I am deciding to forego recapping the Diamondbags series because it was painful. And I partially blame myself for this one because I randomly sprung all of this hostility on Arizona without any real warning or reason. I called them "just generally losers" and said that it would be "very difficult to lose to the D-Bags;" not to mention the fact that I started calling them the Diamondbags just so I could call them a bunch of D-bags. Yes, Diamondbags, this came out of nowhere, and for that I feel slight remorse. It has now been established, though, and, because of that, it will continue. The fact is, I do not really hate the D-bags (the baseball team) at all. At least no more than any other Phillies opponent. I just think they are easy to make fun of. But I had never done that so extremely before, and no one was truly prepared for it. Here is a picture of the Diamondbags clubhouse just hours before gametime on Monday. If you look closely, you can see that someone printed out my series preview, made copies, and posted one inside each players' locker. Talk about bulletin board material. Boy am I embarrassed. This is my formal apology to all Phillies players, fans, managers, staff, family members, friends, mascots, administrators, pets, servants, and fantasy baseball managers. I should not have awoken the sleeping giant that is the Arizona Diamondbacks. (I feel in this formal apology I should use their official name) From here on out, though, they will forever be known as the Diamondbags, and there will be no reason for them to be so mean to us next time. They crushed my dog's (high) hopes** and dreams by causing us to lose our first series since getting his new Phillies collar. Granted this was the first full series that he had it, but crushed no less.
Now on to the Mets series. I can trash talk them all I want because they suck horribly and they could never be in any way successful enough for me to feel at all threatened by them. Sure they gave us our first loss of the season. But they also gave us this. And, if I'm not mistaken, this. And, undoubtedy, this.
Game 1: Mike Pelfrey (1-2, 7.23 ERA) vs. Vance Worley (0-0, -.-- ERA)
Mike Pelfrey is the Mets' ace.
Prediction: Phillies 22 Mets 0
Keep an eye out for: Worley taking Blanton's spot in the rotation by throwing a no-hitter.****
Game 2: Jon Niese (1-3, 5.10 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (3-1, 2.41 ERA)
Dear Jon Niese -
I see how difficult your life is. You play for the Mets. You have to pitch against the Phillies. You gave up 6 runs in 4 innings of an 11-0 loss the first time you played us this season. You play for the Mets. You are facing Roy Halladay (5-0, 2.09 ERA in 5 starts against the Mets since joining us here in lovely Philadelphia) in this second game of what is sure to be another series loss for your team (6 out of 9 so far). And (did I mention?) that team is the Mets. I would encourage you to not be so offended by my blog, though. I do appreciate you reading it, and I would hope you could do me a favor and maybe tell a few Phillies players about it during the series this weekend. But really, Jon, it's not personal. I realize how bad things are for you. I mean, you play for the Mets. Yikes! But once again, thanks.
Sincerely,
Cam
Sorry, but I felt I had to make a personal shoutout to the one individual major league player (as opposed to the entire Diamondbags team) who I know reads my blog. How do I know he reads my blog? Well, how else do you explain his name? If you never click on a link in your life, click on this one anyway to my first Mets preview and look at what I wrote about the Mets' pitcher in game 3. I'm in his head! He's shook! Maybe he'll be better now that he's less of an idiot, but his life still sucks for the most part. I mean, come on, he's a Met.
Prediction: Phillies 6 Mets 0
Keep an eye out for: Roy finally closing out a shutout.
Game 3: TBD (the Mets suck) vs. Cliff Lee (2-2, 4.18 ERA)
Cliff looked good in his last start. He was striking people out like it was his job (mostly because it is) and, aside from a few home runs, he looked very sharp. The Phillies really just needed to give him SOME type of run support in that game. It seems anyone could have pitched as well as possible, and it wouldn't have mattered when we could only muster****** 3 hits. Opposing Cliff Lee is no one yet, and that's because the Mets suck. They aren't even good at figuring out starters. Blanton went on the DL and we had a replacement named before you could say "The term 'disabled list' is hilarious."
Prediction: Phillies 4 Mets 0
Keep an eye out for: Shutting the Mets out in the series. Because they suck. Oh wow how they suck. Plus, they did it to us once last season, and I don't like that.
In other, non-Mets news, I feel like the Roy Oswalt situation should be addressed. Although this blog is generally a place for sarcasm and jokes, I think it is seriously such a great thing that Roy is taking this time to make sure his family is in good shape. And it is great of the Phillies organization to let this happen. I would encourage everyone to keep the Oswalt family in your prayers. Roy will be back whenever he is ready, and I don't even want to speculate on a timetable the more I think about it. There is honestly no reason to worry about the success of the Phillies in his absence because, if nothing else, this situation should show us the importance of the world outside of sports and the insignificance of Phillies wins and losses in the broader scope of life.
Please remember to submit your ideas for a High Hopes tagline. I have gotten a few submissions so far, but I still haven't gotten YOURS. You know I do this for free right? I take hours out of my life to research these other teams and to watch every Phillies game and analyze every box score so I can provide for you some insight on the Phillies in a light-hearted way. My salary is the smile of every reader. But that smile is a lot harder to see when you don't email me. cskoehler5@gmail.com********
**Use the title of the blog in every post from now on? Challenge: Accepted!
****OK so I actually want to say more about this game but I left it so brief for the comedic effect (classic Cam...anything for a laugh). We have a lot of experience against Pelfrey and have been known to hit him around on occasion. He's also been battling flu like symptoms (aka he has a weak mind and can't think sickness away like I do) so he could be less effective due to that. And Ryan Howard will hopefully jump all over that because I picked him today for MLB.com's Beat The Streak (the easiest (or hardest) 5.6 million dollars I'll ever make). Meanwhile, we are giving Vance Worley his 3rd career start in place of the DL'd Joe Blanton. Worley is, in all honesty, campaigning with this start (and probably Joe's next one) to be our 5th starter if Joe gets traded or anyone is injured for an extended period of time. So that no-hit, 22-0 win will really benefit him.
******Muster is such an awesome word
********You're right, I can't see your smile even if you do email me. And who am I kidding? Take time out of my life? Anyone have any giant sugar cubes for my high horse? This is my life, and I love it whether you justify that love or not**********
**********But please justify it. Email me. cskoehler5@gmail.com************
************I think I'm gonna have to start using footnotes with numbers rather than a billion asterisks. Plus typing out "asterisks" makes me say the word in my mind and that is a sucky word to say.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Diamondbacks Preview
Before I start previewing this series with the Diamondbacks, there are a few blog-related things that should be addressed.
As some of you may have seen in the comments for the drinking game, there was a suggestion that I change the blog's picture. While this idea is sort of insane, especially considering the person who suggested it may or may not have even known it was a picture of Harry Kalas, I also kind of like the idea.
Since the blog has been taking off recently and gaining international fame (although this is sarcastic, I did get an email from someone in Afghanistan!), I figure things should be taken to the next level. We can make things on here a little more official. We have an official title obviously (which, I recently discovered, is actually the title of another Phillies blog...things could get dicey if I get too famous), and I have actually created an official logo that I'll put up soon (which probably will end up violating some type of copyrights or something). What I am missing here though, is an official tagline for the blog. Something like "High Hopes: The Blog I Can Eat a Sandwich With." That's just an example of sort of what I am looking for. I don't want it to be the actual tagline because I don't know if it makes any sense.
But what I'm getting at here is that I want YOU to come up with some ideas for me that I can then choose from (or have you choose from!). So, please, tell me what you get out of this blog. When you click on "High Hopes" in your favorites bar (if it's not in there, what are you doing?), what do you come expecting to see or read? Would a tagline for you be something like "All Phillies All the Time"?** I doubt it because I know people who read this that couldn't really care less and only want to hear my random ranting about nothing. Is it something like "All Cam All the Time"? I hope not because I do try to stick to mostly Phillies talk. So there's gotta be something in between that sums this blog up for you in about 5 or 6 words or so. So please please please let me know your ideas, whether it be via text, email, comments, or whatever. If your submission gets chosen, you will receive a special shout-out on the blog in which I write a paragraph saying how great you are (unless you don't want that, then probably just your name. Unless you don't want that, then probably nothing because you hate attention. Which probably makes sense because if you're so clever and witty and good with words then why don't YOU have a hilarious and awesome blog? So your secret is safe with me. Unless you want that paragraph thing. That's still OK too). If your submission is up for consideration, I will still mention your name along with that consideration (unless you're embarrassed by your submission. But don't be! It was great, I promise!). And if your submission sucked but you still sent it in, I will still put your name because I won't think that any of them suck because I'm too excited that you cared enough to suggest something.
I often think very highly of myself, but I appreciate how many of you try to keep me grounded by never giving me any feedback for this blog despite how many great comments and questions you have. I am going to tell you to be selfish in this case, though, and give me some suggestions for this tagline competition. You can stop thinking of me this once and let your ideas be heard. I am guessing that about 7 people read this blog semi-consistently (once a season), and so I would expect all 7 of you to submit at least one idea (so 7 total). That will give me some good options to choose from, and it will allow me to get a good glimpse at my loyal readership. Even if you feel like this isn't really your thing, just think outside the box and get your creative juices flowing and any other cliché that has to do with coming up with new ideas. If all else fails, just do what I do and spend every waking hour only thinking about what you are going to post here. I'm hoping we can come up with this tagline within about a week or so. It shouldn't be that tough, just say whatever you think about the blog but in a more catchy way. Easy, right? In case I haven't posted it enough, here is my email: cskoehler5@gmail.com
Now on to the actual preview of the Diamondbacks series. First of all, it's fun to call them the Diamondbags instead of the Diamondbacks simply because Diamondbacks is abbreviated as D-Backs so often. I'll let you pick up on that hilarity on your own.
The D-Bags (OK, so I did the work for you) started this season 8-8 but are losers of their last 4 games (and are just generally losers). And the last 3 of those are to the Mets! Holy horrible! But really, their best hitter so far this season is JD Drew's brother, and their starters' ERAs range from 4.98 to 6.65. We've won 5 straight, and winning 8 in a row is very difficult in the game of baseball. But it also seems very difficult to lose to the D-Bags with the matchups we've been given.
Game 1: Cliff Lee (2-1, 3.91 ERA) vs. Ian Kennedy (2-1, 5.64 ERA)
There's really no one on the Diamondbags with any type of success against Cliff Lee except Willie Bloomquist, and who the heck is that? Cliff has yet to fully commit to dominance this season, and I am thinking is has to happen sometime soon. Why not this game? Although the Phil haven't exactly rocked Ian Kennedy in the past, he hasn't exactly rocked opponents in the present.
Prediction: Phillies 7 Diamondbags 1
Keep an eye out for: Ryan Howard going deep. (I was going to say going deep twice, but do these predictions always have to be something crazy? I don't think so, so I'm gonna stick with one home run. Unless he hits 2, then you all are witnesses to my thoughts)
Game 2: Roy Oswalt (3-0, 1.88 ERA) vs. Daniel Hudson (0-4, 5.92 ERA)
This game could pose the biggest problem for our bats simply due to a lack of experience against Hudson. If I know one thing about inexperienced and mediocre pitchers, I know that they generally do well against the Phillies. Unfortunately for Arizona, Oswalt has been arguably our best pitcher this season (can't say I'm surprised by that). Roy does not seem like the kind of guy who ever has a bad game (knock on wood****)
Prediction: Phillies 3 Diamondbags 2
Keep an eye out for: A 1-2-3-4-5-6 8th and 9th inning by Madson and Contreras
Game 3: Cole Hamels (2-1, 2.92 ERA) vs. Joe Saunders (0-2, 4.98 ERA)
This one could turn into a slugfest. With a 93º and sunny forecast in Arizona, it seems to me like having the home run-happy-Hamels on the mound could be dangerous. I'm thinking he only gets through 5 innings here but we simply outhit the D-Bags on our way to a second consecutive series sweep. We don't have a lot of players with good numbers against Saunders, but balls will be flying out of Chase Field. And speaking of Chase Field, I hate that Baseball is not playing in this series because of how fun it is when he does well to say that they named the park after him.
Prediction: Phillies 11 Diamondbags 7
Keep an eye out for: my exploding head due to how many times Christopher Wheeler mentions "hittin' weather" while quoting Charlie Manuel and cracking himself up
**I hate when I use quotes at the end of a sentence because I'm pretty sure that grammatically it is correct to put the punctuation inside the quotes. But I also think that makes things look weird sometimes, so I just end up sort of alternating when I do it. Whenever I have to use a question mark or something other than a period, that's almost a guarantee that I will throw grammar to the wind and put that punctuation on the outside. Can anyone tell me what is the correct thing to do here? Am I doing this right? And if you know this rule, do you totally hate me for ignoring it on a whim? My apologies.
****Do you know why people knock on wood when they say things like that so as to not jinx them? It's because evil spirits are said to live in wood, and you want to knock while you say something like that so they do not hear you and try to mess up your awesome life. I tried to do a little research on this (aka went to wikipedia) and couldn't even find that explanation. I know I have heard that before, though, and it makes total sense. Always teaching, Cam. Always teaching.
As some of you may have seen in the comments for the drinking game, there was a suggestion that I change the blog's picture. While this idea is sort of insane, especially considering the person who suggested it may or may not have even known it was a picture of Harry Kalas, I also kind of like the idea.
Since the blog has been taking off recently and gaining international fame (although this is sarcastic, I did get an email from someone in Afghanistan!), I figure things should be taken to the next level. We can make things on here a little more official. We have an official title obviously (which, I recently discovered, is actually the title of another Phillies blog...things could get dicey if I get too famous), and I have actually created an official logo that I'll put up soon (which probably will end up violating some type of copyrights or something). What I am missing here though, is an official tagline for the blog. Something like "High Hopes: The Blog I Can Eat a Sandwich With." That's just an example of sort of what I am looking for. I don't want it to be the actual tagline because I don't know if it makes any sense.
But what I'm getting at here is that I want YOU to come up with some ideas for me that I can then choose from (or have you choose from!). So, please, tell me what you get out of this blog. When you click on "High Hopes" in your favorites bar (if it's not in there, what are you doing?), what do you come expecting to see or read? Would a tagline for you be something like "All Phillies All the Time"?** I doubt it because I know people who read this that couldn't really care less and only want to hear my random ranting about nothing. Is it something like "All Cam All the Time"? I hope not because I do try to stick to mostly Phillies talk. So there's gotta be something in between that sums this blog up for you in about 5 or 6 words or so. So please please please let me know your ideas, whether it be via text, email, comments, or whatever. If your submission gets chosen, you will receive a special shout-out on the blog in which I write a paragraph saying how great you are (unless you don't want that, then probably just your name. Unless you don't want that, then probably nothing because you hate attention. Which probably makes sense because if you're so clever and witty and good with words then why don't YOU have a hilarious and awesome blog? So your secret is safe with me. Unless you want that paragraph thing. That's still OK too). If your submission is up for consideration, I will still mention your name along with that consideration (unless you're embarrassed by your submission. But don't be! It was great, I promise!). And if your submission sucked but you still sent it in, I will still put your name because I won't think that any of them suck because I'm too excited that you cared enough to suggest something.
I often think very highly of myself, but I appreciate how many of you try to keep me grounded by never giving me any feedback for this blog despite how many great comments and questions you have. I am going to tell you to be selfish in this case, though, and give me some suggestions for this tagline competition. You can stop thinking of me this once and let your ideas be heard. I am guessing that about 7 people read this blog semi-consistently (once a season), and so I would expect all 7 of you to submit at least one idea (so 7 total). That will give me some good options to choose from, and it will allow me to get a good glimpse at my loyal readership. Even if you feel like this isn't really your thing, just think outside the box and get your creative juices flowing and any other cliché that has to do with coming up with new ideas. If all else fails, just do what I do and spend every waking hour only thinking about what you are going to post here. I'm hoping we can come up with this tagline within about a week or so. It shouldn't be that tough, just say whatever you think about the blog but in a more catchy way. Easy, right? In case I haven't posted it enough, here is my email: cskoehler5@gmail.com
Now on to the actual preview of the Diamondbacks series. First of all, it's fun to call them the Diamondbags instead of the Diamondbacks simply because Diamondbacks is abbreviated as D-Backs so often. I'll let you pick up on that hilarity on your own.
The D-Bags (OK, so I did the work for you) started this season 8-8 but are losers of their last 4 games (and are just generally losers). And the last 3 of those are to the Mets! Holy horrible! But really, their best hitter so far this season is JD Drew's brother, and their starters' ERAs range from 4.98 to 6.65. We've won 5 straight, and winning 8 in a row is very difficult in the game of baseball. But it also seems very difficult to lose to the D-Bags with the matchups we've been given.
Game 1: Cliff Lee (2-1, 3.91 ERA) vs. Ian Kennedy (2-1, 5.64 ERA)
There's really no one on the Diamondbags with any type of success against Cliff Lee except Willie Bloomquist, and who the heck is that? Cliff has yet to fully commit to dominance this season, and I am thinking is has to happen sometime soon. Why not this game? Although the Phil haven't exactly rocked Ian Kennedy in the past, he hasn't exactly rocked opponents in the present.
Prediction: Phillies 7 Diamondbags 1
Keep an eye out for: Ryan Howard going deep. (I was going to say going deep twice, but do these predictions always have to be something crazy? I don't think so, so I'm gonna stick with one home run. Unless he hits 2, then you all are witnesses to my thoughts)
Game 2: Roy Oswalt (3-0, 1.88 ERA) vs. Daniel Hudson (0-4, 5.92 ERA)
This game could pose the biggest problem for our bats simply due to a lack of experience against Hudson. If I know one thing about inexperienced and mediocre pitchers, I know that they generally do well against the Phillies. Unfortunately for Arizona, Oswalt has been arguably our best pitcher this season (can't say I'm surprised by that). Roy does not seem like the kind of guy who ever has a bad game (knock on wood****)
Prediction: Phillies 3 Diamondbags 2
Keep an eye out for: A 1-2-3-4-5-6 8th and 9th inning by Madson and Contreras
Game 3: Cole Hamels (2-1, 2.92 ERA) vs. Joe Saunders (0-2, 4.98 ERA)
This one could turn into a slugfest. With a 93º and sunny forecast in Arizona, it seems to me like having the home run-happy-Hamels on the mound could be dangerous. I'm thinking he only gets through 5 innings here but we simply outhit the D-Bags on our way to a second consecutive series sweep. We don't have a lot of players with good numbers against Saunders, but balls will be flying out of Chase Field. And speaking of Chase Field, I hate that Baseball is not playing in this series because of how fun it is when he does well to say that they named the park after him.
Prediction: Phillies 11 Diamondbags 7
Keep an eye out for: my exploding head due to how many times Christopher Wheeler mentions "hittin' weather" while quoting Charlie Manuel and cracking himself up
**I hate when I use quotes at the end of a sentence because I'm pretty sure that grammatically it is correct to put the punctuation inside the quotes. But I also think that makes things look weird sometimes, so I just end up sort of alternating when I do it. Whenever I have to use a question mark or something other than a period, that's almost a guarantee that I will throw grammar to the wind and put that punctuation on the outside. Can anyone tell me what is the correct thing to do here? Am I doing this right? And if you know this rule, do you totally hate me for ignoring it on a whim? My apologies.
****Do you know why people knock on wood when they say things like that so as to not jinx them? It's because evil spirits are said to live in wood, and you want to knock while you say something like that so they do not hear you and try to mess up your awesome life. I tried to do a little research on this (aka went to wikipedia) and couldn't even find that explanation. I know I have heard that before, though, and it makes total sense. Always teaching, Cam. Always teaching.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Much-Anticipated Phillies Drinking Game
I will start this out by once again saying that this is a family-friendly blog. But the fact of the matter is, there's nothing quite like watching a baseball game with beer in hand on a nice summer day. And considering the first alcoholic beer (thanks O'Doul's!) I ever had was at the clinching of the 2008 World Series (my 21st birthday - yay laws!), my creation of a Phillies drinking game could probably be thought of as more nostalgic and heart-warming than juvenile and borderline drinking-problematic (here's to inventing terms!).
Also, it's probably not much-anticipated by you at all, mainly because you had no idea I had been cooking this up. But I knew, so I have been anticipating this day for years now (sadly true).
But before I get to the actual rules of said drinking game, there is a reason behind this, and it does have to do with a recap of our 4-game sweep of the Padres. First of all, how freak nasty was that series? Our pitching looked just about flawless, and even our worst moments at the plate (Howard going 0-4 with 4 Ks in 2 different games) ended up being not so bad at all (Howard hitting a game-winning double after that 4 strikeout start in game 3). I feel great about myself for predicting 2 shutouts and getting them, including my Cole Hamels prediction of dominance. I also accurately predicted Blanton's portion of game 3, but our bullpen held strong and got us that win so we actually could get a sweep, despite my thoughts. Also, Roy bounced back strong after a rough outing last time. It may seem like all I'm doing right now is bragging about the accuracy of my predictions, and that's because I am. Seriously, way to go me.
And now, to draw out the unveiling of the rules of this drinking game a little longer, here are the reasons that I am posting it today. First of all, throughout this series, anyone could have gotten absolutely obliterated by taking a drink any time the size of the park was talked about. And that's probably the only way someone could stand to listen to Christopher Wheeler talk about it for 24 innings over 4 games (I know there are 9 innings in a game, but he only calls 6 of them. Come on, stay with me here). As I notice recurring things like this in Phillies games, I, for some odd reason, always think of creating a drinking game (I swear I'm nowhere close to an alcoholic). Also, someone just told me today about the creation of a Christopher Wheeler drinking game. This can be found online, but I will not link you to it because I think my game will be better. And without the presence of other drinking games, I think it is time that I reveal mine that I have been semi working on for the past 2 seasons now. So, without further ado, here are your rules:
WARNING: I HAVE NOT YET TRIED THIS GAME MYSELF
You should definitely only use beer for this game because using anything else means you're drinking too much. And beer and baseball just go together.
Take 1 drink any time
-Shane Victorino is shown talking/laughing with/at teammates
-Jimmy Rollins swings at the first pitch
-The shift is mentioned when Ryan Howard is up to bat
-Raul Ibanez nearly falls over or loses his helmet while swinging the bat
-Chooch throws someone out who is stealing
-Wilson Valdez grounds into a double play
-a Phillies pitcher records a strikeout
-a Phillies player hits a solo home run
-Thomas McCarthy says "How 'bout that"
-Christopher Wheeler discusses the size of a ballpark
-Christopher Wheeler talks about an opposing player having a lot of success against the Phillies or a Phillies player over the years
-Christopher Wheeler smugly gives everyone a lesson in baseball history like it's no big deal
-Sarge talks about when he used to play
-Charlie Manuel is shown and you can't tell whether he is talking or chewing gum
Take 2 drinks any time
-a Phillies player hits a 2-run home run
-Jimmy Rollins is shown laughing/smiling after he does something bad
-Christopher Wheeler gets into a debate with either Thomas McCarthy, the official scorers, or himself on whether or not something should be scored an error
-a Phillies outfielder throws someone out going home
Take 3 drinks any time
-a Phillies player hits a 3-run home run
-Placido Polanco commits an error
-the opposing team hits a home run
-there is talk of Sarge's hat(s)
-Christopher Wheeler talks about a pitcher being a good athlete
Finish your beer any time
-Sarge mentions "GaRy MaDdOx"
-the Phillies hit a grand slam
-the Phillies win in walk-off fashion
-one of my predictions is completely accurate
This game should never be played in a car, hence the lack of Larry Anderson or Scott Franzke rules. And hence the laws against drinking and driving
I am sure there are a lot of other good things that could be included, but I had to eliminate some of them so you're not drinking non-stop for the entire game.
I would encourage those of you who are of age to give this a try and let me know how it goes. Also, let me know of any rules that you feel should/could be added. It's a work in progress (if you ignore the fact that I may never work on it again). I have been getting a lot of Male Bag material recently, and any comments you have on the drinking game would definitely be worthy of a Male Bag inclusion. Remember to keep emailing me, texting me, calling me, or whatever with your questions and comments. I really appreciate the few that have been coming in, and I make it a point to personally respond to every blog-related email that I get. What can I say, I'm a man of the people. cskoehler5@gmail.com
Please do not abuse this drinking game. As a personal rule, drinking in the form of a game means that you can't possibly have a drinking problem. Therefore, if you find yourself consuming so much alcohol while playing this that some may consider it a problem, you should probably stop. It's just a game people, don't it ruin your life as much as my gambling problem has ruined mine. Am I joking? Maybe.
It has been brought to my attention that the links included in many of the blog entries will take you directly to that other page rather than opening in a new window. My suggestion for this would be to right-click on the link and open it in a new tab or window. I would definitely encourage you to click on them. They definitely add something to the experience,
Also, it's probably not much-anticipated by you at all, mainly because you had no idea I had been cooking this up. But I knew, so I have been anticipating this day for years now (sadly true).
But before I get to the actual rules of said drinking game, there is a reason behind this, and it does have to do with a recap of our 4-game sweep of the Padres. First of all, how freak nasty was that series? Our pitching looked just about flawless, and even our worst moments at the plate (Howard going 0-4 with 4 Ks in 2 different games) ended up being not so bad at all (Howard hitting a game-winning double after that 4 strikeout start in game 3). I feel great about myself for predicting 2 shutouts and getting them, including my Cole Hamels prediction of dominance. I also accurately predicted Blanton's portion of game 3, but our bullpen held strong and got us that win so we actually could get a sweep, despite my thoughts. Also, Roy bounced back strong after a rough outing last time. It may seem like all I'm doing right now is bragging about the accuracy of my predictions, and that's because I am. Seriously, way to go me.
And now, to draw out the unveiling of the rules of this drinking game a little longer, here are the reasons that I am posting it today. First of all, throughout this series, anyone could have gotten absolutely obliterated by taking a drink any time the size of the park was talked about. And that's probably the only way someone could stand to listen to Christopher Wheeler talk about it for 24 innings over 4 games (I know there are 9 innings in a game, but he only calls 6 of them. Come on, stay with me here). As I notice recurring things like this in Phillies games, I, for some odd reason, always think of creating a drinking game (I swear I'm nowhere close to an alcoholic). Also, someone just told me today about the creation of a Christopher Wheeler drinking game. This can be found online, but I will not link you to it because I think my game will be better. And without the presence of other drinking games, I think it is time that I reveal mine that I have been semi working on for the past 2 seasons now. So, without further ado, here are your rules:
WARNING: I HAVE NOT YET TRIED THIS GAME MYSELF
You should definitely only use beer for this game because using anything else means you're drinking too much. And beer and baseball just go together.
Take 1 drink any time
-Shane Victorino is shown talking/laughing with/at teammates
-Jimmy Rollins swings at the first pitch
-The shift is mentioned when Ryan Howard is up to bat
-Raul Ibanez nearly falls over or loses his helmet while swinging the bat
-Chooch throws someone out who is stealing
-Wilson Valdez grounds into a double play
-a Phillies pitcher records a strikeout
-a Phillies player hits a solo home run
-Thomas McCarthy says "How 'bout that"
-Christopher Wheeler discusses the size of a ballpark
-Christopher Wheeler talks about an opposing player having a lot of success against the Phillies or a Phillies player over the years
-Christopher Wheeler smugly gives everyone a lesson in baseball history like it's no big deal
-Sarge talks about when he used to play
-Charlie Manuel is shown and you can't tell whether he is talking or chewing gum
Take 2 drinks any time
-a Phillies player hits a 2-run home run
-Jimmy Rollins is shown laughing/smiling after he does something bad
-Christopher Wheeler gets into a debate with either Thomas McCarthy, the official scorers, or himself on whether or not something should be scored an error
-a Phillies outfielder throws someone out going home
Take 3 drinks any time
-a Phillies player hits a 3-run home run
-Placido Polanco commits an error
-the opposing team hits a home run
-there is talk of Sarge's hat(s)
-Christopher Wheeler talks about a pitcher being a good athlete
Finish your beer any time
-Sarge mentions "GaRy MaDdOx"
-the Phillies hit a grand slam
-the Phillies win in walk-off fashion
-one of my predictions is completely accurate
This game should never be played in a car, hence the lack of Larry Anderson or Scott Franzke rules. And hence the laws against drinking and driving
I am sure there are a lot of other good things that could be included, but I had to eliminate some of them so you're not drinking non-stop for the entire game.
I would encourage those of you who are of age to give this a try and let me know how it goes. Also, let me know of any rules that you feel should/could be added. It's a work in progress (if you ignore the fact that I may never work on it again). I have been getting a lot of Male Bag material recently, and any comments you have on the drinking game would definitely be worthy of a Male Bag inclusion. Remember to keep emailing me, texting me, calling me, or whatever with your questions and comments. I really appreciate the few that have been coming in, and I make it a point to personally respond to every blog-related email that I get. What can I say, I'm a man of the people. cskoehler5@gmail.com
Please do not abuse this drinking game. As a personal rule, drinking in the form of a game means that you can't possibly have a drinking problem. Therefore, if you find yourself consuming so much alcohol while playing this that some may consider it a problem, you should probably stop. It's just a game people, don't it ruin your life as much as my gambling problem has ruined mine. Am I joking? Maybe.
It has been brought to my attention that the links included in many of the blog entries will take you directly to that other page rather than opening in a new window. My suggestion for this would be to right-click on the link and open it in a new tab or window. I would definitely encourage you to click on them. They definitely add something to the experience,
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Padres Preview
This something that I've talked about before, but I feel the need to address it again - partially because some people may not have been reading this blog that long ago and partially because it's just something that really bothers me.
My recommendation to you over the next 4 games is this: listen to the game on the radio. Please, please, please do not subject yourself to Thomas McCarthy and Christopher Wheeler's commentary on every single fly ball about how much of a "pitcher's park" PETCO is out in San Diego. I will guarantee that this gets mentioned at least once in every game. And, if I know Christopher Wheeler (which I do all too well), it will more than likely be mentioned twice each time a ball is hit into the outfield. Here are direct quotes from the future:
"Man this place is big. This guy's a really good athlete." -Christopher Wheeler (chuckling smugly to himself and randomly commenting on pitchers' athletic ability for no reason)
"And ANOTHER fly ball to the warning track! How about that!" -Thomas McCarthy (screaming for no reason)
"BaLlS aCtUaLlY fLy OuT oF cItIzEnS bAnK pArK!" -Sarge (using inflection that no one can quite figure out)
What do I make of all this pitchers park malarkey? To me, there's really no such thing. If you go back and read the post that I linked to in the first line of this post, you will see that it is referencing a Phillies win in which we got plenty of hits and scored 5 runs while leaving way too many people on base. A bigger park means more room for hits to fall in. Yes, it probably means less home runs, but that hasn't been our strong suit this season anyway (Read: yesterday's post).
The people that would be most affected by this: Ryan Howard and Cole Hamels. Howard because he hits home runs, and Hamels because he gives them up. Howard does not, however, normally hit balls into the first row, so he should have plenty of power to get balls out of PETCO. And Hamels will now just give up less runs due to the extra space. Sounds good to me.
Game 1: Roy Oswalt (2-0, 2.50 ERA) vs. Mat Latos (0-2, 5.84 ERA)
Oswalt has great career numbers both against the Padres and at PETCO. Although the PETCO thing goes against my theory, I am going to ignore it and make these numbers work for me however I want. The time zone change scares me about this game, and Mat Latos is a good pitcher against whom we've been very average at best. But I think that Oswalt puts to rest any worries about his back
Prediction: Phillies 5 Padres 1
Keep an eye out for: Mayberry's first home run of the year
Game 2: Cole Hamels (1-1, 4.32 ERA) vs. Clayton Richard (1-0, 4.50 ERA)
One thing that all MLB players have in common is their ability to be awesome in their hometowns. I have no statistics to back this up other than Ryan Howard always being awesome against the Cardinals, Chase Utley being awesome against everyone including the Dodgers, and Cole Hamels I think probably usually doing pretty well in San Diego. I expect that to continue.
Prediction: Phillies 4 Padres 0
Keep an eye out for: Cole striking out 12 in a complete game shutout
Game 3: Joe Blanton (0-1, 7.27 ERA) vs. Tim Stauffer (0-1, 3.27 ERA)
I hate to say that we'll lose with Blanton on the mound, but I don't see us sweeping a 4-game series and I don't see us losing any of the other games. Sorry, Joe, still no respect.
Prediction: Padres 7 Phillies 2
Keep an eye out for: Joe doing well and the bullpen blowing this one
Game 4: Roy Halladay (2-1, 2.83 ERA) vs. TBD
HA! They aren't even going to pitch anyone against him! They've just given up on game 4! Nice win, Roy.
Prediction: Phillies 1 Padres 0 (I think this is what a forfeit goes down as)
Keep an eye out for: Roy bouncing back strong after a rough outing last time
Note: No, I do not actually think the last game will be a forfeit. But we will win it.
My recommendation to you over the next 4 games is this: listen to the game on the radio. Please, please, please do not subject yourself to Thomas McCarthy and Christopher Wheeler's commentary on every single fly ball about how much of a "pitcher's park" PETCO is out in San Diego. I will guarantee that this gets mentioned at least once in every game. And, if I know Christopher Wheeler (which I do all too well), it will more than likely be mentioned twice each time a ball is hit into the outfield. Here are direct quotes from the future:
"Man this place is big. This guy's a really good athlete." -Christopher Wheeler (chuckling smugly to himself and randomly commenting on pitchers' athletic ability for no reason)
"And ANOTHER fly ball to the warning track! How about that!" -Thomas McCarthy (screaming for no reason)
"BaLlS aCtUaLlY fLy OuT oF cItIzEnS bAnK pArK!" -Sarge (using inflection that no one can quite figure out)
What do I make of all this pitchers park malarkey? To me, there's really no such thing. If you go back and read the post that I linked to in the first line of this post, you will see that it is referencing a Phillies win in which we got plenty of hits and scored 5 runs while leaving way too many people on base. A bigger park means more room for hits to fall in. Yes, it probably means less home runs, but that hasn't been our strong suit this season anyway (Read: yesterday's post).
The people that would be most affected by this: Ryan Howard and Cole Hamels. Howard because he hits home runs, and Hamels because he gives them up. Howard does not, however, normally hit balls into the first row, so he should have plenty of power to get balls out of PETCO. And Hamels will now just give up less runs due to the extra space. Sounds good to me.
Game 1: Roy Oswalt (2-0, 2.50 ERA) vs. Mat Latos (0-2, 5.84 ERA)
Oswalt has great career numbers both against the Padres and at PETCO. Although the PETCO thing goes against my theory, I am going to ignore it and make these numbers work for me however I want. The time zone change scares me about this game, and Mat Latos is a good pitcher against whom we've been very average at best. But I think that Oswalt puts to rest any worries about his back
Prediction: Phillies 5 Padres 1
Keep an eye out for: Mayberry's first home run of the year
Game 2: Cole Hamels (1-1, 4.32 ERA) vs. Clayton Richard (1-0, 4.50 ERA)
One thing that all MLB players have in common is their ability to be awesome in their hometowns. I have no statistics to back this up other than Ryan Howard always being awesome against the Cardinals, Chase Utley being awesome against everyone including the Dodgers, and Cole Hamels I think probably usually doing pretty well in San Diego. I expect that to continue.
Prediction: Phillies 4 Padres 0
Keep an eye out for: Cole striking out 12 in a complete game shutout
Game 3: Joe Blanton (0-1, 7.27 ERA) vs. Tim Stauffer (0-1, 3.27 ERA)
I hate to say that we'll lose with Blanton on the mound, but I don't see us sweeping a 4-game series and I don't see us losing any of the other games. Sorry, Joe, still no respect.
Prediction: Padres 7 Phillies 2
Keep an eye out for: Joe doing well and the bullpen blowing this one
Game 4: Roy Halladay (2-1, 2.83 ERA) vs. TBD
HA! They aren't even going to pitch anyone against him! They've just given up on game 4! Nice win, Roy.
Prediction: Phillies 1 Padres 0 (I think this is what a forfeit goes down as)
Keep an eye out for: Roy bouncing back strong after a rough outing last time
Note: No, I do not actually think the last game will be a forfeit. But we will win it.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
There's Always Something
I would absolutely hate to be a Pirates fan.
Whether or not they are the worst team in baseball in an individual season is always up for debate. What may not be as debatable, however, is their standing over the past 18 seasons. In each of those 18 seasons, there has been one constant: a Pirates losing record. Even the Royals have had a winning season in that time. During that time, the Rays went from being a franchise finishing last or 2nd to last every year in their history to becoming an American League champion and perennial contender in the AL East with 2 of the most storied franchises in the history of the sport. The Phillies went from the World Series to 15 years without the playoffs to the World Series again. Twice in a row. Over all that time, though, the Pirates have done one thing. Sucked.
So why do I bring this up? Is it just to torture one of my best friends? No, not at all. The reason I say all of this is because I cannot imagine how much there is to complain about with a team that struggles that much considering how much I can complain about a team that succeeds as much as the Phillies. And it's not just me! I actually feel like I complain the least (the only time that will ever be true of me).
Over the past 4 seasons or so, you could listen to almost any Phillies analyst talk about how much of a problem it was that our offense hit so many home runs and could barely score runs in any other ways. And, at least a good amount of the time, this could be considered true.
Fast forward to this season. Subtract Pat Burrell, Jayson Werth, and Chase Utley. Now, through 17 games (11 of which we have actually won, by the way), there are articles in the newspaper talking about how Uncle Chuck wants us hitting more home runs. I was listening to the radio last night after we got shut out, and all they could talk about was how screwed we are because we should be hitting home runs and not relying on small ball.
So clearly there is always something to complain about, even if your team wins 4 straight division titles, currently sits atop that division again, and has one of the best starting rotations ever put together.
It is true that things are much different right now than they have been in awhile. It's weird having only one true home run threat in the lineup. So what do we do about that? Complaining is fun, but it gets us nowhere. So here's my solution:
CF Shane Victorino
3B Placido Polanco
RF John Mayberry
1B Ryan Howard
C Carlos Ruiz
SS Jimmy Rollins
LF Ben Francisco
2B Wilson Valdez
P pitcher
But Cameron, that's not our lineup! Please explain!
Ok, ok. Settle down everyone. Victorino, Polanco, Howard, and Valdez stay the same. So here's my explanation for the rest:
John Mayberry hitting 3rd seems crazy because he's not even an every day player. I understand that. What I don't understand, though, is Raul Ibanez ever playing baseball. He's hitting .219, and he's not exactly winning a Gold Glove anytime soon. Why are we still doing this? Let's give Mayberry his first shot at being a regular starter and see what he can do. And let's throw him right into the fire. Stop hiding him down in the 6th spot in the order. We could use power in the 3 spot, and he provides some of that.
Chooch batting 5th is risky because he grounds into a lot of double plays and Howard ends up on first a decent amount of the time, but I think he's earned a move up in the lineup. And I want to have Jimmy switch-hitting in the 6th spot so we don't have too many right-handed hitters in a row. Joe Camel and Valdez can round out that lineup and that gives us a little bit of power in that 7th spot.
I think our lineup needs to be shaken up a little bit while Chase is out. Whether any of these changes make sense, I don't know. Except sitting Raul. Can we please do that? Because he sucks.
I've also heard complaints about Joe Blanton being a 5th starter for us. I will wait until he picks things up in a few starts to then tell everyone they were wrong, rather than just telling them that they are wrong right now.
But even once that gets resolved, there will be more things for us to complain about. What they will be, we don't really know. But let's just thank God we aren't from Pittsburgh (for SO many reasons, with the focus currently being on the baseball team). And to the only true Pirates fan I know (funny how I know more than one Steelers fan and Penguins fan, though. Hm...): Ben Follett, I respect you. How do you do it?
Although we have all sorts of things to complain about, it can always be worse. It can even be worse than being a Pirates fan. Because nothing tops a Mets fan.
Whether or not they are the worst team in baseball in an individual season is always up for debate. What may not be as debatable, however, is their standing over the past 18 seasons. In each of those 18 seasons, there has been one constant: a Pirates losing record. Even the Royals have had a winning season in that time. During that time, the Rays went from being a franchise finishing last or 2nd to last every year in their history to becoming an American League champion and perennial contender in the AL East with 2 of the most storied franchises in the history of the sport. The Phillies went from the World Series to 15 years without the playoffs to the World Series again. Twice in a row. Over all that time, though, the Pirates have done one thing. Sucked.
So why do I bring this up? Is it just to torture one of my best friends? No, not at all. The reason I say all of this is because I cannot imagine how much there is to complain about with a team that struggles that much considering how much I can complain about a team that succeeds as much as the Phillies. And it's not just me! I actually feel like I complain the least (the only time that will ever be true of me).
Over the past 4 seasons or so, you could listen to almost any Phillies analyst talk about how much of a problem it was that our offense hit so many home runs and could barely score runs in any other ways. And, at least a good amount of the time, this could be considered true.
Fast forward to this season. Subtract Pat Burrell, Jayson Werth, and Chase Utley. Now, through 17 games (11 of which we have actually won, by the way), there are articles in the newspaper talking about how Uncle Chuck wants us hitting more home runs. I was listening to the radio last night after we got shut out, and all they could talk about was how screwed we are because we should be hitting home runs and not relying on small ball.
So clearly there is always something to complain about, even if your team wins 4 straight division titles, currently sits atop that division again, and has one of the best starting rotations ever put together.
It is true that things are much different right now than they have been in awhile. It's weird having only one true home run threat in the lineup. So what do we do about that? Complaining is fun, but it gets us nowhere. So here's my solution:
CF Shane Victorino
3B Placido Polanco
RF John Mayberry
1B Ryan Howard
C Carlos Ruiz
SS Jimmy Rollins
LF Ben Francisco
2B Wilson Valdez
P pitcher
But Cameron, that's not our lineup! Please explain!
Ok, ok. Settle down everyone. Victorino, Polanco, Howard, and Valdez stay the same. So here's my explanation for the rest:
John Mayberry hitting 3rd seems crazy because he's not even an every day player. I understand that. What I don't understand, though, is Raul Ibanez ever playing baseball. He's hitting .219, and he's not exactly winning a Gold Glove anytime soon. Why are we still doing this? Let's give Mayberry his first shot at being a regular starter and see what he can do. And let's throw him right into the fire. Stop hiding him down in the 6th spot in the order. We could use power in the 3 spot, and he provides some of that.
Chooch batting 5th is risky because he grounds into a lot of double plays and Howard ends up on first a decent amount of the time, but I think he's earned a move up in the lineup. And I want to have Jimmy switch-hitting in the 6th spot so we don't have too many right-handed hitters in a row. Joe Camel and Valdez can round out that lineup and that gives us a little bit of power in that 7th spot.
I think our lineup needs to be shaken up a little bit while Chase is out. Whether any of these changes make sense, I don't know. Except sitting Raul. Can we please do that? Because he sucks.
I've also heard complaints about Joe Blanton being a 5th starter for us. I will wait until he picks things up in a few starts to then tell everyone they were wrong, rather than just telling them that they are wrong right now.
But even once that gets resolved, there will be more things for us to complain about. What they will be, we don't really know. But let's just thank God we aren't from Pittsburgh (for SO many reasons, with the focus currently being on the baseball team). And to the only true Pirates fan I know (funny how I know more than one Steelers fan and Penguins fan, though. Hm...): Ben Follett, I respect you. How do you do it?
Although we have all sorts of things to complain about, it can always be worse. It can even be worse than being a Pirates fan. Because nothing tops a Mets fan.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Brewers Preview
Due to a weekend trip, a postponed Game 2, and the lack of Phillies radio in the state of Virginia, I can't comment too much on the "series" with the Marlins (Can we really call it a series? It was 2 games, and they weren't even back-to-back days). So I'll go right into a Brewers series preview (and just barely in time!)
Game 1: Shaun Marcum (2-1, 2.55 ERA) vs. Joe Blanton (0-1, 10.45 ERA)
This game spells disaster to me. I don't want to say that I'm not confident in Joe Blanton, especially since he's only started 2 games this season. Yes, they have been just about awful, but it's still only 2 games. I just don't know that I can see him turning it around against this good Brewers team (and I am convinced that this is a good Brewers team). His career numbers against their guys aren't that scary, but also aren't that thrilling (Prince Fielder - .364, HR in 11 AB). And Shaun Marcum is a lot better than people may think. He pitched in a very tough AL East for the first 3 full seasons of his career and had a winning record in each of those, including going 13-8 with a 3.64 ERA last season. Marcum is good. Blanton will be. Just later.
Prediction: Brewers 7 Phillies 5
Keep an eye out for: a Ryan Howard home run. He's 2 for 3 against Marcum with 2 home runs
Game 2: Randy Wolf (1-2, 4.32 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (2-0, 1.23 ERA)
Randy Wolf comes back to town to face our reigning Cy Young winner. Once again, I feel Halladay is just too good, and look at some of our guys' numbers against Wolf:
Victorino - .333, 1 HR, 4 RBI
Rollins - .400, 1 HR, 1 RBI
Ibanez - .357, 1 HR, 3 RBI
Ruiz - .625, 1 HR, 5 RBI
If our 1, 3, 6, and 7 hitters can keep those numbers up, it won't matter how everyone else does. And I think the rest can manage a few hits anyway.
Prediction: Phillies 6 Brewers 0
Keep an eye out for: Roy throwing his first shutout of the season. It's about damn time
Game 3: Chris Narveson (1-0, 1.45 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (2-1, 4.19 ERA)
This game feels scary to me. I don't know what it is about Chris Narveson, but he makes me nervous. We could potentially have a tough time getting some runs off of him. I have little to no basis for this thought, seeing as he lost his only start against us and couldn't make it through 6 innings. And Cliff is coming off of a complete game shutout.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Brewers 2
Keep an eye out for: Prince Fielder hitting his 3rd home run of the series for the Brewers
Overall, this does not seem like an easy series. Although the Brewers have gotten off to a slow start at 7-8, they seem to have a pretty good team put together. Even if not in this series, I think they end up making a run for the Central or at least the Wild Card this season. With Marcum, Yovani Gallardo, and Cy Young winner Zack Greinke (currently on the DL), they have a very dangerous top of the rotation. Couple that with a batting lineup that includes Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder, and you've at least got something to build off of. Rickie Weeks and Casey McGehee are both solid bats in that order, and, once Corey Hart comes off the DL, they have another threat added to the lineup. I think, with their injuries, we are at an advantage, but we had better hope that we're sitting pretty come September 8-11 when we need to travel to Milwaukee for a tough 4-game series. Like I said, they should be in a good spot at that time, and I doubt any of us will be looking forward to an important showdown with a team that has this much talent.
Game 1: Shaun Marcum (2-1, 2.55 ERA) vs. Joe Blanton (0-1, 10.45 ERA)
This game spells disaster to me. I don't want to say that I'm not confident in Joe Blanton, especially since he's only started 2 games this season. Yes, they have been just about awful, but it's still only 2 games. I just don't know that I can see him turning it around against this good Brewers team (and I am convinced that this is a good Brewers team). His career numbers against their guys aren't that scary, but also aren't that thrilling (Prince Fielder - .364, HR in 11 AB). And Shaun Marcum is a lot better than people may think. He pitched in a very tough AL East for the first 3 full seasons of his career and had a winning record in each of those, including going 13-8 with a 3.64 ERA last season. Marcum is good. Blanton will be. Just later.
Prediction: Brewers 7 Phillies 5
Keep an eye out for: a Ryan Howard home run. He's 2 for 3 against Marcum with 2 home runs
Game 2: Randy Wolf (1-2, 4.32 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (2-0, 1.23 ERA)
Randy Wolf comes back to town to face our reigning Cy Young winner. Once again, I feel Halladay is just too good, and look at some of our guys' numbers against Wolf:
Victorino - .333, 1 HR, 4 RBI
Rollins - .400, 1 HR, 1 RBI
Ibanez - .357, 1 HR, 3 RBI
Ruiz - .625, 1 HR, 5 RBI
If our 1, 3, 6, and 7 hitters can keep those numbers up, it won't matter how everyone else does. And I think the rest can manage a few hits anyway.
Prediction: Phillies 6 Brewers 0
Keep an eye out for: Roy throwing his first shutout of the season. It's about damn time
Game 3: Chris Narveson (1-0, 1.45 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (2-1, 4.19 ERA)
This game feels scary to me. I don't know what it is about Chris Narveson, but he makes me nervous. We could potentially have a tough time getting some runs off of him. I have little to no basis for this thought, seeing as he lost his only start against us and couldn't make it through 6 innings. And Cliff is coming off of a complete game shutout.
Prediction: Phillies 3 Brewers 2
Keep an eye out for: Prince Fielder hitting his 3rd home run of the series for the Brewers
Overall, this does not seem like an easy series. Although the Brewers have gotten off to a slow start at 7-8, they seem to have a pretty good team put together. Even if not in this series, I think they end up making a run for the Central or at least the Wild Card this season. With Marcum, Yovani Gallardo, and Cy Young winner Zack Greinke (currently on the DL), they have a very dangerous top of the rotation. Couple that with a batting lineup that includes Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder, and you've at least got something to build off of. Rickie Weeks and Casey McGehee are both solid bats in that order, and, once Corey Hart comes off the DL, they have another threat added to the lineup. I think, with their injuries, we are at an advantage, but we had better hope that we're sitting pretty come September 8-11 when we need to travel to Milwaukee for a tough 4-game series. Like I said, they should be in a good spot at that time, and I doubt any of us will be looking forward to an important showdown with a team that has this much talent.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
4 for 4
I apologize in advance for how brief this reaction and the next preview will be. I am going to Virginia this weekend and attempting to sleep tonight, so I don't have much time to get some real thoughts together for either one. I also apologize for apologizing in advance. If I were really apologizing for something I knew I was going to do, wouldn't I just not do it? I guess not...
We have now had 4 series' (series's? serieses? series? too lazy to look it up? or do I just think its funny to not know?) and we've won all 4. Really all a baseball season comes down to is taking 2 out of 3 games at a time. Sweeps are always fun, but a series win is really what the focus should always be. As I've said before, every team will win 60 games (ish...sorry Pittsburgh) and every team will lose 60 games. The other 42 games are what makes you a good team or a bad team. A loss to the Nationals ultimately means just about nothing. And a win against the Nationals ultimately means about the same as that loss. But that third game is what is going to make the real difference. It's so easy for any given player to have an off day on the baseball diamond, and that makes a clutch win in game 3 that much better. Sure, using the term "clutch" against the Nationals in April is a little ridiculous, but it's these kind of series wins that will benefit us in the long run. Blowing a series like this in April puts us in a way too uncomfortable September. Awesome job, Phils.
Now we just need Jamie Moyer back to start 2 of these games against the Marlins to ensure us another series win.
We have now had 4 series' (series's? serieses? series? too lazy to look it up? or do I just think its funny to not know?) and we've won all 4. Really all a baseball season comes down to is taking 2 out of 3 games at a time. Sweeps are always fun, but a series win is really what the focus should always be. As I've said before, every team will win 60 games (ish...sorry Pittsburgh) and every team will lose 60 games. The other 42 games are what makes you a good team or a bad team. A loss to the Nationals ultimately means just about nothing. And a win against the Nationals ultimately means about the same as that loss. But that third game is what is going to make the real difference. It's so easy for any given player to have an off day on the baseball diamond, and that makes a clutch win in game 3 that much better. Sure, using the term "clutch" against the Nationals in April is a little ridiculous, but it's these kind of series wins that will benefit us in the long run. Blowing a series like this in April puts us in a way too uncomfortable September. Awesome job, Phils.
Now we just need Jamie Moyer back to start 2 of these games against the Marlins to ensure us another series win.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Male Bag
The content of this post is not as possibly disgusting as you may make the title out to be (get your mind out of the gutter). This is actually going to be a post in which I answer questions that have come in from readers across the globe. And when I say "answer," I mean respond in whatever way I please. And when I say "questions," I mean any kind of comments anyone has made to me about the blog. And when I say "from readers," I mean that I may or may not make half of these up because very few people actually comment, email, text, call, fax, write, send carrier pigeons, use those tin cans with a string in between, or anything else. And when I say "across the globe," I mean usually within a 1/4 mile radius of where I write this blog.
As for the name, it comes from the greatest show within a show in television history, and one of the greatest shows in television history. Although I in no way attempt to make this blog appear very masculine, I rarely turn down an opportunity to honor every man's hero, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Whenever there was an episode of Tool Time (within an episode of Home Improvement) on which they read fan mail, it would come out in some type of haversack labeled "Male Bag." Pun 140% intended. And yes, I used the term haversack in place of a possible spot that I could use "satchel" because I am so tired of people believing The Hangover is the greatest thing to happen to the comedy genre. Sorry, it's nowhere close.
So, without further ado, my very first Male Bag!
For how long?
This question was asked when I sent out the initial message announcing my triumphant return to the blogosphere. Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, people. Your tone came through that text pretty hard.
Who is your favorite Phillies player?
I get this question a lot, and it's a near impossible question to answer. My favorite Phillies player is generally whoever is up to bat (minus Raul Ibanez) or whoever is pitching (minus Danys Baez). So my full-time favorite Phill(ie/y) for this season is Tyson Gillies, currently with the Reading Phillies. He's a year younger than me, which I decide to view as awesome rather than depressing. He should be our leadoff hitter of the future, and his last name rhymes with Phillies. If we trade him, I will quit the team.
What is the singular for "Phillies?"
I've inquired about this one myself in the past, so I am glad you asked. Obviously we know how it is pronounced, but how do we spell it? If we follow basic rules of English, it could be spelled either Philly or Phillie. Too often people get trapped into the assumption that it's Phillie. Well, who's to say it isn't? Me, that's who. After years and years of endless discussion and controversy (in my head), I am taking a stand and from here on out only ever spelling the singular for Phillies P-H-I-L-L-Y. Boom. Problem solved, once and for all.
When is the next time you'll be down for a game?
That's a good question. After witnessing the 2008 World Series win, I said that I would be perfectly happy never going to another Phillies game in my life. Well, I guess I told too many people because I feel like that's actually happening. I have been to a game here and there since '08, but they are few and far between. I was supposed to be going this coming Saturday but, like an idiot, did not remember I had other plans. Jeremiah, you do not need to feel bad about this. It will be a great weekend and I'd rather be in Virginia than at a Phillies game (other loyal readers: not really).
How was your weekend? Do anything fun?
It was really good, thank you. Although you heard about a good amount of it in my last post, there were some details that were left out. We saw "Your Highness," I got to hang out with some of the regulars at Moe's (the local bar), and I attempted to eat 50 Chicken McNuggets in 50 minutes. Not that easy. (45 in 47)
In your blog post, "So Backwoods," you had a really good lead in to the point you were trying to get at. How are you so awesome all the time? (note: half of this question really was said to me. I'll let you guess which half)
Well I get most of my awesome advice from myself actually. Over the years of effortlessly succeeding in every aspect of life, I have acquired quite the vast array of knowledge of awesomeness. It's a gift, what can I say? When the only thing you do is be right and win, it's easy to sometimes get very caught up in yourself. Well, that's not my style. I was gracious enough to put all of my awesome thoughts, ideas, and methods into a book entitled How To Be Awesome: A Guide to a Fantastic Life. To reserve a copy, simply ask for one and send me any amount of money you want (including none). If you think I'm kidding, ask the people scattered throughout the US who are currently more awesome than they were before because of me.
I wish we lived together during this blog so I could be your witty #2 and you could write about all the sweet A things we would do.
So do I, Cheese. So do I.
Will I see a win on Thursday?
That's a great question and a perfect lead-in to my series preview against the Nationals (and this question was actually real!...not that all the others weren't). Yes, I do think you'll see a win on Thursday night. Because you asked about Thursday, we'll work through this preview backwards:
Thursday: Cliff Lee (1-1, 7.84 ERA) vs. Jordan Zimmermann (1-1, 3.18 ERA)
I don't think there is any way the Nationals are good enough to do anything to Cliff Lee. I'm sorry, I just can't pretend that they are respectable enough to match up when we have him pitching.
Wednesday: Roy Halladay (1-0, 0.69 ERA) vs. John Lannan (1-0, 3.60 ERA)
Same thing applies here. I realize that this is a weak preview, but seriously? The Nationals just aren't very good. And Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee are.
Tuesday: Joe Blanton (0-0, 14.54 ERA) vs. Livan Hernandez (0-1, 4.76 ERA)
This is a game that feels like it could end up being 12-9 with the 2 pitchers each hitting at least one home run. I think that if we are going to lose, it's going to be this game. I don't think we lose it, though. We are batting .334 as a team this season. Can we just take a second to try to fully comprehend that? There are only 3 teams batting over .300 collectively right now, and they are hitting .307 and .315. We're hitting .334. THREE THIRTY-FOUR! That's not even real. Is this a joke? Oh my gosh. Seriously? .334? Come on. No way. .334? Wow.
So, there it is. Predicting a sweep. It's very unoriginal, especially against the Nationals, but it's so much more fun to be right about a sweep.
Are you in any way going to try to hide the fact that you want to be exactly like Mark Titus in every way?
No. No I am not.
That will do it for the first edition of the Male Bag. I hope you enjoyed it, and at least 5 people that I can think of were lucky enough to see at least one of their questions or comments be a part of this. So, if you give me some feedback about this blog, I can all but guarantee your question or comment will end up showing up in a future Male Bag. In all seriousness, I love hearing from you guys. It makes me feel like my life is not a total waste. So keep it all coming. cskoehler5@gmail.com
As for the name, it comes from the greatest show within a show in television history, and one of the greatest shows in television history. Although I in no way attempt to make this blog appear very masculine, I rarely turn down an opportunity to honor every man's hero, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Whenever there was an episode of Tool Time (within an episode of Home Improvement) on which they read fan mail, it would come out in some type of haversack labeled "Male Bag." Pun 140% intended. And yes, I used the term haversack in place of a possible spot that I could use "satchel" because I am so tired of people believing The Hangover is the greatest thing to happen to the comedy genre. Sorry, it's nowhere close.
So, without further ado, my very first Male Bag!
For how long?
This question was asked when I sent out the initial message announcing my triumphant return to the blogosphere. Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, people. Your tone came through that text pretty hard.
Who is your favorite Phillies player?
I get this question a lot, and it's a near impossible question to answer. My favorite Phillies player is generally whoever is up to bat (minus Raul Ibanez) or whoever is pitching (minus Danys Baez). So my full-time favorite Phill(ie/y) for this season is Tyson Gillies, currently with the Reading Phillies. He's a year younger than me, which I decide to view as awesome rather than depressing. He should be our leadoff hitter of the future, and his last name rhymes with Phillies. If we trade him, I will quit the team.
What is the singular for "Phillies?"
I've inquired about this one myself in the past, so I am glad you asked. Obviously we know how it is pronounced, but how do we spell it? If we follow basic rules of English, it could be spelled either Philly or Phillie. Too often people get trapped into the assumption that it's Phillie. Well, who's to say it isn't? Me, that's who. After years and years of endless discussion and controversy (in my head), I am taking a stand and from here on out only ever spelling the singular for Phillies P-H-I-L-L-Y. Boom. Problem solved, once and for all.
When is the next time you'll be down for a game?
That's a good question. After witnessing the 2008 World Series win, I said that I would be perfectly happy never going to another Phillies game in my life. Well, I guess I told too many people because I feel like that's actually happening. I have been to a game here and there since '08, but they are few and far between. I was supposed to be going this coming Saturday but, like an idiot, did not remember I had other plans. Jeremiah, you do not need to feel bad about this. It will be a great weekend and I'd rather be in Virginia than at a Phillies game (other loyal readers: not really).
How was your weekend? Do anything fun?
It was really good, thank you. Although you heard about a good amount of it in my last post, there were some details that were left out. We saw "Your Highness," I got to hang out with some of the regulars at Moe's (the local bar), and I attempted to eat 50 Chicken McNuggets in 50 minutes. Not that easy. (45 in 47)
In your blog post, "So Backwoods," you had a really good lead in to the point you were trying to get at. How are you so awesome all the time? (note: half of this question really was said to me. I'll let you guess which half)
Well I get most of my awesome advice from myself actually. Over the years of effortlessly succeeding in every aspect of life, I have acquired quite the vast array of knowledge of awesomeness. It's a gift, what can I say? When the only thing you do is be right and win, it's easy to sometimes get very caught up in yourself. Well, that's not my style. I was gracious enough to put all of my awesome thoughts, ideas, and methods into a book entitled How To Be Awesome: A Guide to a Fantastic Life. To reserve a copy, simply ask for one and send me any amount of money you want (including none). If you think I'm kidding, ask the people scattered throughout the US who are currently more awesome than they were before because of me.
I wish we lived together during this blog so I could be your witty #2 and you could write about all the sweet A things we would do.
So do I, Cheese. So do I.
Will I see a win on Thursday?
That's a great question and a perfect lead-in to my series preview against the Nationals (and this question was actually real!...not that all the others weren't). Yes, I do think you'll see a win on Thursday night. Because you asked about Thursday, we'll work through this preview backwards:
Thursday: Cliff Lee (1-1, 7.84 ERA) vs. Jordan Zimmermann (1-1, 3.18 ERA)
I don't think there is any way the Nationals are good enough to do anything to Cliff Lee. I'm sorry, I just can't pretend that they are respectable enough to match up when we have him pitching.
Wednesday: Roy Halladay (1-0, 0.69 ERA) vs. John Lannan (1-0, 3.60 ERA)
Same thing applies here. I realize that this is a weak preview, but seriously? The Nationals just aren't very good. And Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee are.
Tuesday: Joe Blanton (0-0, 14.54 ERA) vs. Livan Hernandez (0-1, 4.76 ERA)
This is a game that feels like it could end up being 12-9 with the 2 pitchers each hitting at least one home run. I think that if we are going to lose, it's going to be this game. I don't think we lose it, though. We are batting .334 as a team this season. Can we just take a second to try to fully comprehend that? There are only 3 teams batting over .300 collectively right now, and they are hitting .307 and .315. We're hitting .334. THREE THIRTY-FOUR! That's not even real. Is this a joke? Oh my gosh. Seriously? .334? Come on. No way. .334? Wow.
So, there it is. Predicting a sweep. It's very unoriginal, especially against the Nationals, but it's so much more fun to be right about a sweep.
Are you in any way going to try to hide the fact that you want to be exactly like Mark Titus in every way?
No. No I am not.
That will do it for the first edition of the Male Bag. I hope you enjoyed it, and at least 5 people that I can think of were lucky enough to see at least one of their questions or comments be a part of this. So, if you give me some feedback about this blog, I can all but guarantee your question or comment will end up showing up in a future Male Bag. In all seriousness, I love hearing from you guys. It makes me feel like my life is not a total waste. So keep it all coming. cskoehler5@gmail.com
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Say Cheese
(First let me say that I hate the title of this post, but it was the catchiest thing I could think of that had "cheese" in it. Perhaps its fitting and extra frustrating that the word "cheesy" is the only word to describe this.)
I'm sure many of you remember my old roommate from Penn State who has always been affectionately referred to as "Cheese" on this blog (as well as by me essentially since we've known each other and by anyone who knows him through me). It was a goal when I started this blog to turn him into a die-hard Phillies fan, a goal that has fallen by the wayside over the past 2 years.
This weekend, however, I was able to make the trek out to the lovely Pennsylvania metropolis known as Mechanicsburg. Although you know Mechanicsburg as the site of Jubilee Day, the home of the "wrench drop" every New Year's Eve, or perhaps Bret Michaels' home town, to me Mechanicsburg is mostly known for its main export: Cheese (ugh...sorry about that everyone). As one of my best friends for the past few years, the only area of our lives that Cheese and I did not fully connect from the beginning was sports, among other things (no, that doesn't make sense). Things have changed over the years, though.
Cheese came to Penn State not really caring that much about football. I, on the other hand, was all about the sport that makes State College Pennsylvania's third largest city on Saturdays in the fall.
During March Madness every year, you could find me hooking up as many TVs and computers as necessary to catch every second of every game. Cheese's favorite parts were the commercials reminding us of some upcoming golf tournament that no one would shut up about (Masters? Something like that? Who cares?)
I could not get enough of the Phillies. Cheese simply went along for the ride whenever the team was looking good.
Since then, I have wisened up to the stupidity of the game of football and the blindness with which Penn Staters will follow their team, no matter how many players have been caught committing various criminal acts. At Cheese's house this weekend, I actually watched a good amount of the Masters, even going so far as to continue to watch once I got home (and apparently appearing to be some type of expert. I don't know where Adam Scott is from. No, I couldn't tell you how many people are tied for the lead right now. How should I know how a playoff system works in golf, Mom?)
And perhaps most important of all, Cheese has totally immersed himself in the Philadelphia Phillies. One of the first things I noticed after our tears of pure, unadulterated bliss cleared up upon first seeing each other was the background of his iPhone being a Phillies "P". He asked if I had heard what was going on in the game, and, although I had been listening on the radio, he was able to give me an accurate play-by-play of anything important that had happened on my way. Despite his love for the Masters, we used Saturday and Sunday afternoon to focus on the Phillies, only flipping to watch a little golf during the short commercial breaks between half-innings. A few more Cheese Phillies stats for you:
-Cheese has paid somewhere around $15 for an app that allows him to follow the Phillies on his phone while at work
-He searches day and night for a new Phillies hat (a fitted one that's not a flat brim and looks just like what the players wear. Preferably with a red little button on top, not blue. If you can find one of these, let one of us know)
-He likes Raul Ibanez (I don't know if this makes him a really good fan or a really ignorant fan)
-Cheese has been known to text me after exciting Phillies games or even after exciting events within Phillies games
Perhaps the most exciting of all of this, though, is something he told me this weekend. When discussing people who are bandwagon fans, it was suggested that he could possibly be a bandwagon fan himself. He informed me that "I don't follow the Phillies because they won the World Series, though. I started following them more because of you." Reflecting on this statement and actually typing it out makes it seem a lot less heterosexual than it was initially, but I am not all that concerned, and I would like to think that he isn't either.
Because of all this, the Braves series this weekend may have been one of my favorites of the season no matter what the result. Lucky for my peace of mind, though, we ended up taking 2 of 3 in beautiful fashion. Friday night was rough, but Saturday was a great display of our catchers' offensive firepower, and Sunday was a brilliant bounce back by Cole.
Positives of the series:
-Our offense is unreal. Every one of our regulars is hitting above .300 except Ibanez (.257). (Side note: I personally can't really stand Ibanez as a player anymore, and I plan on proving throughout this season that he, along with NASA and the city of Pittsburgh, can be blamed for every problem that arises for the Phillies, possibly the country, possibly the entire world)
-Hamels is OK. I told you he would be.
-Our bullpen put together what felt like a real save. There haven't been too many close ones this season, but we got close to a bind at the end of the game and were able to conserve the shutout
-Scott Franzke and Larry Anderson are pure poetry. I loved listening to them both Friday night and today while travelling. I feel like I'm really good friends with them when I listen. Like they are constantly telling an inside joke that I'm a part of.
-We are controlling the NL East up to this point in the season. It's early, but first place always feels nice
Negatives:
-There aren't really many, but I would be more concerned about Cliff's outing on Friday night than most people were about Cole's on Tuesday. Cliff was getting hit hard all over the park. I am not actually worried about this because he's Cliff Lee, but it was not fun to listen to him getting abused like that
-Thomas McCarthy and Christopher Wheeler are a pure train wreck. I hate listening to them all the time while watching on TV. I feel like I want to strangle them when I watch. Like they are constantly just making up jokes that neither one of them gets and neither do I.
Overall, this was an excellent series and a good way to head into what should be another series win against Washington.
I'm sure many of you remember my old roommate from Penn State who has always been affectionately referred to as "Cheese" on this blog (as well as by me essentially since we've known each other and by anyone who knows him through me). It was a goal when I started this blog to turn him into a die-hard Phillies fan, a goal that has fallen by the wayside over the past 2 years.
This weekend, however, I was able to make the trek out to the lovely Pennsylvania metropolis known as Mechanicsburg. Although you know Mechanicsburg as the site of Jubilee Day, the home of the "wrench drop" every New Year's Eve, or perhaps Bret Michaels' home town, to me Mechanicsburg is mostly known for its main export: Cheese (ugh...sorry about that everyone). As one of my best friends for the past few years, the only area of our lives that Cheese and I did not fully connect from the beginning was sports, among other things (no, that doesn't make sense). Things have changed over the years, though.
Cheese came to Penn State not really caring that much about football. I, on the other hand, was all about the sport that makes State College Pennsylvania's third largest city on Saturdays in the fall.
During March Madness every year, you could find me hooking up as many TVs and computers as necessary to catch every second of every game. Cheese's favorite parts were the commercials reminding us of some upcoming golf tournament that no one would shut up about (Masters? Something like that? Who cares?)
I could not get enough of the Phillies. Cheese simply went along for the ride whenever the team was looking good.
Since then, I have wisened up to the stupidity of the game of football and the blindness with which Penn Staters will follow their team, no matter how many players have been caught committing various criminal acts. At Cheese's house this weekend, I actually watched a good amount of the Masters, even going so far as to continue to watch once I got home (and apparently appearing to be some type of expert. I don't know where Adam Scott is from. No, I couldn't tell you how many people are tied for the lead right now. How should I know how a playoff system works in golf, Mom?)
And perhaps most important of all, Cheese has totally immersed himself in the Philadelphia Phillies. One of the first things I noticed after our tears of pure, unadulterated bliss cleared up upon first seeing each other was the background of his iPhone being a Phillies "P". He asked if I had heard what was going on in the game, and, although I had been listening on the radio, he was able to give me an accurate play-by-play of anything important that had happened on my way. Despite his love for the Masters, we used Saturday and Sunday afternoon to focus on the Phillies, only flipping to watch a little golf during the short commercial breaks between half-innings. A few more Cheese Phillies stats for you:
-Cheese has paid somewhere around $15 for an app that allows him to follow the Phillies on his phone while at work
-He searches day and night for a new Phillies hat (a fitted one that's not a flat brim and looks just like what the players wear. Preferably with a red little button on top, not blue. If you can find one of these, let one of us know)
-He likes Raul Ibanez (I don't know if this makes him a really good fan or a really ignorant fan)
-Cheese has been known to text me after exciting Phillies games or even after exciting events within Phillies games
Perhaps the most exciting of all of this, though, is something he told me this weekend. When discussing people who are bandwagon fans, it was suggested that he could possibly be a bandwagon fan himself. He informed me that "I don't follow the Phillies because they won the World Series, though. I started following them more because of you." Reflecting on this statement and actually typing it out makes it seem a lot less heterosexual than it was initially, but I am not all that concerned, and I would like to think that he isn't either.
Because of all this, the Braves series this weekend may have been one of my favorites of the season no matter what the result. Lucky for my peace of mind, though, we ended up taking 2 of 3 in beautiful fashion. Friday night was rough, but Saturday was a great display of our catchers' offensive firepower, and Sunday was a brilliant bounce back by Cole.
Positives of the series:
-Our offense is unreal. Every one of our regulars is hitting above .300 except Ibanez (.257). (Side note: I personally can't really stand Ibanez as a player anymore, and I plan on proving throughout this season that he, along with NASA and the city of Pittsburgh, can be blamed for every problem that arises for the Phillies, possibly the country, possibly the entire world)
-Hamels is OK. I told you he would be.
-Our bullpen put together what felt like a real save. There haven't been too many close ones this season, but we got close to a bind at the end of the game and were able to conserve the shutout
-Scott Franzke and Larry Anderson are pure poetry. I loved listening to them both Friday night and today while travelling. I feel like I'm really good friends with them when I listen. Like they are constantly telling an inside joke that I'm a part of.
-We are controlling the NL East up to this point in the season. It's early, but first place always feels nice
Negatives:
-There aren't really many, but I would be more concerned about Cliff's outing on Friday night than most people were about Cole's on Tuesday. Cliff was getting hit hard all over the park. I am not actually worried about this because he's Cliff Lee, but it was not fun to listen to him getting abused like that
-Thomas McCarthy and Christopher Wheeler are a pure train wreck. I hate listening to them all the time while watching on TV. I feel like I want to strangle them when I watch. Like they are constantly just making up jokes that neither one of them gets and neither do I.
Overall, this was an excellent series and a good way to head into what should be another series win against Washington.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Braves Preview
As I mentioned in my last post, the Phillies numbers have been quite the opposite of what we expected this season, with our hitters hitting and our pitchers struggling (according to the numbers, that is). The Braves have been having the opposite experience thus far. Their pitchers have been on, and their hitters have been underperforming somewhat.
Brian McCann has been great so far, hitting .423 in their first 7 games. He has yet to record an extra-base hit, but I'm sure we can count on several of them against the Phils this weekend. Is it just me, or does he seem to kill us every time we play them? He has eaten up Hamels and Blanton in the past, as well as Myers when he was around. Lucky for us, he will only possibly face 1 of those pitchers in the next 3 days.
Aside from McCann, though, the Braves have yet to get going. He is the only regular hitting over .250 other than Chipper Jones. And Chipper is probably only hitting .320 because he can never hear the umpire call him out, and then everyone feels bad for him because they don't make baseball uniforms in the form of cardigan sweaters and because it takes him so long to get to and from the stadium every day (Because he's a slow driver. These are jokes about his old age. Try to keep up here).
The pitching, though, has been much more impressive. Here's a look at our matchups.
Game 1: Cliff Lee (1-0, 3.86 ERA) vs. Tim Hudson (1-0, 1.29 ERA)
This should be quite the pitcher's duel. We all know how great Lee can be, and Hudson is capable of being right up there with him. The advantage we have is Ryan Howard. I guess he's been all right so far this season (.480, 2 HR, 8 RBI), and he has very good career numbers against Hudson (.341, 6 HR, 12 RBI in 41 AB). I think we end up taking this game something like 4-1 on a couple Howard home runs.
Game 2: Roy Oswalt (1-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Brandon Beachy (0-0, 1.50 ERA)
Beachy is making his 5th career start and his 3rd against the Phillies. Although he was fine against us last season, the Phillies generally don't treat pitchers well that they've seen a bunch of times unless they are elite. An elite pitcher would not be named Beachy. That's just dumb. Phils win 6-2
Game 3: Cole Hamels (0-1, 20.25 ERA) vs. Derek Lowe (1-1, 0.77 ERA)
This game all comes down to whether or not Derek Lowe's sinker is working for him, or if the Braves can be smart about getting him out of the game before he goes too far. He generally dominates us for the first 6-7 innings, but we can usually get to him after that as his pitch count increases and his sinker starts to get elevated (at least that's what analysts say happens to it, I know nothing about pitches to be honest). I don't think Hamels struggles in the same way in this game, and it should be a pretty good pitcher's duel again. Unfortunately, I think it's too tough to sweep the Braves in Atlanta. Prediction: 4-3 loss
Something I love about this series is that the Braves have avoided Roy Halladay, yet still managed to face 3 potential Cy Young winners. And we can look forward to this all season. I am still so excited about our starting rotation. Every series this season, teams will only get possibly 1 game off from those 4 guys. That means we should be at an advantage to win every series this season. Every. Single. Series. Say whaaaaattt??!!
Brian McCann has been great so far, hitting .423 in their first 7 games. He has yet to record an extra-base hit, but I'm sure we can count on several of them against the Phils this weekend. Is it just me, or does he seem to kill us every time we play them? He has eaten up Hamels and Blanton in the past, as well as Myers when he was around. Lucky for us, he will only possibly face 1 of those pitchers in the next 3 days.
Aside from McCann, though, the Braves have yet to get going. He is the only regular hitting over .250 other than Chipper Jones. And Chipper is probably only hitting .320 because he can never hear the umpire call him out, and then everyone feels bad for him because they don't make baseball uniforms in the form of cardigan sweaters and because it takes him so long to get to and from the stadium every day (Because he's a slow driver. These are jokes about his old age. Try to keep up here).
The pitching, though, has been much more impressive. Here's a look at our matchups.
Game 1: Cliff Lee (1-0, 3.86 ERA) vs. Tim Hudson (1-0, 1.29 ERA)
This should be quite the pitcher's duel. We all know how great Lee can be, and Hudson is capable of being right up there with him. The advantage we have is Ryan Howard. I guess he's been all right so far this season (.480, 2 HR, 8 RBI), and he has very good career numbers against Hudson (.341, 6 HR, 12 RBI in 41 AB). I think we end up taking this game something like 4-1 on a couple Howard home runs.
Game 2: Roy Oswalt (1-0, 3.00 ERA) vs. Brandon Beachy (0-0, 1.50 ERA)
Beachy is making his 5th career start and his 3rd against the Phillies. Although he was fine against us last season, the Phillies generally don't treat pitchers well that they've seen a bunch of times unless they are elite. An elite pitcher would not be named Beachy. That's just dumb. Phils win 6-2
Game 3: Cole Hamels (0-1, 20.25 ERA) vs. Derek Lowe (1-1, 0.77 ERA)
This game all comes down to whether or not Derek Lowe's sinker is working for him, or if the Braves can be smart about getting him out of the game before he goes too far. He generally dominates us for the first 6-7 innings, but we can usually get to him after that as his pitch count increases and his sinker starts to get elevated (at least that's what analysts say happens to it, I know nothing about pitches to be honest). I don't think Hamels struggles in the same way in this game, and it should be a pretty good pitcher's duel again. Unfortunately, I think it's too tough to sweep the Braves in Atlanta. Prediction: 4-3 loss
Something I love about this series is that the Braves have avoided Roy Halladay, yet still managed to face 3 potential Cy Young winners. And we can look forward to this all season. I am still so excited about our starting rotation. Every series this season, teams will only get possibly 1 game off from those 4 guys. That means we should be at an advantage to win every series this season. Every. Single. Series. Say whaaaaattt??!!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
So Backwoods
In no way am I condoning the act of smoking cigars. This is a family friendly, drug-free blog. But from people I've talked to who have smoked cigars, apparently a small bag filled with 8 frayed brown sticks that leave paper traces all through your mouth for the small price of 4.99 is a sight of pure joy. There's nothing quite like that sweet aromatic taste in your mouth, especially the night of and morning after when you need to brush your teeth for 4-5 minutes to feel slightly normal again. Or at least that's what I hear.
For all the men out there: You know what I'm talking about.
For all the women: Ugh. So gross. Am I right?!
Either way, these cigars are so ghetto looking that people have been known to put them in their mouths backwards. So, smoke a Backwoods backwards. After something like this, the term "backwoods" naturally becomes synonymous with "backwards." And all of a sudden anything that's grossly unexpected could be described as "backwoods."
If you go back and read my season preview, you will see that this season should have been filled with 2-1 and 3-0 wins for the Phillies. Our pitching is what will get us to the promised land - let's just hope our hitting can keep up.
Well, so far, this season has been so backwoods. Take a look at these stats after 6 games:
ERA - 4.80 (22nd in baseball)
Runs scored - 32 (6th in baseball)
Batting average against - .272 (24th in baseball)
Batting average - .337 (2nd in baseball)
If you told me those were going to be our numbers, I would guess that it was 2002 and Robert Person was starting every game for us (Note: although Person pitched well in that game, he sucked the rest of the season).
It's been a pretty backwoods year for a lot of teams around the league. The AL-favorite Red Sox are 0-6. So are the Rays. Elsewhere in the AL East, the Orioles are 4-1 and in first place going into tonight's game. The Pirates just beat the Cardinals in a series in St. Louis (which one of my best friends has been writing an awesome blog about that you should check out). The Giants also can't seem to get on track, starting this season 2-4. Talk about backwoods.
And perhaps most backwoods of all has been everyone's overreaction to Cole's rough outing Tuesday night. I feel like everyone has jumped all over him and assumed that he can't handle his spot as the 4th starter in our rotation. "Hamels better get his act together or we'll be in trouble!"..."I've always hated him"...and worst of all "He had too many games like this last season, too"
Are you insane?! He had a 3.06 ERA last season, and his 12-11 record did not at all show what he could have done with any type of support. And if you look at that horrifyingly long and painful 3rd inning, the reason it was so horrifyingly long and painful was because of singles, singles, and more singles. I would rather see Cole get beat by a bloop to left-center and a ball getting between Polanco and Rollins than see people like Angel Pagan belting doubles off the wall and Scott Hairston smacking home runs off the Budweiser sign with Cole out on the mound. There is no need to worry about this at all. If there's anything to worry about, it's losing a 7-run lead. Although I don't expect perfection from our pitchers, and certainly not from Joe Blanton, I definitely expect a lead of 4-5 runs or more to be more than safe.
Overall, it ended up being a fun series after a shaky first 3 innings of it. After just 1 run in game 1, we bounced back big time in games 2 and 3, a good way to head into an important early-season series in Atlanta. Look for the preview tomorrow. Remember, do not hesitate to shoot me an email with any questions, comments, or random anything about the Phillies or life in general. (Shoot me an email. Hilarious)
For all the men out there: You know what I'm talking about.
For all the women: Ugh. So gross. Am I right?!
Either way, these cigars are so ghetto looking that people have been known to put them in their mouths backwards. So, smoke a Backwoods backwards. After something like this, the term "backwoods" naturally becomes synonymous with "backwards." And all of a sudden anything that's grossly unexpected could be described as "backwoods."
If you go back and read my season preview, you will see that this season should have been filled with 2-1 and 3-0 wins for the Phillies. Our pitching is what will get us to the promised land - let's just hope our hitting can keep up.
Well, so far, this season has been so backwoods. Take a look at these stats after 6 games:
ERA - 4.80 (22nd in baseball)
Runs scored - 32 (6th in baseball)
Batting average against - .272 (24th in baseball)
Batting average - .337 (2nd in baseball)
If you told me those were going to be our numbers, I would guess that it was 2002 and Robert Person was starting every game for us (Note: although Person pitched well in that game, he sucked the rest of the season).
It's been a pretty backwoods year for a lot of teams around the league. The AL-favorite Red Sox are 0-6. So are the Rays. Elsewhere in the AL East, the Orioles are 4-1 and in first place going into tonight's game. The Pirates just beat the Cardinals in a series in St. Louis (which one of my best friends has been writing an awesome blog about that you should check out). The Giants also can't seem to get on track, starting this season 2-4. Talk about backwoods.
And perhaps most backwoods of all has been everyone's overreaction to Cole's rough outing Tuesday night. I feel like everyone has jumped all over him and assumed that he can't handle his spot as the 4th starter in our rotation. "Hamels better get his act together or we'll be in trouble!"..."I've always hated him"...and worst of all "He had too many games like this last season, too"
Are you insane?! He had a 3.06 ERA last season, and his 12-11 record did not at all show what he could have done with any type of support. And if you look at that horrifyingly long and painful 3rd inning, the reason it was so horrifyingly long and painful was because of singles, singles, and more singles. I would rather see Cole get beat by a bloop to left-center and a ball getting between Polanco and Rollins than see people like Angel Pagan belting doubles off the wall and Scott Hairston smacking home runs off the Budweiser sign with Cole out on the mound. There is no need to worry about this at all. If there's anything to worry about, it's losing a 7-run lead. Although I don't expect perfection from our pitchers, and certainly not from Joe Blanton, I definitely expect a lead of 4-5 runs or more to be more than safe.
Overall, it ended up being a fun series after a shaky first 3 innings of it. After just 1 run in game 1, we bounced back big time in games 2 and 3, a good way to head into an important early-season series in Atlanta. Look for the preview tomorrow. Remember, do not hesitate to shoot me an email with any questions, comments, or random anything about the Phillies or life in general. (Shoot me an email. Hilarious)
Monday, April 4, 2011
Mets Preview
Coming up for the Phillies: the 3 most meaningful games against the Mets we will play this season. They are only 1 game behind us! This can only last so long.
Coming up for the Mets: the 3 most meaningful games they will play this season
Although this may sound a bit cocky, it is largely true. The Mets do not really have a prayer of competing in the NL East this season. In the past, they've at least been able to compete even though we all knew they couldn't win it (how adorable). This season...not so much. So here's a breakdown of the pitching matchups and how I think this will all pan out:
Game 1: Chris Young (0-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
Both pitchers will be making their first start of the season, and this is the only game in which we can say that for the series. Cole Hamels seems to love playing the Mets, but the offense doesn't love hitting when he does. He had 2 straight 1-0 losses to the Mets last season, and he compiled an 0-4 record against them in 4 starts with a 2.27 ERA. In those 4 games, our offense scored 3 runs total. Facing Chris Young is scary because he's 6'10". He has had some success in the big leagues but has struggled to stay healthy for a full season. I think we don't have a problem getting to him early and often and Hamels gets an easy win.
Game 2: Mike Pelfrey (0-1, 10.38 ERA) vs. Joe Blanton (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
This game interests me because of the Mets' choice for starting pitcher. Pelfrey is their "ace" right now (hilarious), and he would normally be slated to pitch against Roy Halladay on Thursday. However, they are taking the rest over the rotation here and putting him against our 5th starter. They have 2 options:
1) Put their best against our worst and hope to get one win out of this series, conceding the Halladay start
2) Put their worst against our worst and Pelfrey against Halladay, showing they have any type of confidence in their team against the reigning NL Cy Young winner.
They have chosen to wuss out here by taking the former and giving themselves a "guaranteed" win with this matchup. I hope someone tells Joe Blanton what they are doing here so he can absolutely crush them. And I think that happens. (Plus I am definitely picking the Phils to win until they lose)
Side note: Is this something that teams will do as often as they can against us? Will they just totally give up on their team as often as possible just to get 1 win in a 3-game series? It will be interesting to see how often teams with this same option will do the same thing. Show confidence or try to win. Tough call
Another side note: If you have no idea what I'm talking about, any baseball team would normally (for the most part) have a 5-man rotation even with off-days in between series'. So the Mets should start their 5th starter on Wednesday and have Pelfrey go against Halladay on Thursday. But because of the off-day, they can start him on Wednesday and it will be just as if they never had an off-day - he will get the same amount of rest.
Game 3: Jonathon Niese (0-0, 2.57 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (0-0, 1.50 ERA)
Halladay's pitching, and we will have played too many games at this point in the season without him getting a win. He'll win for that reason as well as the fact that Jonathon Niese spells his first name like an idiot.
This is a fun series to look forward. We'll get to embarrass Mets fans even more than they already are by just being Mets fans. After this, we can head down to Atlanta with a nice 6-0 record, on our way to the first undefeated record in baseball history.
Coming up for the Mets: the 3 most meaningful games they will play this season
Although this may sound a bit cocky, it is largely true. The Mets do not really have a prayer of competing in the NL East this season. In the past, they've at least been able to compete even though we all knew they couldn't win it (how adorable). This season...not so much. So here's a breakdown of the pitching matchups and how I think this will all pan out:
Game 1: Chris Young (0-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
Both pitchers will be making their first start of the season, and this is the only game in which we can say that for the series. Cole Hamels seems to love playing the Mets, but the offense doesn't love hitting when he does. He had 2 straight 1-0 losses to the Mets last season, and he compiled an 0-4 record against them in 4 starts with a 2.27 ERA. In those 4 games, our offense scored 3 runs total. Facing Chris Young is scary because he's 6'10". He has had some success in the big leagues but has struggled to stay healthy for a full season. I think we don't have a problem getting to him early and often and Hamels gets an easy win.
Game 2: Mike Pelfrey (0-1, 10.38 ERA) vs. Joe Blanton (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
This game interests me because of the Mets' choice for starting pitcher. Pelfrey is their "ace" right now (hilarious), and he would normally be slated to pitch against Roy Halladay on Thursday. However, they are taking the rest over the rotation here and putting him against our 5th starter. They have 2 options:
1) Put their best against our worst and hope to get one win out of this series, conceding the Halladay start
2) Put their worst against our worst and Pelfrey against Halladay, showing they have any type of confidence in their team against the reigning NL Cy Young winner.
They have chosen to wuss out here by taking the former and giving themselves a "guaranteed" win with this matchup. I hope someone tells Joe Blanton what they are doing here so he can absolutely crush them. And I think that happens. (Plus I am definitely picking the Phils to win until they lose)
Side note: Is this something that teams will do as often as they can against us? Will they just totally give up on their team as often as possible just to get 1 win in a 3-game series? It will be interesting to see how often teams with this same option will do the same thing. Show confidence or try to win. Tough call
Another side note: If you have no idea what I'm talking about, any baseball team would normally (for the most part) have a 5-man rotation even with off-days in between series'. So the Mets should start their 5th starter on Wednesday and have Pelfrey go against Halladay on Thursday. But because of the off-day, they can start him on Wednesday and it will be just as if they never had an off-day - he will get the same amount of rest.
Game 3: Jonathon Niese (0-0, 2.57 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (0-0, 1.50 ERA)
Halladay's pitching, and we will have played too many games at this point in the season without him getting a win. He'll win for that reason as well as the fact that Jonathon Niese spells his first name like an idiot.
This is a fun series to look forward. We'll get to embarrass Mets fans even more than they already are by just being Mets fans. After this, we can head down to Atlanta with a nice 6-0 record, on our way to the first undefeated record in baseball history.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
An Offensive Statement
Coming into this season and this series, there was no doubt that our pitchers would dominate. The hope was that our offense could keep up. The season-opening sweep against the Astros showed us something slightly different.
Game 1:
Roy Halladay did essentially what was expected of him, aside from the fact that he only pitched 6 innings. And the offense did what I expected of them, providing him with zero run support. With expectations nationally as high as they are, I was all too quick to basically give up on the Phillies in game 1 of the 2011 season. Heading into the 7th, and even into the 9th, I figured we could start worrying about winning the series, let alone sweeping it. Then we saw something that the Phillies don't normally show us: small ball. After 8 innings of barely knowing what a hit was, six singles and 3 runs later gets the Phillies their first win of the season.
Game 2:
The Phils showed us a little bit more small ball here, failing to hit a home run but scoring 9 runs in the process. With Ryan Howard our only legitimate power threat in the lineup (sorry, Raul), this is something that we will probably need to get used to doing. Meanwhile, hopefully we as fans can get used to Cliff Lee's dominance that he showed again Saturday night.
Game 3:
The most exciting part of our first home run of the season? It was a 3-run home run, not the solo shots that Howard and the rest of the roster have gotten so used to over the past few years. We got men on base, and then we drove them in. It's a beautiful thing to see, especially when Roy Oswalt pitches a solid 6 innings and gets us in a great position to finish off a sweep.
If you had told me coming into this series that we would give up 4, 4, and 3 runs, I would put money on (if I were a gambler...) the fact that the Phillies would lose at least one of those games. To me it would sound like solid outings from our starters with little run support and a few extra runs given up by our bullpen. I know this is only the first series of the season, but it looks great having our pitchers and hitters working together to get us wins. Too often in the past we have had just the offense or just the pitching doing their best while their counterparts slept.
Looking very quickly at how people have been doing so far, a few things jump out: Polanco hitting .417, Rollins hitting .500, Howard hitting .538. Obviously those numbers will not continue for 6 more months, but we need them to be consistently hitting if we want to be consistently winning. Like we all know, the pitching is not something we will really need to worry about as long as they are healthy. We will, however, need to keep tabs on how well the top of our lineup is producing. So far, so good.
One thing that scares me: How do we not have a shutout yet?! I thought these pitchers were all supposed to be Cy Young winners/contenders. So much for that. Let's go, guys. Season started now, let's get with the program.
(If you didn't pick up the sarcasm there, it's because I'm dead serious)
(Just kidding)
(But seriously)
Reminder: If you have any comments or questions, feel free to leave them as a comment on this post or you can email me at cskoehler5@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from all of you!
Game 1:
Roy Halladay did essentially what was expected of him, aside from the fact that he only pitched 6 innings. And the offense did what I expected of them, providing him with zero run support. With expectations nationally as high as they are, I was all too quick to basically give up on the Phillies in game 1 of the 2011 season. Heading into the 7th, and even into the 9th, I figured we could start worrying about winning the series, let alone sweeping it. Then we saw something that the Phillies don't normally show us: small ball. After 8 innings of barely knowing what a hit was, six singles and 3 runs later gets the Phillies their first win of the season.
Game 2:
The Phils showed us a little bit more small ball here, failing to hit a home run but scoring 9 runs in the process. With Ryan Howard our only legitimate power threat in the lineup (sorry, Raul), this is something that we will probably need to get used to doing. Meanwhile, hopefully we as fans can get used to Cliff Lee's dominance that he showed again Saturday night.
Game 3:
The most exciting part of our first home run of the season? It was a 3-run home run, not the solo shots that Howard and the rest of the roster have gotten so used to over the past few years. We got men on base, and then we drove them in. It's a beautiful thing to see, especially when Roy Oswalt pitches a solid 6 innings and gets us in a great position to finish off a sweep.
If you had told me coming into this series that we would give up 4, 4, and 3 runs, I would put money on (if I were a gambler...) the fact that the Phillies would lose at least one of those games. To me it would sound like solid outings from our starters with little run support and a few extra runs given up by our bullpen. I know this is only the first series of the season, but it looks great having our pitchers and hitters working together to get us wins. Too often in the past we have had just the offense or just the pitching doing their best while their counterparts slept.
Looking very quickly at how people have been doing so far, a few things jump out: Polanco hitting .417, Rollins hitting .500, Howard hitting .538. Obviously those numbers will not continue for 6 more months, but we need them to be consistently hitting if we want to be consistently winning. Like we all know, the pitching is not something we will really need to worry about as long as they are healthy. We will, however, need to keep tabs on how well the top of our lineup is producing. So far, so good.
One thing that scares me: How do we not have a shutout yet?! I thought these pitchers were all supposed to be Cy Young winners/contenders. So much for that. Let's go, guys. Season started now, let's get with the program.
(If you didn't pick up the sarcasm there, it's because I'm dead serious)
(Just kidding)
(But seriously)
Reminder: If you have any comments or questions, feel free to leave them as a comment on this post or you can email me at cskoehler5@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from all of you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)