Moving down to the South was bound to change my life in many ways, good or bad, intended or unintended. A lot of really great things have occurred and my life is much more fulfilling in many ways, most of which you aren't all that interested in hearing about. While there have been a couple less-than-positive adjustments, the one possible change that would have been the most crushing to us all never occurred: I was able to continue watching the Phillies with no real problem. MLB.TV was a glorious blessing in my life.
This year, though, may be different. Because of the location, Phillies games are at a premium here to catch on television. If they are on FOX or ESPN, then I can obviously watch with no problems. An occasional and random MLB Network broadcast is also always a welcome surprise. For the most part, though, I will be left with the option of heading out to Bailey's* or following the games on ESPN.com's GameCast. Those are not exactly the preferred methods of following the Phils for someone who lives and dies with each out. And, when you think about it, those methods of watching the games should really be of concern to you as well. Now I know what you're thinking: "Cameron, how is it that you can pull off any style of facial hair?" Well, that's a question for me to answer another time. For now, though, I will tell you why the style in which I watch the Phillies will affect YOU.
First of all, I hate watching with lots of other people around. When that happens, I usually am more concerned with the stupidity of the people around me than actually watching the game. No, not all sports fans are dumb. But, what kind of Men In Black fan would I be if I followed that logic? Agent Kay would be so disappointed. So rather than watch with a group of morons who "know" that Ryan Howard should have been traded in 2007, I'd prefer to spend time listening to my own thoughts and figuring out how to get them across to you in the best way possible.
And along with listening to my thoughts, we all know how important it is for me to listen to the majokers that are Christopher Wheeler and Thomas McCarthy. Complaining about them made up roughly 41% of my posts last year**, and I will rely on their horrendousness for even more of my material this year now that Raoops is gone. If I am sitting and reading a pitch-by-pitch update on a computer, I won't be able to hate them as much as I possibly can. And we don't want that, do we?
Lastly, I think it only fair that we all be on the same level here. I will definitely miss things that you hear or see if I need to use these other media for following the games, and, if we're being honest, it's WAY more important for me to catch everything than it is for you. Offended by that statement? I can't wait to read your blog! (Offended by that statement? Uh...sorry?)
So it is clear that this has a great effect on you. If I can't watch as many games as I would be able to if I were sitting in the greater Philadelphia area, we all suffer! And here is where you get to become the hero. Ready for it?
Many*** people have told me over the years that I should get paid for writing this blog. Congrats to those people, because you can make your own dream come true! The best way for me to watch as many Phillies games as possible is through MLB.TV. Last year, I was lucky enough to have bought it for Jeremiah for his birthday in April, then move in with him 3 months later and reap all the benefits. This year, money is a little bit tighter, and $125 is not something that I'm really excited about just throwing around (my trip to Kohl's today may tell a different story, but get over it. I'm an MVC). So I am posting today to solicit money via the internet. Phrasing it that way makes it sound illegal, and it very well may be. My number one life lesson learned from my father, though, is, "It's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission." So if I get some jail time for this, so be it.
All I am asking is that you send me $5 (with parents' permission for those of you under 18 years old). MLB.TV costs $125 for the year, and it will make your reading experience that much better, as I have already outlined. If I can get ANY amount of money, that would be a huge help. You can give more than 5, you can give less than 5, but the only thing I am asking you for is 5 dollars. I doubt there is any way that more than 25 people do this (really I doubt more than 0 people do this), and so you don't have to worry about your money just going in my pocket if too many people have donated. I don't really want to go through the amount of work that I put into this blog and act like I deserve to get paid millions of dollars for it, but if you're interested in that explanation for some reason, you can ask me privately. I am really just asking you guys, out of the kindness of your hearts, to help out a fellow fan and friend have the best 2012 Phillies season possible. It may sound desperate, and I'm totally OK with that. I don't really want to explain the extent of desperation that does or, more likely, does not exist in my financial life.
So, if you are the greatest person who has ever lived on this planet and want to send me a couple bucks, just send me an email (PhilsHighHopes@gmail.com), Tweet (@PhilsHighHopes), text, Facebook message, or anything else you can think of to let me know. I will then send you an address that you can send that to so you can help out this worthy cause.
I may end up getting $125 from this, or I may end up getting $0 from this. Either way, I still think that you guys are awesome, and I can't thank you enough for the support you've given over the years. If it weren't for you, there's really no chance I would continue writing this. And I absolutely LOVE writing this. So, in all seriousness, thank you for all you have given me already. I couldn't ask for more.
(Except that money that I just mentioned. Yeah...send me that.)
* Bailey's is the best sports bar in the world. They have tons of TVs and every sports package you can name, along with 5-6 that you can't. Also, they reward you for drinking beer! I've had enough beer there since moving down here that I've earned half-price wings. Forever. (This is not a lie. I got a t-shirt too!)
** If you want the complete breakdown, it was something like this:
46% hating on Raoops
41% hating on Wheeler/McCarthy
9% talking about nothing in any way related to baseball
3% loving John Mayberry
1% the word "majoke"
<1% talking about the Phillies
*** Two
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
I'm Back. He's Not.
The requests started coming in about a week ago, via text, Twitter, email, and every other media imaginable (really just one text and one tweet, and I get an email whenever someone tweets at me. But that's still multiple requests so get off my back about it.). The people have spoken, and I have decided to listen (and then begin talking over them).
It's been questioned whether or not I can go 2 full seasons updating this bad boy. What do I have to say to my doubters?
I appreciate that.*
No one thought I could do it last year, and you saw what happened. Other than a terrible blog cliffhanger to end a terrible Phillies postseason "run," I did everything you could've asked of me and more. Your disbelief merely fuels my fire. Either that, or I just really have nothing better to do with my time.
Some might ask what I get out of this. "Why, Cameron? Why put yourself through all of this? You don't get paid. No one actually listens to you. I'm a loyal reader, and I can still only stand reading when you type in a Canadian accent. Christopher Wheeler and Thomas McCarthy are still employed by the organization. What could you possible be getting out of this?"
Well, Loyal Reader...while I hear what you are saying and can agree with most of it, there is one point of contention here. Someone is definitely listening. There is something very different about this Phillies team this year, and, without a doubt, much of the credit for this change can go to Yours Truly.
In 82 blog posts last year, I focused on the shortcomings and failures of one Raul Ibanez in approximately 93 of them. That's right. Raoops was such a tragic piece of Phillies history that he defies all laws of mathematics. My undying loyalty to the Phillies and hatred of Ibanez undoubtedly led to the best non-re-signing of someone in sports history.
I recently started reading (and when I say "reading," I mean "listening to on tape") the Harry Potter series. I know, I know...I'm about 14 years behind everyone else. And I'm only through book 3, so, please, no spoilers. But in reading them and seeing the movies at this time rather than at a pop-culturally-appropriate time, it is allowing me to make some awesome connections to the Phillies since it is so fresh in my mind. We all know that Raoops is absolutely Lord Voldemort. And we all know that due to Ron's fear of spiders and love of food, I am absolutely more of the Ron Weasley-type. At this moment in time, however, I feel when I look in the mirror that I am lacking a certain lightning-bolt-shaped scar on my forehead. Why, you ask? Well if you can't figure that out by now I feel sorry for you, but I'll explain anyway. I have saved all of us from The Dark Lord. He Who Must Not Be Named is no longer a threat to our organization because of me. If he ever tries to return, I will still be here to fend him off (and maybe some stuff happens in books 4-7 that don't completely agree with this comparison that I'm making, but can we please just go with it?). Someone important somewhere has been reading this blog (perhaps Domonic Brown, who followed me on Twitter for a short period of time?) and has come to see that the people truly despise Raul Ibanez. Also, he totally sucks. Would I dare say that I'm better than Harry Potter? Well, I got rid of the a-hole and managed to let my parents live. You be the judge.
So enough with the Harry Potter geek-fest. The worry now quickly becomes: Who is going to play left field for us?! How can we so quickly replace a miserable bat and a scarecrow with a glove? If you've ever talked to me for more than 90 seconds, you know that the answer to that question is John Mayberry. If you're not satisfied with that, however, here are a few other options that would be just as well or better suited to play in the outfield and take up a spot in our lineup:
- Domonic Brown - minor league outfielder
- Matt Stairs - unemployed Canadian
- Jim Thome - a Philadelphia favorite who may or may not know how to run anymore
- Lenny Dykstra - former Philly and current gambling addict
- Tommy Murphy - Pennridge basketball player who hates Raul enough that he would naturally do the opposite of him in any situation
- A bat - if we sat a bat in the batter's box with no actual batter, it would be just as likely to get a hit
- A glove - if we sat a glove in the outfield with no person wearing it, it would be just as likely to make a play
- Some guy who had no arms and did an assembly at Pennridge last year - he has no arms
- Whitney Houston - too soon?
- A scarecrow with a glove - seriously, is this that bad of an idea as compared to Raoops?
Whoever it is, we know one thing: It's not Raul Ibanez. That's all that really matters. And now we know that the Yankees have zero chance of winning the World Series. Have fun with that.
While it is unfortunate to not have him around solely for someone to blame all of our problems on, it is also fortunate because we will most likely have no problems now that he is gone. Many question if good can really exist without evil. In much the same way, they ask if this blog can survive without its biggest enemy. Who will I rant about when I just want to be angry? I have a feeling we'll be OK. As stated earlier, Thomas McCarthy and Christopher Wheeler are still employed by the organization.
I look forward to a fun year, and I'll be sure to get a few more posts in before the season starts in just over a month. Things to look forward to between now and then: analysis of who joined the team, analysis of who left the team, an updated High Hopes Glossary, and a fundraising effort to help keep the blog alive! Stay tuned!
*Did I just compare myself to Tim Tebow? Absolutely.
It's been questioned whether or not I can go 2 full seasons updating this bad boy. What do I have to say to my doubters?
I appreciate that.*
No one thought I could do it last year, and you saw what happened. Other than a terrible blog cliffhanger to end a terrible Phillies postseason "run," I did everything you could've asked of me and more. Your disbelief merely fuels my fire. Either that, or I just really have nothing better to do with my time.
Some might ask what I get out of this. "Why, Cameron? Why put yourself through all of this? You don't get paid. No one actually listens to you. I'm a loyal reader, and I can still only stand reading when you type in a Canadian accent. Christopher Wheeler and Thomas McCarthy are still employed by the organization. What could you possible be getting out of this?"
Well, Loyal Reader...while I hear what you are saying and can agree with most of it, there is one point of contention here. Someone is definitely listening. There is something very different about this Phillies team this year, and, without a doubt, much of the credit for this change can go to Yours Truly.
In 82 blog posts last year, I focused on the shortcomings and failures of one Raul Ibanez in approximately 93 of them. That's right. Raoops was such a tragic piece of Phillies history that he defies all laws of mathematics. My undying loyalty to the Phillies and hatred of Ibanez undoubtedly led to the best non-re-signing of someone in sports history.
I recently started reading (and when I say "reading," I mean "listening to on tape") the Harry Potter series. I know, I know...I'm about 14 years behind everyone else. And I'm only through book 3, so, please, no spoilers. But in reading them and seeing the movies at this time rather than at a pop-culturally-appropriate time, it is allowing me to make some awesome connections to the Phillies since it is so fresh in my mind. We all know that Raoops is absolutely Lord Voldemort. And we all know that due to Ron's fear of spiders and love of food, I am absolutely more of the Ron Weasley-type. At this moment in time, however, I feel when I look in the mirror that I am lacking a certain lightning-bolt-shaped scar on my forehead. Why, you ask? Well if you can't figure that out by now I feel sorry for you, but I'll explain anyway. I have saved all of us from The Dark Lord. He Who Must Not Be Named is no longer a threat to our organization because of me. If he ever tries to return, I will still be here to fend him off (and maybe some stuff happens in books 4-7 that don't completely agree with this comparison that I'm making, but can we please just go with it?). Someone important somewhere has been reading this blog (perhaps Domonic Brown, who followed me on Twitter for a short period of time?) and has come to see that the people truly despise Raul Ibanez. Also, he totally sucks. Would I dare say that I'm better than Harry Potter? Well, I got rid of the a-hole and managed to let my parents live. You be the judge.
So enough with the Harry Potter geek-fest. The worry now quickly becomes: Who is going to play left field for us?! How can we so quickly replace a miserable bat and a scarecrow with a glove? If you've ever talked to me for more than 90 seconds, you know that the answer to that question is John Mayberry. If you're not satisfied with that, however, here are a few other options that would be just as well or better suited to play in the outfield and take up a spot in our lineup:
- Domonic Brown - minor league outfielder
- Matt Stairs - unemployed Canadian
- Jim Thome - a Philadelphia favorite who may or may not know how to run anymore
- Lenny Dykstra - former Philly and current gambling addict
- Tommy Murphy - Pennridge basketball player who hates Raul enough that he would naturally do the opposite of him in any situation
- A bat - if we sat a bat in the batter's box with no actual batter, it would be just as likely to get a hit
- A glove - if we sat a glove in the outfield with no person wearing it, it would be just as likely to make a play
- Some guy who had no arms and did an assembly at Pennridge last year - he has no arms
- Whitney Houston - too soon?
- A scarecrow with a glove - seriously, is this that bad of an idea as compared to Raoops?
Whoever it is, we know one thing: It's not Raul Ibanez. That's all that really matters. And now we know that the Yankees have zero chance of winning the World Series. Have fun with that.
While it is unfortunate to not have him around solely for someone to blame all of our problems on, it is also fortunate because we will most likely have no problems now that he is gone. Many question if good can really exist without evil. In much the same way, they ask if this blog can survive without its biggest enemy. Who will I rant about when I just want to be angry? I have a feeling we'll be OK. As stated earlier, Thomas McCarthy and Christopher Wheeler are still employed by the organization.
I look forward to a fun year, and I'll be sure to get a few more posts in before the season starts in just over a month. Things to look forward to between now and then: analysis of who joined the team, analysis of who left the team, an updated High Hopes Glossary, and a fundraising effort to help keep the blog alive! Stay tuned!
*Did I just compare myself to Tim Tebow? Absolutely.
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