So Backwoods

In no way am I condoning the act of smoking cigars. This is a family friendly, drug-free blog. But from people I've talked to who have smoked cigars, apparently a small bag filled with 8 frayed brown sticks that leave paper traces all through your mouth for the small price of 4.99 is a sight of pure joy. There's nothing quite like that sweet aromatic taste in your mouth, especially the night of and morning after when you need to brush your teeth for 4-5 minutes to feel slightly normal again. Or at least that's what I hear.

For all the men out there: You know what I'm talking about.
For all the women: Ugh. So gross. Am I right?!

Either way, these cigars are so ghetto looking that people have been known to put them in their mouths backwards. So, smoke a Backwoods backwards. After something like this, the term "backwoods" naturally becomes synonymous with "backwards." And all of a sudden anything that's grossly unexpected could be described as "backwoods."

If you go back and read my season preview, you will see that this season should have been filled with 2-1 and 3-0 wins for the Phillies. Our pitching is what will get us to the promised land - let's just hope our hitting can keep up.

Well, so far, this season has been so backwoods. Take a look at these stats after 6 games:

ERA - 4.80 (22nd in baseball)
Runs scored - 32 (6th in baseball)
Batting average against - .272 (24th in baseball)
Batting average - .337 (2nd in baseball)

If you told me those were going to be our numbers, I would guess that it was 2002 and Robert Person was starting every game for us (Note: although Person pitched well in that game, he sucked the rest of the season).

It's been a pretty backwoods year for a lot of teams around the league. The AL-favorite Red Sox are 0-6. So are the Rays. Elsewhere in the AL East, the Orioles are 4-1 and in first place going into tonight's game. The Pirates just beat the Cardinals in a series in St. Louis (which one of my best friends has been writing an awesome blog about that you should check out). The Giants also can't seem to get on track, starting this season 2-4. Talk about backwoods.

And perhaps most backwoods of all has been everyone's overreaction to Cole's rough outing Tuesday night. I feel like everyone has jumped all over him and assumed that he can't handle his spot as the 4th starter in our rotation. "Hamels better get his act together or we'll be in trouble!"..."I've always hated him"...and worst of all "He had too many games like this last season, too"

Are you insane?! He had a 3.06 ERA last season, and his 12-11 record did not at all show what he could have done with any type of support. And if you look at that horrifyingly long and painful 3rd inning, the reason it was so horrifyingly long and painful was because of singles, singles, and more singles. I would rather see Cole get beat by a bloop to left-center and a ball getting between Polanco and Rollins than see people like Angel Pagan belting doubles off the wall and Scott Hairston smacking home runs off the Budweiser sign with Cole out on the mound. There is no need to worry about this at all. If there's anything to worry about, it's losing a 7-run lead. Although I don't expect perfection from our pitchers, and certainly not from Joe Blanton, I definitely expect a lead of 4-5 runs or more to be more than safe.

Overall, it ended up being a fun series after a shaky first 3 innings of it. After just 1 run in game 1, we bounced back big time in games 2 and 3, a good way to head into an important early-season series in Atlanta. Look for the preview tomorrow. Remember, do not hesitate to shoot me an email with any questions, comments, or random anything about the Phillies or life in general. (Shoot me an email. Hilarious)