The Much-Anticipated Phillies Drinking Game

I will start this out by once again saying that this is a family-friendly blog. But the fact of the matter is, there's nothing quite like watching a baseball game with beer in hand on a nice summer day. And considering the first alcoholic beer (thanks O'Doul's!) I ever had was at the clinching of the 2008 World Series (my 21st birthday - yay laws!), my creation of a Phillies drinking game could probably be thought of as more nostalgic and heart-warming than juvenile and borderline drinking-problematic (here's to inventing terms!).

Also, it's probably not much-anticipated by you at all, mainly because you had no idea I had been cooking this up. But I knew, so I have been anticipating this day for years now (sadly true).

But before I get to the actual rules of said drinking game, there is a reason behind this, and it does have to do with a recap of our 4-game sweep of the Padres. First of all, how freak nasty was that series? Our pitching looked just about flawless, and even our worst moments at the plate (Howard going 0-4 with 4 Ks in 2 different games) ended up being not so bad at all (Howard hitting a game-winning double after that 4 strikeout start in game 3). I feel great about myself for predicting 2 shutouts and getting them, including my Cole Hamels prediction of dominance. I also accurately predicted Blanton's portion of game 3, but our bullpen held strong and got us that win so we actually could get a sweep, despite my thoughts. Also, Roy bounced back strong after a rough outing last time. It may seem like all I'm doing right now is bragging about the accuracy of my predictions, and that's because I am. Seriously, way to go me.

And now, to draw out the unveiling of the rules of this drinking game a little longer, here are the reasons that I am posting it today. First of all, throughout this series, anyone could have gotten absolutely obliterated by taking a drink any time the size of the park was talked about. And that's probably the only way someone could stand to listen to Christopher Wheeler talk about it for 24 innings over 4 games (I know there are 9 innings in a game, but he only calls 6 of them. Come on, stay with me here). As I notice recurring things like this in Phillies games, I, for some odd reason, always think of creating a drinking game (I swear I'm nowhere close to an alcoholic). Also, someone just told me today about the creation of a Christopher Wheeler drinking game. This can be found online, but I will not link you to it because I think my game will be better. And without the presence of other drinking games, I think it is time that I reveal mine that I have been semi working on for the past 2 seasons now. So, without further ado, here are your rules:

WARNING: I HAVE NOT YET TRIED THIS GAME MYSELF

You should definitely only use beer for this game because using anything else means you're drinking too much. And beer and baseball just go together.

Take 1 drink any time
-Shane Victorino is shown talking/laughing with/at teammates
-Jimmy Rollins swings at the first pitch
-The shift is mentioned when Ryan Howard is up to bat
-Raul Ibanez nearly falls over or loses his helmet while swinging the bat
-Chooch throws someone out who is stealing
-Wilson Valdez grounds into a double play
-a Phillies pitcher records a strikeout
-a Phillies player hits a solo home run
-Thomas McCarthy says "How 'bout that"
-Christopher Wheeler discusses the size of a ballpark
-Christopher Wheeler talks about an opposing player having a lot of success against the Phillies or a Phillies player over the years
-Christopher Wheeler smugly gives everyone a lesson in baseball history like it's no big deal
-Sarge talks about when he used to play
-Charlie Manuel is shown and you can't tell whether he is talking or chewing gum

Take 2 drinks any time
-a Phillies player hits a 2-run home run
-Jimmy Rollins is shown laughing/smiling after he does something bad
-Christopher Wheeler gets into a debate with either Thomas McCarthy, the official scorers, or himself on whether or not something should be scored an error
-a Phillies outfielder throws someone out going home

Take 3 drinks any time
-a Phillies player hits a 3-run home run
-Placido Polanco commits an error
-the opposing team hits a home run
-there is talk of Sarge's hat(s)
-Christopher Wheeler talks about a pitcher being a good athlete

Finish your beer any time
-Sarge mentions "GaRy MaDdOx"
-the Phillies hit a grand slam
-the Phillies win in walk-off fashion
-one of my predictions is completely accurate

This game should never be played in a car, hence the lack of Larry Anderson or Scott Franzke rules. And hence the laws against drinking and driving

I am sure there are a lot of other good things that could be included, but I had to eliminate some of them so you're not drinking non-stop for the entire game.

I would encourage those of you who are of age to give this a try and let me know how it goes. Also, let me know of any rules that you feel should/could be added. It's a work in progress (if you ignore the fact that I may never work on it again). I have been getting a lot of Male Bag material recently, and any comments you have on the drinking game would definitely be worthy of a Male Bag inclusion. Remember to keep emailing me, texting me, calling me, or whatever with your questions and comments. I really appreciate the few that have been coming in, and I make it a point to personally respond to every blog-related email that I get. What can I say, I'm a man of the people. cskoehler5@gmail.com

Please do not abuse this drinking game. As a personal rule, drinking in the form of a game means that you can't possibly have a drinking problem. Therefore, if you find yourself consuming so much alcohol while playing this that some may consider it a problem, you should probably stop. It's just a game people, don't it ruin your life as much as my gambling problem has ruined mine. Am I joking? Maybe.

It has been brought to my attention that the links included in many of the blog entries will take you directly to that other page rather than opening in a new window. My suggestion for this would be to right-click on the link and open it in a new tab or window. I would definitely encourage you to click on them. They definitely add something to the experience,