK, but the other stuff is much more fun.
Game 1: Cubs 4 Phillies 3 (11 innings)
I didn't get to watch this entire game because of Trivia Night at The Perk (Interesting fact: the only food that can currently satisfy my hunger is a burger from The Perk. Frustrating? Yes, at times. But overall it's awesome after up to a week-long wait to fully enjoy life again). I did, however, watch the very end of regulation and all of extra innings. In looking back through the box score, one thing jumped out at me. What the heck are we doing with our pitchers? I realize that we had to take Kendrick out after the rain delay, but wouldn't that mean we should be a little more conservative with our bullpen? Check out the innings pitched by some of our relievers: Romero - 1/3; Stutes - 2/3; Bastardo - 2/3; Contreras - 2/3. Contreras, Bastardo, and Stutes should all be pitching 1 inning each. That makes up for one whole inning right there. Romero could barely pitch for the Clearwater Threshers right now, so I won't complain about his 1/3 of an inning. So how did this affect us? With 2 outs and the bases loaded in the bottom of the 10th, we had David Herndon trying to drive in the winning run. He's now 0 for 3 in his career with 3 strikeouts...not exactly our best option. Had we used our bullpen a little better, we would've been in a position to pinch hit.
Also, isn't it funny that we didn't pinch hit here? We're the home team, so the game would be over if we get a hit. I understand the risk of putting all of our eggs into one basket, but you have to feel kind of crappy if you're Wilson Valdez or Ross Gload. Uncle Chuck basically just turned to them and said "Blk...blp...bli, I, uhh, blp, glp... uh, don't, uhh, th-think you can, uh...glp get...get a hit." Thanks for the vote of confidence, Porky. It's not often that we'll lose a game on a Polanco error with Baseball making the last out, though. So you can't feel too bad about this.
Game 2:
Game 1 was a tough one to judge because of the rain delay, but Game 2 seemed to reveal something about the pitching staffs of these two teams right now: They are complete opposites. Through 2 games, the numbers for the starters:
Cubs - 8.2 IP, 10 H, 10 ER, 9 BB, 7 K, 3 HR, 10.38 ERA
Us - 10 IP, 8 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 11 K, 0 HR, 0.00 ERA
And the bullpens:
Cubs - 10.1 IP, 5 H, 0 ER, 5 BB, 10 K, 0 HR, 0.00 ERA
Us - 10 IP, 13 H, 8 ER, 7 BB, 9 K, 1 HR, 7.20 ERA
The only other trend that I really noticed over the course of these 2 games was Starlin Castro loving to hit against us.
So, knowing all of that, I can now make 100% accurate predictions on the next 2 games. I actually heard they might cancel the games in favor of this blog post. Sorry if you had tickets.
Game 3: Matt Garza (2-5, 4.07 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (5-5, 3.62 ERA)
The Phillies will win this game. Why, might you ask? Well, because Cliff Lee is pretty good at keeping his pitch count low, winning or losing. Because of that, we may be able to hold off for awhile on the bullpen. And the Cubs' inability to hit our starting pitchers makes me feel good about their inability to hit Cliff Lee. Although Starlin Castro is the brightest spot in the Cubs' order this series (4 for 10, 2 doubles), Lee has struck him out all 3 times he's faced him. And Starlin Castro doesn't really strike out. Carlos Pena has significant experience against Lee, including 3 homers, but overall is hitting just .207 against him (plus a whopping .067 against lefties this season) and has generally sucked against the Phils (see: 2008 World Series. Don't see: Game 1 of this series). Our bats have been hot early in these past 2 games, so I'm thinking we can get to Garza despite our lack of success against him. One thing that scares the Pittsburgh out of me: the only players with multiple lifetime hits against Garza are Gload (never plays), Francisco (can't hit), and Ibanez (ugh).
Prediction: Phils 5 Cubs 1
Keep an eye out for: Lee going 8 because he needs to
Game 4: Doug Davis (0-5, 6.38 ERA) vs. Roy Oswalt (3-4, 3.05 ERA)
Despite mediocre numbers against the Cubs in his career, Oswalt has overall good numbers against their current roster. And despite great numbers against the Phils players in his career, Davis has horrendous numbers against baseball teams this season. Davis has yet to give up less than 3 runs in a game, and he has pitched more than 5 innings just once this season. Once again, getting to him early will greatly benefit us, and hopefully we can do just that. It seems like Oswalt is still trying to hit his stride since coming back from everything he's been through this season. You kind of know that he will hit his stride eventually, so why not pick tonight against some very familiar uniforms for him?
Prediction: Phils 6 Cubs 3
Keep an eye out for: a 60% chance of thunderstorms. If this happens, you can throw my prediction out the window. Rain delays really mess stuff up. But maybe, if there is a rain delay, they will instead just go with my predicted result because of the 2 games' worth of evidence I used to make it. Yeah. Let's count on that
I actually do think this is a really good thing, though. With a lot of previews, I have no idea how the Phils or their opponent are going to play against each other. All I have to go off of is statistics that have been compiled over the past 5 years rather than statistics that we've gotten over the past 2 days. This may or may not mean a new trend in a preview of a 4-game series. Rather than previewing, I think a series check-point halfway through is a good idea. Where have we been, and where are we going? Hopefully, because of our successes and failures over the past 48 hours, we can figure out how to limit those to just successes over the next.
Side note before I get into the breakdown: I feel like I have a ton of stuff to write about that I simply haven't gotten a chance because I've basically been limiting myself to previews. For the most part, I plan on keeping things the way they've been this season, but I envision myself having some more time in a little over a week because of the end of school. I think I'm going to kick off my summer with the third edition of the Male Bag, so keep the questions coming! After that, hopefully we can get some more non-series related posts that are more centered on the Phillies in general this season. Previews are OK, but the other stuff is much more fun.
Game 1: Cubs 4 Phillies 3 (11 innings)
I didn't get to watch this entire game because of Trivia Night at The Perk (Interesting fact: the only food that can currently satisfy my hunger is a burger from The Perk. Frustrating? Yes, at times. But overall it's awesome after up to a week-long wait to fully enjoy life again). I did, however, watch the very end of regulation and all of extra innings. In looking back through the box score, one thing jumped out at me. What the heck are we doing with our pitchers? I realize that we had to take Kendrick out after the rain delay, but wouldn't that mean we should be a little more conservative with our bullpen? Check out the innings pitched by some of our relievers: Romero - 1/3; Stutes - 2/3; Bastardo - 2/3; Contreras - 2/3. Contreras, Bastardo, and Stutes should all be pitching 1 inning each. That makes up for one whole inning right there. Romero could barely pitch for the Clearwater Threshers right now, so I won't complain about his 1/3 of an inning. So how did this affect us? With 2 outs and the bases loaded in the bottom of the 10th, we had David Herndon trying to drive in the winning run. He's now 0 for 3 in his career with 3 strikeouts...not exactly our best option. Had we used our bullpen a little better, we would've been in a position to pinch hit.
Also, isn't it funny that we didn't pinch hit here? We're the home team, so the game would be over if we get a hit. I understand the risk of putting all of our eggs into one basket, but you have to feel kind of crappy if you're Wilson Valdez or Ross Gload. Uncle Chuck basically just turned to them and said "Blk...blp...bli, I, uhh, blp, glp... uh, don't, uhh, th-think you can, uh...glp get...get a hit." Thanks for the vote of confidence, Porky. It's not often that we'll lose a game on a Polanco error with Baseball making the last out, though. So you can't feel too bad about this.
Game 2:
Game 1 was a tough one to judge because of the rain delay, but Game 2 seemed to reveal something about the pitching staffs of these two teams right now: They are complete opposites. Through 2 games, the numbers for the starters:
Cubs - 8.2 IP, 10 H, 10 ER, 9 BB, 7 K, 3 HR, 10.38 ERA
Us - 10 IP, 8 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 11 K, 0 HR, 0.00 ERA
And the bullpens:
Cubs - 10.1 IP, 5 H, 0 ER, 5 BB, 10 K, 0 HR, 0.00 ERA
Us - 10 IP, 13 H, 8 ER, 7 BB, 9 K, 1 HR, 7.20 ERA
The only other trend that I really noticed over the course of these 2 games was Starlin Castro loving to hit against us.
So, knowing all of that, I can now make 100% accurate predictions on the next 2 games. I actually heard they might cancel the games in favor of this blog post. Sorry if you had tickets.
Game 3: Matt Garza (2-5, 4.07 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (5-5, 3.62 ERA)
The Phillies will win this game. Why, might you ask? Well, because Cliff Lee is pretty good at keeping his pitch count low, winning or losing. Because of that, we may be able to hold off for awhile on the bullpen. And the Cubs' inability to hit our starting pitchers makes me feel good about their inability to hit Cliff Lee. Although Starlin Castro is the brightest spot in the Cubs' order this series (4 for 10, 2 doubles), Lee has struck him out all 3 times he's faced him. And Starlin Castro doesn't really strike out. Carlos Pena has significant experience against Lee, including 3 homers, but overall is hitting just .207 against him (plus a whopping .067 against lefties this season) and has generally sucked against the Phils (see: 2008 World Series. Don't see: Game 1 of this series). Our bats have been hot early in these past 2 games, so I'm thinking we can get to Garza despite our lack of success against him. One thing that scares the Pittsburgh out of me: the only players with multiple lifetime hits against Garza are Gload (never plays), Francisco (can't hit), and Ibanez (ugh).
Prediction: Phils 5 Cubs 1
Keep an eye out for: Lee going 8 because he needs to
Game 4: Doug Davis (0-5, 6.38 ERA) vs. Roy Oswalt (3-4, 3.05 ERA)
Despite mediocre numbers against the Cubs in his career, Oswalt has overall good numbers against their current roster. And despite great numbers against the Phils players in his career, Davis has horrendous numbers against baseball teams this season. Davis has yet to give up less than 3 runs in a game, and he has pitched more than 5 innings just once this season. Once again, getting to him early will greatly benefit us, and hopefully we can do just that. It seems like Oswalt is still trying to hit his stride since coming back from everything he's been through this season. You kind of know that he will hit his stride eventually, so why not pick tonight against some very familiar uniforms for him?
Prediction: Phils 6 Cubs 3
Keep an eye out for: a 60% chance of thunderstorms. If this happens, you can throw my prediction out the window. Rain delays really mess stuff up. But maybe, if there is a rain delay, they will instead just go with my predicted result because of the 2 games' worth of evidence I used to make it. Yeah. Let's count on that
Monday, June 6, 2011
Pittsburgh Pirates: Welcome to the National League's Basement Stairs
The following post was written by one of my best friends, Benjamin Lawson Follett. Yes, despite being from Pittsburgh, I still consider him one of my best friends. I had the pleasure of attending 2 of the 3 games this past weekend at Pittsburgh's beautiful PNC Park. It was so nice for the baseball fans in Pittsburgh to get to see what winning is this weekend. And by that I do not mean them winning the series, but rather them seeing the Phillies and, thusly, our winning ways being a little too contagious for our own good Friday and Saturday night. In all seriousness, Ben knows more about baseball than I could ever hope to, and he played with Pirates second baseman Neil Walker at some point when he was younger. If that's not awesome, I don't know what is. I know you guys will have no idea how to react to someone else posting, and you will go through gross withdrawal symptoms in reading the next few paragraphs. Good news, though! I posted briefly before this with a Dodgers preview (which you probably should've looked for BEFORE the Dodgers game. It's a preview. Duh), and you can check out my reaction to this series posted on Ben's blog here. Also, let this post serve as an inspiration to anyone who may want to consider writing their own guest blog entry this season. And now I'm shutting up to let Ben say his thing...
I am a Pirate fan. Most of the people who read this great blog would consider themselves Phillies fans. I am OK with that. But before you complain about how you lost 2 of 3 from the Pirates this weekend, please remember that you're team sets the bar at World Championships and mine sets it as winning more than they lose. For those of you who don't know anything about the Pirates, (Side note: I am sure that you know about as much as most typical Pirates fans) let me give you only one piece of history. The Pirates have not had a winning season since 1992. In that year; Bill Clinton was elected president for the first time, Disney's Aladdin was the top grossing movie of the year and Barry Bonds won his 2nd National League MVP award while playing for my Pittsburgh Pirates. The world has changed a lot during that time, but one thing that has remained as constant as death and taxes is the Pirates playing losing baseball. So before you complain about your lack of run scoring (18th in the NL, while the Pirates are 23rd) or the fact that you hate watching your 5th starters throw (because I guess 4 "ace" pitchers aren't enough) you need to walk a few hundred miles in my shoes. I am a Pittsburgh Pirates fan and this is your chance to see how the other side of the state lives.
Game 1: Pirates 2 - Phillies 1
If you read my blog, you would know that I predicted Hamels to beat the Pirates. He pitched well enough to get the win going 8 innings, surrendering only 1 run on 1 hit while striking out 4. The only problem is that Jeff Karstens was able to fool the Phillies' batters for 7 innings. I wasn't able to watch the entire game but Cameron arrived at my house in enough time for us to finish watching the last inning or two and during that time I noticed a few things. First, Placido Polanco is really freakin' good. Guy just makes every play and quite frankly he makes every play look routine. Second, Chase Utley plays second base the way it is meant to be played and third if I had to choose between the Phillies line up and the Pirates line up, I am not sure I would pick the Phillies. Caution. Side Track Ahead. Now I know they are more proven top to bottom but at the end of the day, the only regulars I would want are Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins. Ryan Howard is an obvious pick with the Pirates complete lack of production out of Lyle Overbay and Jimmy Rollins doesn't do a lot for me, but frankly Ronny Cedeno does far less. I know all of you are saying what about Utley, Victorino, Polanco or Ibanez. Well...Utley is coming off the injury and until he proves that he can be healthy and out produce Walker, I'll take Walker. Andrew McCutchen > Shane Victorino, sorry guys check out the stats and the fact that McCutchen is 6 year younger. I'll take Alvarez over Polanco only because I need power and lastly every Pirates outfielder over Ibanez because Raul Ibanez sucks and Cameron hates him so therefore I hate him too. Ok, back to the recap. In extra innings both teams made huge defensive plays that saved the game. In the top of the 10th, Overbay dove to stop a ball from going down the right field line with a runner on second and 1 out allowing the Pirates to get out of the inning. In the bottom of the 10th, Polanco made a nasty charging barehanded play to get the speedy Tabata with a runner on third. However, only one teams defensive gem meant there team would get the win and Friday it was the Pirates. Tabata came to the plate with a runner on second and 2 outs and was able to get a ball past Utley to plate the winning run. Pirates win, much to my surprise. An excellent game that included good defense and great pitching, set the table for what would turn out to be a high-quality weekend series against our cross state rivals.
Game 2: Pirates 6 – Phillies 3
Roy Halladay, I mean Charlie Morton, was on the hill for the Pirates Saturday night and if you asked Cameron, he would have told you that the Phillies didn’t stand a chance. Throughout his outing, Morton was able to keep the Phillies off balance only getting into “trouble” in the first and fourth innings. All that “trouble” amounted to a line that was very Halladay-esque; 7 innings, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB and 5 K’s. Now I know that Charlie Morton does not equal Roy Halladay, but with that being said, having a pitcher who is now 6-2 with a 2.52 ERA, good enough for 4th in the National League is really something to be excited about. Remember, this is the same guy that less than a year ago was 2-12 with a 7.57 ERA. Talk about a transformation and for that a special thanks goes out to Halladay because without him, we wouldn’t have this “new” Charlie Morton. As far as the offense in the game goes, most of it was provided by 3 hit days from Andrew McCutchen and Lyle Overbay. Overbay, who may finally be hitting above his weight, was a home run shy of the cycle and now his average sits at .240. It was also good to see McCutchen, clearly the team’s best hitter, have his 4th consecutive multi-hit game. His average is now up to .273 and he hit .275 in May after hitting just .219 in April. The Phillies amassed 9 hits in the game, but 3 came in the 9th inning when the team scored once off of Joel Hanrahan and as a team the Phillies were 4 for 14 with runners in scoring position. As I have made previously clear, the Phillies can pitch lights out, but their lineup as a whole does not scare me. In order for them to get to their ultimate goal, the World Series, (which I believe they will since, pitching + defense = playoff wins) they are going to need more production out of guys in the middle of their order. I am looking at you Howard, Utley, Brown and yes even you Ibanez. If they can do that, save from the 3 games they play against the Pirates in late July, they should be prime for another World Series run.
Although the Phillies lost Games 1 and 2 of the series, during at our time at the game Cameron and I realized that among the crowd there was another competition going on. No I am not talking about Steelers and Eagles chants but who's team has more "nickname" t-shirt jerseys. We both were in agreement that these jerseys are an abomination and the people who wear them on both sides should be stripped of their fandom. As of Saturday night, the Pirates were losing this game of t-shirt terribleness 5-4. However, the worst nickname jersey award goes to Raul Ibanez for his "Rauuuuuuuuuuuuuul." It takes the cake because it is unoriginal, annoying and in support of a player who stinks. So congratulations Raul Ibanez, and here's hoping that John Mayberry Jr. takes your starting position in left field.
Game 3: Phillies 7 – Pirates 3
At this point in the series, the Pirates were playing with house money. We had won the first two games and in doing so had won the series. Also, it was blatantly obvious that if there was a game the Pirates would have little to no chance of winning during the weekend, it would be Sunday afternoon’s contest against the REAL Roy Halladay. For the most part, Doc did not disappoint. He was touched in the first inning when he left a ball up to Neil Walker who promptly deposited the ball in the seats beyond the right centerfield wall. After that the Phillies offense woke up and James McDonald struggled to throw a single strike in the 4th inning. Really, I am not sure he threw more than 5 and he definetly didn't throw more than 2 in a row. The Phillies got enough runs for Doc in the 4th and 5th innings to take the lead and then added insurance in the 9th to finish the game with a 7-3 victory that was almost identical to the Pirates 6-3 victory the night before.
Overall, the series was pretty evenly played. Pitching dominated all of the games in one way or another with Karstens and Hamels dealing in Game 1, Morton shutting down the Phils in Game 2, and Halladay following suit in Game 3. From watching the games both on tv and in person there are a few observations that I have about this Phillies team:
1. The pitching is dirty and is going to keep your team in any single game throughout the year. I know the Phils don't score a lot of runs right now, but when 4 out of every 5 days you only need to score 3 runs, you are going to win most of those games. Remember winning 2 of 3 all season wins you 108 games, I think that is enough to get into the playoffs.
2. Even though the pitching is as good as it is, the Phillies were miserable with runners on base. They left a combined 32 runners on base in the 3 games. Obviously, that isn't very good. But when you have "four" aces, why worry right?
3. Lastly, every time Dominic Brown stepped to the plate, I peed my pants because I was scared he was going to hit a bomb. He nearly did when he crushed a ball foul in Sunday's game. He's 6'-5 and 205 so he has a little bit of room to add size and if he does combined with the insane amount of bat speed that he generates, he is going to be really freakin' good. Oh and did I mention he is only 23. Wow. Look out National League, Dominic Brown is here to stay. I think a Dominator jersey is already in the works.
It was a great weekend and I am glad your faithful hometown blogger got to come to my beautiful city, eat Primanti's and watch baseball. Too bad Pittsburgh had to prove once again why it continues to be the best part of our great state. 6-3 against the Phillies since the beginning of the 2010 season. Oh yeah, Let's go Bucs!
I am a Pirate fan. Most of the people who read this great blog would consider themselves Phillies fans. I am OK with that. But before you complain about how you lost 2 of 3 from the Pirates this weekend, please remember that you're team sets the bar at World Championships and mine sets it as winning more than they lose. For those of you who don't know anything about the Pirates, (Side note: I am sure that you know about as much as most typical Pirates fans) let me give you only one piece of history. The Pirates have not had a winning season since 1992. In that year; Bill Clinton was elected president for the first time, Disney's Aladdin was the top grossing movie of the year and Barry Bonds won his 2nd National League MVP award while playing for my Pittsburgh Pirates. The world has changed a lot during that time, but one thing that has remained as constant as death and taxes is the Pirates playing losing baseball. So before you complain about your lack of run scoring (18th in the NL, while the Pirates are 23rd) or the fact that you hate watching your 5th starters throw (because I guess 4 "ace" pitchers aren't enough) you need to walk a few hundred miles in my shoes. I am a Pittsburgh Pirates fan and this is your chance to see how the other side of the state lives.
Game 1: Pirates 2 - Phillies 1
If you read my blog, you would know that I predicted Hamels to beat the Pirates. He pitched well enough to get the win going 8 innings, surrendering only 1 run on 1 hit while striking out 4. The only problem is that Jeff Karstens was able to fool the Phillies' batters for 7 innings. I wasn't able to watch the entire game but Cameron arrived at my house in enough time for us to finish watching the last inning or two and during that time I noticed a few things. First, Placido Polanco is really freakin' good. Guy just makes every play and quite frankly he makes every play look routine. Second, Chase Utley plays second base the way it is meant to be played and third if I had to choose between the Phillies line up and the Pirates line up, I am not sure I would pick the Phillies. Caution. Side Track Ahead. Now I know they are more proven top to bottom but at the end of the day, the only regulars I would want are Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins. Ryan Howard is an obvious pick with the Pirates complete lack of production out of Lyle Overbay and Jimmy Rollins doesn't do a lot for me, but frankly Ronny Cedeno does far less. I know all of you are saying what about Utley, Victorino, Polanco or Ibanez. Well...Utley is coming off the injury and until he proves that he can be healthy and out produce Walker, I'll take Walker. Andrew McCutchen > Shane Victorino, sorry guys check out the stats and the fact that McCutchen is 6 year younger. I'll take Alvarez over Polanco only because I need power and lastly every Pirates outfielder over Ibanez because Raul Ibanez sucks and Cameron hates him so therefore I hate him too. Ok, back to the recap. In extra innings both teams made huge defensive plays that saved the game. In the top of the 10th, Overbay dove to stop a ball from going down the right field line with a runner on second and 1 out allowing the Pirates to get out of the inning. In the bottom of the 10th, Polanco made a nasty charging barehanded play to get the speedy Tabata with a runner on third. However, only one teams defensive gem meant there team would get the win and Friday it was the Pirates. Tabata came to the plate with a runner on second and 2 outs and was able to get a ball past Utley to plate the winning run. Pirates win, much to my surprise. An excellent game that included good defense and great pitching, set the table for what would turn out to be a high-quality weekend series against our cross state rivals.
Game 2: Pirates 6 – Phillies 3
Roy Halladay, I mean Charlie Morton, was on the hill for the Pirates Saturday night and if you asked Cameron, he would have told you that the Phillies didn’t stand a chance. Throughout his outing, Morton was able to keep the Phillies off balance only getting into “trouble” in the first and fourth innings. All that “trouble” amounted to a line that was very Halladay-esque; 7 innings, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB and 5 K’s. Now I know that Charlie Morton does not equal Roy Halladay, but with that being said, having a pitcher who is now 6-2 with a 2.52 ERA, good enough for 4th in the National League is really something to be excited about. Remember, this is the same guy that less than a year ago was 2-12 with a 7.57 ERA. Talk about a transformation and for that a special thanks goes out to Halladay because without him, we wouldn’t have this “new” Charlie Morton. As far as the offense in the game goes, most of it was provided by 3 hit days from Andrew McCutchen and Lyle Overbay. Overbay, who may finally be hitting above his weight, was a home run shy of the cycle and now his average sits at .240. It was also good to see McCutchen, clearly the team’s best hitter, have his 4th consecutive multi-hit game. His average is now up to .273 and he hit .275 in May after hitting just .219 in April. The Phillies amassed 9 hits in the game, but 3 came in the 9th inning when the team scored once off of Joel Hanrahan and as a team the Phillies were 4 for 14 with runners in scoring position. As I have made previously clear, the Phillies can pitch lights out, but their lineup as a whole does not scare me. In order for them to get to their ultimate goal, the World Series, (which I believe they will since, pitching + defense = playoff wins) they are going to need more production out of guys in the middle of their order. I am looking at you Howard, Utley, Brown and yes even you Ibanez. If they can do that, save from the 3 games they play against the Pirates in late July, they should be prime for another World Series run.
Although the Phillies lost Games 1 and 2 of the series, during at our time at the game Cameron and I realized that among the crowd there was another competition going on. No I am not talking about Steelers and Eagles chants but who's team has more "nickname" t-shirt jerseys. We both were in agreement that these jerseys are an abomination and the people who wear them on both sides should be stripped of their fandom. As of Saturday night, the Pirates were losing this game of t-shirt terribleness 5-4. However, the worst nickname jersey award goes to Raul Ibanez for his "Rauuuuuuuuuuuuuul." It takes the cake because it is unoriginal, annoying and in support of a player who stinks. So congratulations Raul Ibanez, and here's hoping that John Mayberry Jr. takes your starting position in left field.
Game 3: Phillies 7 – Pirates 3
At this point in the series, the Pirates were playing with house money. We had won the first two games and in doing so had won the series. Also, it was blatantly obvious that if there was a game the Pirates would have little to no chance of winning during the weekend, it would be Sunday afternoon’s contest against the REAL Roy Halladay. For the most part, Doc did not disappoint. He was touched in the first inning when he left a ball up to Neil Walker who promptly deposited the ball in the seats beyond the right centerfield wall. After that the Phillies offense woke up and James McDonald struggled to throw a single strike in the 4th inning. Really, I am not sure he threw more than 5 and he definetly didn't throw more than 2 in a row. The Phillies got enough runs for Doc in the 4th and 5th innings to take the lead and then added insurance in the 9th to finish the game with a 7-3 victory that was almost identical to the Pirates 6-3 victory the night before.
Overall, the series was pretty evenly played. Pitching dominated all of the games in one way or another with Karstens and Hamels dealing in Game 1, Morton shutting down the Phils in Game 2, and Halladay following suit in Game 3. From watching the games both on tv and in person there are a few observations that I have about this Phillies team:
1. The pitching is dirty and is going to keep your team in any single game throughout the year. I know the Phils don't score a lot of runs right now, but when 4 out of every 5 days you only need to score 3 runs, you are going to win most of those games. Remember winning 2 of 3 all season wins you 108 games, I think that is enough to get into the playoffs.
2. Even though the pitching is as good as it is, the Phillies were miserable with runners on base. They left a combined 32 runners on base in the 3 games. Obviously, that isn't very good. But when you have "four" aces, why worry right?
3. Lastly, every time Dominic Brown stepped to the plate, I peed my pants because I was scared he was going to hit a bomb. He nearly did when he crushed a ball foul in Sunday's game. He's 6'-5 and 205 so he has a little bit of room to add size and if he does combined with the insane amount of bat speed that he generates, he is going to be really freakin' good. Oh and did I mention he is only 23. Wow. Look out National League, Dominic Brown is here to stay. I think a Dominator jersey is already in the works.
It was a great weekend and I am glad your faithful hometown blogger got to come to my beautiful city, eat Primanti's and watch baseball. Too bad Pittsburgh had to prove once again why it continues to be the best part of our great state. 6-3 against the Phillies since the beginning of the 2010 season. Oh yeah, Let's go Bucs!
Dodgers Preview
I am going to keep this preview very short. I spent the afternoon working on a reaction to the Pirates series for B Fresh's blog, and hopefully I will be getting his soon so I can post that. So forgive the lack of analysis tonight...I'm short on time.
I want to keep my response to that series pretty light because I'd rather leave it all to Ben, and if you want to read mine you can check out his blog. What I do want to say, though, is HOW AWESOME WERE MY PREDICTIONS?
I said that Friday night was essentially a toss-up, I just picked the Phillies because I picked the Phillies without a great reason.
I predicted 6-1 and McCutchen driving in 3 Saturday night. McCutchen drove in 2 of the Pirates' 6 runs and we lost.
I predicted the opposite on Sunday with Utley doing the damage, and the game was pretty much the opposite of Saturday night with Utley getting 3 hits (although driving in 0 runs)
My reasoning for opposite predictions Saturday and Sunday was the similarity of Morton and Halladay. Their lines:
Morton 7 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K
Halladay 7 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K
Gross.
As for the Dodgers...
Game 1: Ted Lilly (4-4, 4.22 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (4-5, 3.94 ERA)
Cliff pitches much better at The Cit, but facing the lefty Lilly worries me. He has little success in his career against us, though.
Prediction: Phillies 6 Dodgers 2
Keep an eye out for: Cliff going the distance
Game 2: Rubby De La Rosa (1-0, 1.80 ERA) vs. Roy Oswalt (3-3, 2.70 ERA)
Roy Oswalt has awesome career numbers against the Dodgers and their hitters, but how do we stand a chance in this game? The guy's name is RUBBY! How sweet is that?! Rubby's gotta win this one
Prediction: Dodgers 2 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: Rubby throwing a game as perfect as his name. Interpret as you wish
Game 3: Hiroki Kuroda (5-6, 3.46 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (7-2, 2.83 ERA)
This might be a better matchup than Halladay-Josh Johnson. The numbers these guys have against these teams is disgusting. In 4 starts against us, Kuroda is 2-0 and has a 0.68 ERA and has held us to a .084 batting average. He's given up 7 hits and 2 earned runs in 26.2 innings. Compared to that, Hamels sucks against the Dodgers. In 4 starts and 30 innings, he has given up 22 hits (are you kidding me, Cole?) and 5 earned runs (get a job, dude). He's 2-0 with a 1.50 ERA
Prediction: Phillies 1 Dodgers 0 in 10 innings
Keep an eye out for: both pitchers throwing no-hitters through 9 and the Phils scoring 1 run off of a Dodger reliever
I want to keep my response to that series pretty light because I'd rather leave it all to Ben, and if you want to read mine you can check out his blog. What I do want to say, though, is HOW AWESOME WERE MY PREDICTIONS?
I said that Friday night was essentially a toss-up, I just picked the Phillies because I picked the Phillies without a great reason.
I predicted 6-1 and McCutchen driving in 3 Saturday night. McCutchen drove in 2 of the Pirates' 6 runs and we lost.
I predicted the opposite on Sunday with Utley doing the damage, and the game was pretty much the opposite of Saturday night with Utley getting 3 hits (although driving in 0 runs)
My reasoning for opposite predictions Saturday and Sunday was the similarity of Morton and Halladay. Their lines:
Morton 7 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K
Halladay 7 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K
Gross.
As for the Dodgers...
Game 1: Ted Lilly (4-4, 4.22 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (4-5, 3.94 ERA)
Cliff pitches much better at The Cit, but facing the lefty Lilly worries me. He has little success in his career against us, though.
Prediction: Phillies 6 Dodgers 2
Keep an eye out for: Cliff going the distance
Game 2: Rubby De La Rosa (1-0, 1.80 ERA) vs. Roy Oswalt (3-3, 2.70 ERA)
Roy Oswalt has awesome career numbers against the Dodgers and their hitters, but how do we stand a chance in this game? The guy's name is RUBBY! How sweet is that?! Rubby's gotta win this one
Prediction: Dodgers 2 Phillies 0
Keep an eye out for: Rubby throwing a game as perfect as his name. Interpret as you wish
Game 3: Hiroki Kuroda (5-6, 3.46 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (7-2, 2.83 ERA)
This might be a better matchup than Halladay-Josh Johnson. The numbers these guys have against these teams is disgusting. In 4 starts against us, Kuroda is 2-0 and has a 0.68 ERA and has held us to a .084 batting average. He's given up 7 hits and 2 earned runs in 26.2 innings. Compared to that, Hamels sucks against the Dodgers. In 4 starts and 30 innings, he has given up 22 hits (are you kidding me, Cole?) and 5 earned runs (get a job, dude). He's 2-0 with a 1.50 ERA
Prediction: Phillies 1 Dodgers 0 in 10 innings
Keep an eye out for: both pitchers throwing no-hitters through 9 and the Phils scoring 1 run off of a Dodger reliever
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Can't Win 'Em All
That series against the Nationals totally sucked. My hero, Ricky Botallico, stated after the last game that the Phillies really should have gotten swept by the Nats. And, since everything he says is fact, I agree. What a scary thing to say/think. Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Roy Oswalt basically just got swept by the Washington Nationals. And this is them without their best player (Ryan Zimmerman - NOT Jayson Werth). As frustrating and unbelievable as this is, it's also part of the game of baseball. You really can't beat every team every time, especially over the course of a 162-game season. The Nationals are no exception to that.
And neither are our next opponent, the Pirates. When you think of the Pirates, you probably laugh and cringe at the same time. Laugh at how hysterically/historically bad they've been for so long, but cringe at the thought of the city of Pittsburgh and all of its dirtiness, hills, and bridges. Gross. But I'm here to hit you with some shocking news.
To get it out of the way, the most shocking news of all will come first. I am going to Pittsburgh this weekend. Yes, you read that right. I, Cameron Koehler, am going to Pittsburgh, that hell hole 5+ hours across the horrendously paved roads of scenic (read: boring) Pennsylvania. A place that I completely and ruthlessly trash at every opportunity (including opportunities I invent out of nowhere) will be my weekend getaway destination. My silver lining: I have always said that there are only 3 good things about the city of Pittsburgh, and I will get to experience all of them multiple times this weekend. I am going to the Saturday night and Sunday afternoon games, and I guarantee there will be people at the games wearing either Penguins or Steelers attire (since no one actually knows the Pirates exist and they will probably just unknowingly wander into the park...it's not like anyone pays to watch them). So I will get to experience the sweetness that is Pittsburgh sports teams all being the same colors (stop wearing ugly Eagles stuff to Phillies games people!). I am also making it a priority to get to Primanti Bros. at least twice for a tasty sandwich or 6. And I get to spend the weekend at B Fresh's house, catching up on life, talking baseball, going to games, and watching Bull Durham and Little Big League. Despite the location, it should be a perfect weekend.
The problem is, I don't think I can envision this being a perfect weekend for the Phils. This is the other shocking news I have for you. Although I think we can take the series, I am having a difficult time predicting a sweep against an oddly tough Pirates team. Remember how awesome our rotation is? We have a 3.42 ERA as a starting rotation, good for 6th in the majors. The Pirates are 8th at 3.60. Seriously, they are. And their bullpen isn't all that bad, either, placing 11th out of 30 with a 3.25 ERA. Their offense has struggled this season, but they have weapons that can definitely do some real damage this weekend, including Andrew McCutchen and Neil Walker. Together those two lead pretty much every significant offensive stat category for the Pirates, and they are also underratedly awesome players for me in fantasy baseball. Eat that, Jeremiah.
How, might you ask, am I showing any type of respect for the Pittsburgh Pirates? Good question. I give essentially all of the credit to one Benjamin Follett, more affectionately known to me as B Fresh. Inspired by my genius, he writes his own blog about the Pirates, one that admittedly includes much much more baseball knowledge than you would ever expect to get on this bad boy. On Sunday, he and I will be doing guest blog posts for each other as an opposing fan's reaction to the series. Adorable, I know. As adorable as this picture of us from a Phillies game a few years ago? Doubtful. But adorable no less.
And neither are our next opponent, the Pirates. When you think of the Pirates, you probably laugh and cringe at the same time. Laugh at how hysterically/historically bad they've been for so long, but cringe at the thought of the city of Pittsburgh and all of its dirtiness, hills, and bridges. Gross. But I'm here to hit you with some shocking news.
To get it out of the way, the most shocking news of all will come first. I am going to Pittsburgh this weekend. Yes, you read that right. I, Cameron Koehler, am going to Pittsburgh, that hell hole 5+ hours across the horrendously paved roads of scenic (read: boring) Pennsylvania. A place that I completely and ruthlessly trash at every opportunity (including opportunities I invent out of nowhere) will be my weekend getaway destination. My silver lining: I have always said that there are only 3 good things about the city of Pittsburgh, and I will get to experience all of them multiple times this weekend. I am going to the Saturday night and Sunday afternoon games, and I guarantee there will be people at the games wearing either Penguins or Steelers attire (since no one actually knows the Pirates exist and they will probably just unknowingly wander into the park...it's not like anyone pays to watch them). So I will get to experience the sweetness that is Pittsburgh sports teams all being the same colors (stop wearing ugly Eagles stuff to Phillies games people!). I am also making it a priority to get to Primanti Bros. at least twice for a tasty sandwich or 6. And I get to spend the weekend at B Fresh's house, catching up on life, talking baseball, going to games, and watching Bull Durham and Little Big League. Despite the location, it should be a perfect weekend.
The problem is, I don't think I can envision this being a perfect weekend for the Phils. This is the other shocking news I have for you. Although I think we can take the series, I am having a difficult time predicting a sweep against an oddly tough Pirates team. Remember how awesome our rotation is? We have a 3.42 ERA as a starting rotation, good for 6th in the majors. The Pirates are 8th at 3.60. Seriously, they are. And their bullpen isn't all that bad, either, placing 11th out of 30 with a 3.25 ERA. Their offense has struggled this season, but they have weapons that can definitely do some real damage this weekend, including Andrew McCutchen and Neil Walker. Together those two lead pretty much every significant offensive stat category for the Pirates, and they are also underratedly awesome players for me in fantasy baseball. Eat that, Jeremiah.
How, might you ask, am I showing any type of respect for the Pittsburgh Pirates? Good question. I give essentially all of the credit to one Benjamin Follett, more affectionately known to me as B Fresh. Inspired by my genius, he writes his own blog about the Pirates, one that admittedly includes much much more baseball knowledge than you would ever expect to get on this bad boy. On Sunday, he and I will be doing guest blog posts for each other as an opposing fan's reaction to the series. Adorable, I know. As adorable as this picture of us from a Phillies game a few years ago? Doubtful. But adorable no less.
(He has a wife. And I'm searching for one. No worries people)
So you guys have that to look forward to. As for what to look forward to in this series...
Game 1: Cole Hamels (7-2, 3.01 ERA) vs. Jeff Karstens (3-4, 3.58 ERA)
This matchup looks lopsided at first glance, but it should be a much better game than you might initially think. Hamels has been excellent this season, and he has gotten wins as a result. Karstens has been no slouch, though. With a 3-4 record you may assume he hasn't been very good, but he has only given up more than 2 earned runs twice this season, and one of those times was only 3 earned runs. This includes 8 starts at 4 relief appearances this season. His losses, though, have come in mostly either close games or games that he has at least kept close while pitching. It can be blamed mostly on a lack of run support, something that Hamels can definitely relate to over the years. We don't have a lot of experience against him, but I think that Hamels is a winner this season and Karstens just happens to be an unfortunate loser. Winners win and losers lose. So I'll go with that.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Pirates 1
Keep an eye out for: Jimmy leading off the series with a home run. Let's gooo!!!!
Game 2: Kyle Kendrick (3-3, 3.18 ERA) vs. Charlie Morton (5-2, 2.51 ERA)
This matchup occurred last season, and in my preview of it then, I mentioned that the only thing Charlie Morton had going for him as a baseball player was his name. I did a pretty nice job of predicting that game, and you can see by clicking on that first link that we handled him pretty easily. Well, I cannot cite any statistics that we have against Morton for this game because he is a completely different pitcher. Not only does he sound like a baseball player, but he now looks like one. He spent the offseason studying our very own Roy Halladay, and he now looks exactly the same with his delivery. His stats have followed suit as well. Don't look now, but he actually has a better ERA than Doc. Say whaaattt?! Good luck Kendrick. You'll need it.
Prediction: Pirates 6 Phillies 1
Keep an eye out for: McCutchen breaking his 0 for 6 career against Kendrick by driving in half of Pittsburgh's runs
Game 3: Roy Halladay (7-3, 2.56 ERA) vs. James McDonald (3-3, 4.85 ERA)
I wish McDonald and Kendrick faced off one game and Halladay and Morton the other. We could have our best against theirs and our worst against theirs. Those would make for much more exciting games. James McDonald has been better lately with a 2.86 ERA in May, but I still don't feel very intimidated by him. Especially with Halladay out there. Since this is the opposite matchup from yesterday, we'll go with opposite results.
Prediction: Phillies 6 Pirates 1
Keep an eye out for: Me! Sitting about 20 rows behind home plate. That doesn't seem like the kind of spot in the crowd you'd see on TV, but oh well. Also, Utley doing well? I predicted that throughout the last series, and that didn't work out so well. We'll give it one more try for this game. Like McCutchen yesterday, he drives in half the runs for the winning team.
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