High Hopes Glossary

I've been doing a blog (kind of) for about a year now. I've also been living in this world for over 22 years. If you have come in late on either one of these things, a good number of the things I say may make absolutely no sense. Plus there may be some new stuff this year that won't make any sense unless explained. To help out with that, I'm providing you with the High Hopes / Cameron Koehler glossary. Because most of what I say is spoken like a 12-year-old who mostly talks to himself.

Word/Term - Definition

Baseball - Chase Utley; Chase Utley is baseball

Big Man - what first baseman Ryan Howard can be referred to as

Chase Utley - see "Baseball"

Cheese - one of my best friends and roommates from Penn State. Last year it was a goal to make him a die-hard Phillies fan. Although he is a fan, he is far from die-hard. That quest is for the most part over, but his fandom is appreciated either way

Chooch - catcher Carlos Ruiz; any time Ruiz is doing well, this time can be referred to as "Choochtober"

Christopher Wheeler - horrendous member of the Phillies television broadcast team; the color commentator for the 1st through 3rd as well as 7th through 9th innings; commonly referred to as "Wheels" by others, but I call him by his full name because I feel his abilities in no way warrant a nickname

The Cit - Citizens Bank Park, site of the Philadelphia Phillies' home games; greatest place on Earth

Dippin' Dots - (1) this year's new term referring to the minor leaguers in the Phillies system, with whom I am obsessed
(2) the ice cream of the future

The Drunk - (1) what Jayson Werth has been known as since the 2008 World Series parade; can also be referred to as "J Dub"
(2) Phillies right fielder who can be identified by the constant drool rolling down the center of his chin in the form of hair

Dukes - one of the biggest contributor's to this blog in terms of comments and intelligence; the biggest and greatest Phillies fan I have ever met

Fishing with dynamite - a phrase used to describe something that is not fair. For example: The Phillies getting Roy Halladay is not even fair. It's like fishing with dynamite!
Origin: the movie Wedding Crashers
*nearly replaced by the phrase "trading for Pujols" when trading Ryan Howard for Albert Pujols was discussed. This variation failed to stick when the trade talks subsided quickly

Freak nasty - see "Nasty"

James Calvin - what Phillies' shortstop Jimmy Rollins is referred to as when I am upset with him, which can be very often. This reflects his lack of deserving any type of nickname at those times

Jeremiah - my brother-in-law, with whom I talk to about the Phillies more than anyone. Many of my blog ideas come from conversations with him, so he is mentioned quite a bit

Jesus Christ - Tampa Bay Rays pitcher David Price; a term unintentionally coined by ESPN analysts during the 2008 World Series when it was revealed by several of them that Price can, in fact, walk on water and has come to Earth to save everyone

Joe Camel - reserve outfielder for the Phillies, also known as Ben Francisco. If you don't think he looks like the character Joe Camel of the cigarettes, I have taken some liberties with MS Paint to show you that you cannot actually tell the difference when a Phillies uniform is put on said character. (side note: this picture is the greatest thing I have ever done)

Majoke - word referring to something that is a joke, but even worse usually. For example: James Calvin Rollins swinging at the first pitch of every game is a big majoke

Naked Mole Rat - Phillies hairless left fielder Raul Ibanez. Can also be referred to as simply "Naked"

Nasty - a word I use probably way too much. This always means something positive. When something is extremely awesome, it can be referred to as "freak nasty"

Sarge - Phillies color commentator for the 4th, 5th, and 6th innings on television. Originally hated by yours truly, has now become my favorite member of the television broadcast team. A lethal mixture of Bill Cosby, Christopher Walken, and Scooby Doo. His random inflection and constant need for emphasizing pointless syllables causes any of his quotes tO bE tYpEd LiKe ThIs

Thomas McCarthy - the atrocious play-by-play announcer for the Phillies television broadcast team. A Mets fan at heart, he is often referred to as T-Mac. I do not refer to him as T-Mac because (a) he sucks, and (b) that nickname is far too athletic

Uncle Chuck - referring to Phillies manager Charlie Manuel. Most often used when he makes a stupid decision but it turns out for the best. For example: Uncle Chuck pinch-hitting with James Calvin after sitting him for not hustling was a big majoke. But I guess it's fine since he hit a walk-off home run.