Who We Got

Gentle reminder: GIVE ME MONEY

I hope for 2 reasons that you have had enough time to fully digest all of the players that we've lost over the past five months.
Reason number 1: In one week, you will have to get used to booing those players. We don't deal with phormer players very well
Reason number 2: I'm now going to introduce you to some of their replacements, who you must love more than them.

I know that the transition into a new season can be difficult for many reasons, and one of them is getting to know all of the new faces you will be seeing wearing Phillies pinstripes. Some of these guys come from teams we don't care about, some come from teams we don't like, one comes back after being a member of the Phillies years ago, and one comes up from the minor leagues. Learn their names, and learn them quick, and you'll soon be the most popular person who won't shut up about the Phillies and annoyingly knows way more about them than everyone else you associate with*.

Freddy Galvis - This is hands down the most exciting newcomer in my eyes. It is well-documented how much I love minor league baseball players, and, up until a couple weeks ago, Freddy Galvis was slated to be just that coming into this season. At the beginning of March, he had a solid spot as the starting shortstop for the AAA Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs. Then it was revealed that Baseball wasn't going to be coming back to start this season, so the Phils called up Freddy. After the initial excitement, I'm sure Galvis came to the realization that he had no experience at second base and pooped his pants. At least he doesn't have the pressure of replacing one of the most beloved players in Philadelphia history. He can at least count on one person to support him regardless of what he accomplishes. I never desert my Dippin' Dots. They're the Phillies of the Phuture! (Pun intended for the whole "desert" and "Dippin' Dots" thing. Even though that's actually the spelling of the arid wasteland, it's pronounced in this context like the delicious post-dinner treat)

Laynce Nix - Nix is a unique addition to the team, because last year he played his home games in front of a majority of Phillies fans as well. His one year with the Nationals produced 16 home runs and a .250 batting average. That makes him good enough for 2 things in my eyes: 1) Sitting on the bench behind Mayberry; and 2) Inspiring me to start spelling any word that rhymes with his name in the same way (i.e. "We have a good chaynce of making the playoffs," "There's nothing quite like a good pair of sweatpaynce," and, especially for my parents, "Do you mind if we daynce with yo' dates?"

Jonathan Papelbon - This is an especially sweet addition for the Phillies for multiple reasons, one of which is glaringly personal to me. First of all, Ryan Madson is actually having Tommy John Surgery and missing the season. Did the Phillies know this prior to not signing him? If not, they sure lucked out and look pretty awesome right now. It's also extra awesome because my best Virginia friend, Hannum, is a huge Red Sox fan. His favorite player? Jonathan Papelbon. It just gives me more things to make fun of him for since the Phillies tend to make a habit of making the playoffs, while the Red Sox are busy suffering from historic collapses.
(Oh yeah. Papelbon's our closer. And he should be pretty good.)

Chad Qualls - Qualls comes to us from the Padres, and last year he helped to solidify one of the better bullpens in baseball pre-trade deadline with the help of Mike Adams and Heath Bell. He has pretty average career numbers, and I wouldn't expect him to be put in a lot of really big spots towards the end of games. He'll serve as more of a Chad Durbin-type guy for us, and I always really liked Chad Durbin. He was one of the most under-appreciated players on our championship team. Qualls reminds me of him mostly because they are both named Chad, and, yes, that is completely what I am basing this analysis and prediction off of.

Jim Thome - Here is the player that every Philadelphia fan is probably the most excited about getting. Thome has always been known as one of the "good guys" in all of sports, and people also get to save some money because they can break out their old Jim Thome Phillies jerseys from 2003-05. While we should not expect much out of Thome in terms of production, we can at least expect him to be a nice Sunday-afternoon starter and left-handed bat off the bench. Also, he's a guy that we won't threaten to lynch if he strikes out to end a game. That's always a positive.

Ty Wigginton - Wigginton comes over to us from every other team in baseball. The Phillies will be his 7th team in 11 major league seasons. He is expected to share some time filling in at 1st base and 3rd base as needed (you know, 'cause we don't have an infield anymore). He can hit for a little power, averaging 23 doubles and 16 home runs per season. According to Christopher Wheeler, we can expect him to hit at least triple those numbers playing in the matchbox that we call home. I have no real feelings about Wigginton, other than I usually get him mixed up with Josh Willingham, another insignificant utility player. Could Wigginton possibly be Raoops' replacement as team scapegoat this season?**

With the season just one week away, start getting used to these players. It's really hard to know what to expect out of any of them given their histories (or lack thereof), so it will be an exciting start to the season to find out what we've really gotten this offseason.

Before Opening Day, I'd like to get at least 2 more posts in. Impossible, you say? I might agree, but a guy can dream. Look for a new and improved High Hopes Glossary at the beginning of next week as well as a season preview probably on Wednesday.

*Not as glorious of a title as it sounds

**No. It's still Raoops' fault.