Padres Preview

With our offense heating up, this seems to be the perfect time to face the San Diego Padres. Their pitchers did a pretty good job against us in our 4-game series in San Diego: 38 innings, 29 hits, 12 runs, 2.84 ERA. We are now facing them, though, at a time where most of our guys are hitting and playing pretty good baseball.

That's not the top reason that this is a great time, though. Our pitchers have not been at the top of their game recently, and this may be just what we need to get back on track. While their pitchers were able to shut us down pretty well back in April, you may recall that we actually swept those 4 games. That's because our pitchers did the following:

38 innings, 22 hits, 3 runs, 39 strikeouts, 0.71 ERA

Those numbers are real. Between our pitching success against the Padres and our recent hitting success against everyone else, I could not be happier about another 4-game series with the bottom-dwelling Padres. We think our offense has struggled this season? Here's a fun fact: The Padres rank last in the NL in runs, home runs, batting average, on base percentage, and slugging percentage. And it's not all that close. The highest slugging percentage in the NL is .416, the 2nd lowest is .361, and the Padres sit all the way down at .334. I haven't taken statistics since my sophomore year of high school, but I'm pretty sure that's what one would call an outlier (meaning they are hilariously behind everyone else). One thing I know about the trade deadline? Padres outfielder Ryan Ludwick doesn't look all that attractive to address any of our offensive issues.

Our starters were fantastic in this series, and our bullpen failed to give up a run in 8.1 innings. These were all close games, with Madson getting 2 saves, Contreras getting 1, and Bastardo getting his first career save by throwing 1 pitch.

We know that the Phillies are coming into this series playing well, but the Padres are, too. They've won 4 of 5 games and are coming off a 3-game sweep of the Marlins. Despite the horrendous offense, they have been doing well lately, scoring more than 7 runs per game in those 5 games. One individual to look out for in all of that is Cameron Maybin, who took his season batting average from .260 to .277 with this past series against his former team, the Marlins. He had 9 hits in 3 games, batting .600 and stealing 5 bases. He also is nicknamed Cocoa Diablo. Is that relevant? Doubtful. *TANGENT ALERT* But it does roughly translate to "Chocolate Devil," so apparently the Padres are overtly racist. But only in Spanish. Fitting, considering they're the "Padres." Except "padre" in Spanish means "father," often referring to a priest. So are these religious leaders suggesting that black people are the devil? And at this time? When players are talking about how there is a general lack of black players and fans in baseball?
*TANGENT ALERT ELEVATED* Do we really care if there aren't black players and fans in baseball? It means they aren't interested. Why is this an issue? Why is stuff still always about race? I don't get upset about the lack of white players in the NBA. I haven't heard anyone complain about the lack of Asians in the NFL. Hispanic people haven't been crying about being left out of the NHL. Get over yourself, Curtis Granderson. It's not an issue. You're being racist against everyone really, implying that it's so important for black people to be involved in baseball but not sticking up for other races. He also only makes arguments about inner city stuff and the fact that kids don't have the money to play. If a white person made these arguments, they'd be the most racist person since Jefferson Davis. I need to get away from the Confederate comparisons, though, seeing as now I'm in their capital. OK, that's enough of that.

So, anyway, back to what I was talking about. The Padres are playing well right now, but that's against the really crappy Marlins. The Phillies pitching staff should be a perfect remedy to their random offensive outburst. I'm sure the Padres are getting very uncomfortable with all of their scoring, so hopefully we can make them feel right at home from now through Monday.

Before I preview each game, here are a couple random things worth noting from around the league. Be prepared to find out my definition of "worth noting"

If you didn't catch SportsCenter today, the Mets landed themselves in a familiar spot...the Not Top 10. In the video "SportsCenter's Not Top Plays", at around the 1:10 mark you can catch the Mets' Angel Pagan actually throwing the ball to the other team. In baseball. Classic Mets.

The Angels recently called up highly-touted prospect Mike Trout. You may think that he's been up before, but you're just thinking of former-Angel and fellow fish Tim Salmon. Or maybe the pitcher from Angels in the Outfield named Whitt Bass. How do these guys end up on the Angels and not the Marlins? (If you didn't get it, those are all types of fish. Try to keep up here, people)

Game 1: Cory Luebke (3-3, 2.57 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (11-5, 2.71 ERA)
Luebke is making his 5th start of the season and 8th of his career. He's seen the Phillies in 3 innings of relief this season, giving up 3 hits and striking out 3. Being a lefty, he has an advantage against us since we have 3rd-worst OPS in the NL against left-handers. Too much can be made of that, though, as in the case with Domonic Brown. Uncle Chuck pinch hit Mayberry for Brown the other day for a better matchup against a lefty; however, Brown is batting .300 this season against lefties and just .235 against righties. I think the Phillies can take advantage of his inexperience, especially on what is supposed to be a very hot night. Hamels dominated the Padres in his first start against them, going 8 innings and giving up 4 hits and no runs. He has a 2.42 ERA against them in his career. The two guys he most needs to look out for are Ryan Ludwick (.333, 2 HR) and Chocolate Devil (.313, 3 2B).
Prediction: Phillies 6 Padres 0
Keep an eye out for: the Phillies bats staying hot and the Padres cooling down very quickly. Domonic Brown gets a multi-hit game

Game 2: Mat Latos (5-10, 4.02 ERA) vs. Kyle Kendrick (5-4, 3.34 ERA)
Latos really struggled in his first start against the Phils this season, lasting only 4.1 and walking 5 batters. He went 14-10 last season with a 2.92 ERA but has come nowhere close to regaining that form this season. How bad is he? Ben Francisco is 1 for 1 with a home run off of him. Kendrick has been largely successful against this Padres lineup, but has a 5.91 ERA against San Diego in his career. I have doubted Kendrick for much of this season, and he's used that tough love to make himself into a respectable 5th starter (3-2, 3.86 ERA). I have always liked Kendrick, but his inconsistencies make me very hesitant to pick him to win.
Prediction: Padres 7 Phillies 6
Keep an eye out for: home runs all over the place in this hot afternoon game, including another one from the red-hot Jimmy Rollins.

Game 3: Tim Stauffer (6-6, 2.83 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (11-4, 2.57 ERA)
For someone I've never heard of, we actually have a good amount of experience against Tim Stauffer. We've played against him twice - once this year where he pitched well, and once in a game I don't remember from 2007 where he pitched...uh...not so well. For Halladay, this is the closest he came this season to my precious complete game shutout. He made it through 8.2 before giving up an RBI single to some jerk named Will Venable. For this game, I have a feeling that (you guessed it) he can finish it off this time. The reason I'm not really addressing his last game is because I think it was a total freak accident, and I blame the satanic All-Star Game for it. And isn't it funny that Halladay's worst start yielded just 3 runs?
Prediction: Phillies 5 Padres 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay getting his first complete game shutout of the season. And, for when that inevitably doesn't happen because the baseball universe hates me, I'll predict a Ryan Howard home run. He's 4 for 8 in his career against Stauffer with 2 home runs and 6 RBI.

Game 4: Aaron Harang (8-2, 3.29 ERA) vs. Cliff Lee (9-6, 2.83 ERA)
Harang is a guy we've seen a decent amount over the years, mostly as a Red. We have generally enjoyed facing him, considering his 5.22 ERA against the Phils. Current players who have had success against him include Utley (.450, 1.300 OPS) and Howard (3 HR, 1.242 OPS). While those 2 stand out, our current roster has a .311 average against him. Lee is our only starter (of our original 5) to have missed the Padres the first time around. Hopefully, he can make up for what surely would have been a great start back then with one this time around. It's about time he proves that he can be awesome even if its not June.
Prediction: Phillies 8 Padres 2
Keep an eye out for: Utley and Howard coming out of their July slumps in a big way, each with a multi-hit game, including a home run for both of them.

Completely random side note for those of you who have made it this far: I talked in one Male Bag about how Dumb & Dumber is the greatest comedy of all time because, basically, it is impossible to take it too seriously. Well, I have been proven wrong.