Nationals Preview: Walk-Up Songs

Reminder: follow me on Twitter @PhilsHighHopes. Email me: philshighhopes@gmail.com

Almost three quarters of the season is over with, and it seems like we almost have our complete team. With the most glaring exception of Placido Polanco, we have now gotten people back from injuries (Lidge, Oswalt), let go of people that sucked (Romero, Baez), and traded for people who are freakin' sweet (Pence).

To me, one of the most exciting parts of going to a Phillies home game is listening to the music that plays as each player comes up to bat. For the most part, this is something that is supposed to pump the person up or get them motivated in some way as they walk to the plate. While that is generally the intended purpose, different players could have different reasons for picking their walk-up song.

Now that we mostly have a lineup that we feel like we will see the rest of the season, I am going to provide each of those players with their own walk-up song for this series, our first full home series since the trade deadline. I hope it will become clear throughout this list that these are not serious suggestions for their songs; but rather, these are just songs that I have chosen that in some way symbolize each player. I don't actually think that Chase Utley should switch to a Hall & Oates song as he prepares to rip a double down the line. Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" has worked all too well for him for way too long.

Let's start with what our lineup looks like for tonight:

Jimmy Rollins - Start Me Up by The Rolling Stones
To me, this song is great at symbolizing what Jimmy does for our team. Once you start up Jimmy, we'll never stop. We are 42-11 when he scores a run this season. If you take that winning percentage and play an entire season with J-Roll scoring in every game, we would go 128-34. That's pretty good

Shane Victorino - Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler
Although Shane's pretty much always used a Bob Marley selection for his walk-up song, I think this song fits him a little better. It basically talks about someone getting a bunch of credit when it can just as easily be given to another person. If you look at these first 4 batters in our lineup, everyone has heard tons about Jimmy, Chase, and Ryan over the past few years since we started really winning. Victorino, though, has quietly been our most consistent player. He has gotten double-digit doubles, triples, home runs, and steals each of the past 3 seasons now. In 2008 and '09, our World Series years, he led the team in batting average both years. He is one of the better center fielders in baseball, receiving a Gold Glove in '08, '09, and 2010. Although he rarely gets the "sunlight on his face," he is absolutely a huge part of the success we've had.

Chase Utley - You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates
First of all, this is an amazing song, so it fits Chase for that reason. Most of these songs, though, I have been thinking about for months now. Finding the right fit for each player is not easy to do, and Chase actually ended up being one of the toughest. I didn't want to reuse Take Me Out to the Ballgame that I used last year, despite the fact that both Chase and the song symbolize baseball. So, this song, I actually thought of about 15 minutes ago. Last night, I had an extremely vivid dream where I got to hang out with Chase Utley. His house was awesome, and I actually learned that he and I were cousins in this dream. So this song is more just a plea than anything else. Please make my dreams come true.

Ryan Howard - Protection by Massive Attack
Howard was another player that I had a tough time coming up with a song for. I feel like his season has been almost forgettable despite being among the league leaders in RBI all year. Since the arrival of Hunter Pence, though, his numbers have been much better. In the first 105 games this season, Howard was hitting .246 with 20 home runs and 78 RBI. In the 12 games since acquiring Pence, though, he is batting .304 with 5 home runs and 13 RBI. So, according to those numbers, if Pence was a Philly all year, Howard would be batting .304 with 49 home runs and 127 RBI. That's gotta be true, right? Extrapolation has never been wrong. By looking at his recent success, you can tell that Howard has definitely been embracing his new-found protection.

Hunter Pence - Pennsylvania by Dakota Jay
I can't count how many times I've seen "Pence-sylvania" puns since our trade for Hunter Pence. I think it's kind of cheesy, but it works. The song I chose here, though, is for more than just the reason of his name sounding like our state (or should I say "your state" now that I'm in VA?). The song talks about working without a break and hating your life and, therefore, wanting to come up to the great state of Pennsylvania. If that doesn't describe this season for Pence, I'm not sure what would. Another reason I chose this song is because it's by one of my best friends, country singer Dakota Jay. Check out the video, then click on this link to go buy the song on iTunes and support a great guy. Then buy some of his other songs because they're good, and I just told you to. Plus I'm going to ask him if he saw an increase in sales over the next few days, and if he doesn't, I swear I'll shut this mother down. You know we've come too far in the season for any of us to give up on this blog now. But I'll do it! Don't make me! Go! Buy the songs!

Raul Ibanez - Everything About You by Ugly Kid Joe
The chorus says "I hate everything about you." Multiple times.

Carlos Ruiz - The Sign by Ace of Base
Ok so this one is a bit of a stretch I think, but bear with me. So we have something like 12 or 13 aces in our starting rotation, and everyone knows that. But what is the one constant in that? Well, wins I guess. But other than that, it's Carlos Ruiz behind the plate. It's like he is the base of our aces. Ace of Base? Eh? Eh? Maybe? AND...get this. He calls the pitches for them. Using signs. The Sign. Yes? Now do we like this? You weren't sure at first, but now you must admit that I realllly did my homework on this one. You're welcome for that stroke of genius. Boom.

Wilson Valdez - Cast Away theme by Alan Silvestri
He looks like Wilson the Volleyball from the movie Cast Away. So this is what he gets. I could've gone with something about him pitching, but I wasn't sure how to swing that really (pun intended. Hard). Interesting fact, though: Cliff Lee has more home runs than Wilson Valdez, who has as many wins as Joe Blanton this season.

Cole Hamels - California Gurls by Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg
Hamels is freakin' obsessed with California. He's from San Diego, his nickname is Hollywood, his hair is clearly not a style developed on the East Coast, and he dominates California teams when pitching. In 5 starts against the Dodgers, Padres, and Giants this season, Hamels is 4-1 with a 0.89 ERA, and his one loss was a 2-1 game. He basically makes those players look like girls. Girls that play in California. Nice.

While that is our starting lineup for tonight, here are a few of our other bench players and they should have pumpin' from the stadium stereo as they come to the dish.

Placido Polanco - I'm In Love With A Stripper by T-Pain
This may seem inappropriate, and it pretty much is. But the reasoning behind it is much more clever than "I think Polanco goes to Delilah's a lot." Polanco has 95 hits this season, good for 5th on the team. Let's compare that to the horrible Ben Francisco, who has just 48 hits, about half of Polanco's total. The weird thing about this, though, is that Polanco has 15 extra-base hits. Francisco has 16. What can we deduce from those numbers? Polanco loooves singles.

Ben Francisco - What Have You Done For Me Lately by Janet Jackson
Speaking of Ben Francisco, why is that majoke even on our team? He was batting 7-hole-hitter-respectable .266 after the first month of the season. He had 25 hits, 4 home runs, and 18 RBI in April. Since then, he has 23 hits, 2 home runs, and 13 RBI. In 3 1/2 months. His average is down to .224. A lot of this is because he doesn't get a lot of playing time, but, seriously, why are we keeping this guy around? The best thing he did this season was get a good bounce on a would-be ground out to third base against the A's for a walk-off single.

John Mayberry - Centerfield by John Fogerty
This should come as no surprise if you've ever read this blog before, but Mayberry has been proving his worth through more than just my writing recently. He has been taking advantage of every opportunity he has, and he always seems ready to play. Today. Look at him. He can be. Centerfield.

Domonic Brown - Girlfriend by *N Sync feat. Nelly
If you listen to this song, you can kind of imagine Domonic Brown singing this to Charlie Manuel. Just replace the word "girlfriend" with "manager," and the whole time he's just totally talking about how bad Raul Ibanez sucks. You probably have to change a few more lyrics around because I don't think that Manuel's worried about his left fielder being by his side in the middle of the night, but you should be able to get the point.

Michael Martinez - Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano
You don't run into many Miguel Smiths in this world. Why, if you're from the Dominican, do you name your kid Michael instead of Miguel? Michael Martinez is a hilarious mixture of Spanish and English, much like this super annoying Christmas song.

Ross Gload - I'm a Tar Heel Born by The Marching Tar Heels
This is the fight song for the University of North Carolina, located along what is known as "Tobacco Road" in North Carolina along with a few other colleges. No, Ross Gload did not go there. But you can't tell me that this is natural. Because of this, I've given Ross the nickname "Tobacco Gload."

And, although we don't normally associate pitchers with walk-up songs, I also came up with some for our other starters.

Roy Halladay - I Can Go the Distance by Michael Bolton
At some point this season, Roy Halladay will throw a complete game shutout. He has left a few games in which he had a shutout going, but he can't seem to get through 9 innings without giving up a run. We saw it 4 times last year, so we all know that Roy can, in fact, go the distance.

Cliff Lee - Mo' Money Mo' Problems by Notorious B.I.G. feat. Puff Daddy and Ma$e
Cliff's decision to come to Philadelphia this offseason was very well-documented. People were quick to point out his willingness to take less money to come to a much sweeter team. And this year has been pretty much no problem for the Phils, specifically Lee. Five shutouts and 2 home runs? No problems here.

Roy Oswalt - Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot
Oswalt missed much of this season with back issues. That's pretty much it for that one.

Vance Worley - Surprise, Surprise by Bruce Springsteen
There hasn't been a bigger surprise this year than Worley. He saw very little action last season, and we had four aces lined up in our starting rotation as well as the usually-durable Joe Blanton. Besides that, Kyle Kendrick had real starting experience and would for sure take over if anything went awry. When two things went awry, though, Worley came in and soon became a front-runner for NL Rookie of the Year.

So if you're going to any of the games this weekend, hopefully you can expect to hear a few of those gems. And whether you're going or not, you probably want to know what to expect. So let's go

Game 1: Livan Hernandez (6-11, 4.41 ERA) vs. Cole Hamels (13-6, 2.53 ERA)
Hamels pitched against the Nats once this season, throwing a complete game. Over his career, he's seen plenty of them, going 10-3 with a 2.61 ERA. The Phils have also seen plenty of Livan Hernandez over the years, to the tune of 301 career at bats against him. Some notable numbers: Utley .353 average, Howard 4 home runs, Victorino .333 average, and Pence .400 average
Prediction: Phillies 5 Nationals 1
Keep an eye out for: Hamels doing some more campaigning for the Cy Young as he tosses another complete game against Washington.

Game 2: John Lannan (8-7, 3.56 ERA) vs. Roy Oswalt (4-7, 3.84 ERA)
John Lannan bites. This series looks like such a joke to me. Our pitchers are so good. I am still not over that. Roy Oswalt, who is the worst of them right now, gets to face John Lannan who gets hit around like a freakin' pinata (I don't know how to make that stupid thing above the "n." You know, though...a Mexican fake animal filled with candy) when he plays the Phillies. Even Raul Ibanez has a .522 career average against him. Is this a joke?
Prediction: Phillies 8 Nationals 4
Keep an eye out for: Lannan leaving in the 4th inning. He's seriously so bad. Did you read that? Raul Ibanez has good numbers against him. Raul Ibanez.

Game 3: Wang (1-2, 3.60 ERA) vs. Roy Halladay (15-4, 2.51 ERA)
I really don't want to predict a complete game shutout here because I know I'll screw it up. It really really really should happen though. I'm not predicting it, but it should definitely happen. He KILLS the Nationals (11-1, 2.21 ERA). And we should definitely win, Chien-Ming Wang totally sucks. His 3.60 ERA is a joke when it should be a majoke. He's given up 12 runs this season in 15 innings, but only 6 of them have been earned. That probably makes him really unlucky, but I'd rather interpret that as him being super lucky that those runs weren't earned. He doesn't strike many people out, and if we can put the bat on the ball, we should be able to hit him around a lot.
Prediction: Phillies 9 Nationals 1
Keep an eye out for: one majoke of a run on the last pitch of the game. The umps will call the game without there being 3 outs in the 9th because they'll be so annoyed that the Nationals decided to do something when Halladay was so close to a shutout.

For the next series: I will be in California from Saturday to Wednesday. I still hope to get a preview up while I'm there, and I should have plenty of time to write it on the plane I guess. But please don't be super disappointed if there's nothing. It is against the Diamondbags, though, and I really want to be able to talk trash on them again.