Monday, April 16, 2012

Giants Preview: Western Standard Time

Tonight the Phillies begin a road trip that will have them playing in Western Standard Time for the next 7 games before traveling to Arizona and then back home.

If you saw nothing wrong with that first sentence, it's because you're normal. If you thought it was weird that I said "Western Standard Time" instead of "Pacific Standard Time," it's because you care way too much about the West Coast*. Let's not pretend like that time zone is at all relevant.

Oh sure, they might do some significant things out there that we should actually care about (and can I please stress the word "might"), but that doesn't mean that we should actually acknowledge that time works in a different way out there. It's not like anyone else does. Even the people out there barely do.

I mean let's just look at the facts:

- If they want to watch a football game that starts at 1:00 on the East Coast, they have to skip church. Not that those heathens would probably go to church anyway.

- I plan on recording How I Met Your Mother tonight at 8:00. By the time you read this, that will have already happened. I will also have a chaynce to watch that about 5 or 6 times before it is ever on in California. And that's with me not even watching it when it's actually scheduled.

- New Year's Day, 2000. Who knew that Y2K was a majoke before anyone else in this country? Us.

- When watching Nickelodeon as a kid (and probably anything else, but this channel stands out most to me), they would tell me that The Secret Life of Alex Mack was on at 8/7 Central. So even when different time zones are given some type of love, they only go as far as the next one over.

- The Super Bowl is in the afternoon on the West Coast. They don't care about sports, so I guess that doesn't really matter to them, but I know I'd be furious.

- Saturday Night Live isn't live there. Read that sentence again.

If you're concerned that these facts are only really about sports and television, then please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Cameron, and I'm excited to have you reading the blog for the first time despite the fact that you have never met me nor heard anything about me.

So the real question here is: Why the heck do we have to stay up until 1:00 in the morning to watch the Phillies when they play against these teams? Can't they just move all the games so they are played at 4:00 locally, and we can watch them at normal time? Sure, it's nice to be able to watch Jeopardy! and have more time to write a series preview, but it's mostly just annoying. Why are we catering to those liberal yahoos who don't get my sense of humor?

This series, though, has a special benefit to it. This weekend, those liberal yahoos that don't get my sense of humor will actually be catering to ME. I fly into Orange County Wednesday night for Paul's wedding on Saturday. This means that our series tonight with the Giants could not come at a better time. Sorry, jet lag, but you will have little to no effect on this guy, other than allowing me to sleep in every day I'm out there. HA! System: beaten. (Also, I'm going to be in Vegas Thursday night, so we can pretty much throw out any type of sleep schedule for that anyway.)

So, without further ado, here is a preview of the most convenient West Coast series in recent memory!

Game 1: Roy Halladay (2-0, 0.60 ERA) vs. Tim Lincecum (0-1, 12.91 ERA)
LOOK AT HOW BAD TIM LINCECUM IS! WHAT A HUGE LOSER! HE'S PRETTY MUCH THE WORST PITCHER IN BASEBALL!
Seriously, though, what is going on with Lincecum so far this season? It is very unlike him to start out the season so shaky. His 2 starts this year are a 5-4 loss and a 17-8 loss, and somehow the actual loss on his record came in the former. His last outing lasted just 2.1 innings after giving up 8 hits and 6 runs. I think we need to jump on this possible lapse in confidence and get to him early. Juan Pierre is 6 for 12 in his career against him with 2 triples, and he'll be leading off tonight. Halladay has not been great against the Giants in his career, but there are really no hitters here who scare me against him. Maybe to prove that he doesn't care about the past, he'll just throw a perfect game tonight?
Prediction: Phillies 3 Giants 0
Keep an eye out for: Halladay's first complete game shutout of the season. Yes, we're doing this again this season.

Game 2: Joe Blanton (1-1, 2.35 ERA) vs. Madison Bumgarner (1-1, 3.97 ERA)
Madison Bumgarner came into this season as one of the more hyped-up number 3 starters that I can remember. Everyone was predicting big things for him, and I really have no reason to think that he won't be very SUCCESSful this season and in the foreseeable future. Hopefully, though, he can put off that dominance for at least one more start. If we use the right lineup, I think we can do some damage against Bumgarner. We don't have a ton of experience against him but the little that we is pretty good. Rollins, Victorino, Polanco, Pence, and Mayberry have all gotten at least one hit off of him in only 3 or 4 at bats. As for Joe Blanton, it will be interesting to see which Blanton shows up. He has had a knack for starting the season slow since being a Philly, but he looked great in his last start. Angel Pagan will be the scariest hitter for him to face, as he is 6 for 12 in his career with 2 home runs. And that is the last time I will ever type "Angel Pagan will be the scariest hitter for him to face" (I even copied and pasted it just now just so I wouldn't type it again).
Prediction: Giants 5 Phillies 4
Keep an eye out for: a home run from John Mayberry, who has one off of Bumgarner and hit 3 off of the Giants last season.

Game 3: Cliff Lee (0-1, 3.46 ERA) vs. Matt Cain (1-0, 3.00 ERA)
There's no denying that Matt Cain is a great pitcher, but the Phillies have done their best to deny that over the years. He is just 1-4 with a 4.17 ERA against us. Most of the players to have done that damage, though, appear to be gone or injured. Rollins has had plenty of SUCCESS against Cain, batting .412 with 2 doubles, 3 triples, a home run, and 5 RBI. Hunter Pence and Laynce Nix stand out as newer Phillies who have hit him around though, batting .333 and .400 against him, respectively. Cliff Lee, on the other hand, has complete dominated the Giants in his career. He is 4-0 with a 0.82 ERA against them. One of my favorite Cliff Lee memories was his first start as a Philly. It was against the Giants, and he threw 109 pitches in a complete game 5-1 win. He also went 2-for-4 with a double in that game.
Prediction: Phillies 4 Giants 0
Keep an eye out for: Jimmy hitting for the cycle. People always complain about the cycle and say it's really overrated. "Wouldn't you rather have 4 home runs?" Yeah, obviously, but it doesn't mean it's not cool to do. And do you know the last Phillies player to hit for the cycle? David Bell. No offense, Kevin Petzold, but that needs to change.

*If the weirdness you saw was actually in the use of "standard" instead of "daylight," then you just care way too much about time zones

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